Tag Archives: zoonooz

The Problem With Vampires…

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…is they keep coming back. (Apologies to vampire lovers out there, you know who you are…)

Just when we thought we were well and truly rid of the worst people in government, wouldn’t you know, they rose up on a tsunami of lies and managed to get back into power. And now here we are in the spooky season, with the government shutdown and honestly, there really wasn’t a “good” option for the Democrats, just bad and really bad.

But here we are and ZooNooZ is one Media giant that has not caved to F45 and his goons.

Apologies to people who actually like hairless cats. I don’t understand it, but I stand with you.

Be the Bear!
Bob T is not trying to be offensive Panda

Ice Cream Goes with Wedding Cake if You’re a Bear!

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There has been a lot of bear defamation in the NooZ lately. Is this sort of: A BEAR WALKS INTO AN ICE CREAM SHOP…or A BEAR EATS A WEDDING CAKE…the kinds of jokes we tell about bears? I mean Fat Bear Week IS a thing, but for the most part, they are eating fish (…yes we KNOW you don’t like fish, Mikey) not ice cream or wedding cake.

Here with the real Bear Nooz…

Many people have pointed out the various inconsistencies in the alleged photo of a bear supposedly eating a wedding cake, but if the bear was Mikey, well, I think you might have to re-examine the evidence…

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite Fat Bears!

Be The Bear!
Bob T I’m just “fluffy” Panda

It’s Fat Bear Fest Week!

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So, obviously I am “with” the bears” in the best sense of the words, that is, watching them chow down on donuts, ice cream and wedding cake, and looking through the archives to find some suitable Encore presentations for you while I finish today’s the next ‘toon.

I hope you enjoyed this encore presentation of ‘toons celebrating Fat Bear week!

Be the Bear!
Bob T we prefer to call it well insulated Panda

A trip to the archives!

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This has not been a great day, woke up with a headache. Not the headache in DC, this one a bit more localized. So I’m going to dive into the archives for some ‘toons from Septembers past!

THIS is your brain on pandas. Any questions?

Our humble beginnings!

Our lack of taste is only exceeded by our sense of the absurd.

And remember what happened in August of 2013? I’ll wait…

And just how did the panda kindergarten get her address?
Pinky needs stuff and she needs it now!

somehow it always comes around to Pinky! How does that happen?

We’re waiting…*tappity tap pity tap*
Mittens is really back.

Sigh….He is back and we wish he would leave.

Well, that’s our dive into the archives for today! I’ll try to track down Frank and Mikey and see where they are on their trip to Brooks Falls for the 2025 Fat Bear Contest! Life is a laugh a minute, is it not?

Be the Bear
Bob T this is why we can’t have nice things Panda

Karma’s Gonna Get You

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We have yet another report from the League of Animal Justice today! Multiple astute readers alerted me to this very important story about a Cape Buffalo who dispatched a trophy hunter down in the Limpopo game reserve. Seems like there is an organized effort there to counter violent extremists who invade their peaceful paradise.

Karma’s a bitch, ya know?

Just sayin’! What goes around comes around, if there is anyone *ahem* who needs to hear this.*

  • Hopefully they are not reading the Panda Chronicles.

Be the Bear!
Bob T lunch on the Limpopo Panda

If Congress can go on Vacation in August, so can I

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Okay, I’m not really on vacation, it’s just that some days I don’t get the things done that I think I will. Meanwhile, over at the Substack, I posted the whole story of Ping being targeted by the evil ICE. The second installment drops soon today.

But it IS the Panda Birthday Season, and we do have some important Panda Birthdays looming, so I’ll just take a little dive into the archives and pull up a few things!

Guess who has a birthday in August?

Pinky: if you guessed any bear other than me, try again.

There must be cake!
Oh dear….are you going to leave her there?
Is this any way to treat our Nation’s most adorable icon?
Pinky needs stuff and she needs it now!
And it was ever thus….
Meihem, not Mayhem.

Remember when Six and Sebben’s older sisters were Pinky’s nemesis?

I was really afraid this was going to happen.
What is Pinky reading?

Don’t make Pinky mad!

Be the Bear
Bob T I’ll probably have some new ‘toons next week Panda

It’s Panda Birthday Season

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…and I can’t believe I forgot Mr. Wu’s birthday on the 29th! I am so ashamed! He turns 13 this year and you know what that means!

Today, I am a bear!

And now for today’s ‘toon…

In penance for missing Mr. Wu’s birthday, I shall forgo the cake, and just eat a bowl of frosting! Happy birthday, Wu Bear! You are still the best. Sorry that those other pandas stole your birthday for themselves!

Be the Bear
Bob T I can’t remember everything Panda

Does It Feel Cold In Here? How To Know When You’ve Been Iced

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I’m not gonna lie. It feels pretty dark right now. The House Republicans have passed their No Billionaire left Behind Bill, aka Billions for Billionaires Bill. Rural hospitals will close, as people lose their Medicaid health insurance. The ripple effects will be felt in all corners of the country. Spending FEMA money on concentration camps seems like a bad idea, just as hurricane season takes hold. Tent camps in Florida? What could go wrong?

Meanwhile, the only reliable NooZ source is covering the important story of the day.

Of course, Nixon’s Ghost has entered the chat.

Be the Bear
Bob T is trying not to panic Panda

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Story for Yet Another Instance of Bears Behaving Badly (UK Edition)

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When at least a dozen people alert me to a NooZ story about bears AND all the major networks, major noozpapers and Youtube cover the story, you know that either the bears have eaten someone important (don’t get your hopes up), or some bears have done something adorable but naughty!

Young Pookies Mish and Lucy, a brother and sister pair rescued in Albania in 2021, had gone to live at an animal sanctuary in Devon, in the UK. A wild release had been attempted when they were a couple years old, but, ever the smartie bears, Mish and Lucy knew a good thing when they saw it, and refused the offer to “be free bears!”

While all the major NooZ outlets had the story, ONLY ZooNooZ got the interview!

The keepers referred to them as “naughty bears” in one story, and said if they ever see those other bears again, you know, the one with the hat and the other one with the fuzzy dice hooked over his ear, they will shoot them on sight.

“They appear to be a bad influence on our sweet, innocent bears,” said one keeper. “We can’t have them corrupting our young bears with their thieving ways.”

Frank and Mikey were unavailable for comment.

Be the Bear
Bob T I thought we needed a fun story Panda