Tag Archives: Mittens

The RNC Pageant, VP Edition

I bet you think I’m gonna have a little rant….

I think you’re right. I’m doing my best not to immerse myself in the RNC spectacle: the insincere calls for “unity”, the calculated choice of a young, not what you might call qualified, choice for VP. He is certainly no statesman.

What the GOP means by “unity:
That we will not point out the crimes, both convicted and indicted of their chosen candidate.
That we will not say mean things about the far reaching implications and realities of their Project 2025, which is the blueprint to take down the government and the country as we have known it in our lifetime.
That we will not point out the many, many, (many) lies told by their candidate both in and out of office
That we will not keep bringing up that …um…attempted coup when he lost in 2020.
That we will accept their calls for violence while not raising a hand to defend ourselves.

900 pages is a lot to read, and I have not read it. But here is one of the highlights, things that you might not consider would have impact on our day to day lives:
Defunding NOAA: These are the scientists that bring us the weather reports. Besides bringing attention to climate change, those wonderful little weather apps that come free on our phones, the ones that tell us if we need to bring a sweater or maybe put off our trip to the city for a day, because there is a big storm coming in, those are big business. If only those could be privatized…run for profit! You don’t get to know which way the wind blows if you’re not willing to pay for it. Mostly, we think of those weather apps as a nice thing, so we know what to wear or to pack for a trip. But they are a vital tool for weather disaster planning, that saves lives as well as money.

JD Vance is closely tied to Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, and (barf) Tweedledee and Tweedledum. FFF* was leaning toward the rich white guy from North Dakota: a guy who at least looked the part of VP. But Tweedledee and Tweedledum thought young JD was the better pick. That should tell you all you need to know.

Meanwhile, back at the Panda Chronicles

Here’s to not having bad dreams…

*Felon Forty Five

Be the Bear
Bob T is short on funny things to say Panda

It’s Debatable

Oh boy. Here we go. Election Season 2024 is officially off and running. Zoonooz is on the scene once again with a preview of the first debate (not to mention some predictions for the RNC Convention/clusterf**k)

I hope you have your snacks, some strong adult beverages and a protective screen for your TV/computer screen in case something accidentally leaves your hand at great velocity.

Feel free to check in with your observations, in the comments! Wheee!

Vote Early! Vote Often! Vote Pinky!*

*not really

Ready or not, here they come

Be the Bear
Bob T wake me when it’s over Panda

There’s no Fool Like an April Fool

Alas! My regular posting day did not fall on April 1st (aka a typical news day in our post apocalyptic times) but as I like a good joke as much as the next bear, please accept our one day late tribute to April Fool’s Day, and to Bob’s capacity for belief in these troubled times.

Pinky sez: “put mittens in the big house, not the White House!”

Be the Bear!
Bob T well it might have happened Panda

Our Commitment to You, The Viewer

Here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we take our commitment to mental health (ours and yours) very seriously, and while we do feel a need to pontificate about our ongoing political nightmare, we are going to do our best to keep Mittens and his fascist minions off of the ZooNooZ stage.

Unlike certain TV networks, we have not offered lucrative contracts for Mittens apologists to spread their nonsense on our ‘toon waves.

We are, we should add, powerless to keep Pinky off ZooNooZ.

For reference, a Scaramucci= 11 days.

Be the Bear
Bob T has not been fired by NBC Panda

This is Not Nam, Man…There are RULES!

Can you tell I just watched The Big Lebowski again?

As we go to press here, TFG is hopefully getting schooled by the 2nd Circuit, on the facts and the laws, which he is not above. As more than one person has mentioned, if the president is above the law, what is to stop our current Commander in Chief from throwing tfg’s ass in jail and declaring HIMSELF dictator for life?

We have assembled the best legal minds available to appear on ZooNooZ (Barbara McQuade was not available) to discuss why Mittens cannot use The Pinky Defense.

You would think it would be self evident.

A brief note about the weather: I am setting this up on Monday, to be posted on Tuesday, just in time for the 2nd circuit to laugh in TFG’s face. Really, the fact that I even know what the 2nd Circuit is, grieves me no end. What happened to my apolitical, apathetic existence? It’s been RUINED!!! That’s what! I never wanted to be informed about political stuff!

Anyway…where was I? oh yeah. Weather. We are supposed to start getting some serious wind in a couple hours, which means there is a good possibility we will lose electric power. I’ve been charging what can be recharged, putting fresh batteries in flashlights, and organizing ice packs for the freezer and food to go in the cooler on my porch. If I don’t open the freezer or fridge, it can go for at least 2 days, maybe 3 if we have a long outage.

Wish me luck!

Till the lights come back on,
Be the bear!
Bob T can I use the Pinky Defense Panda

Nixon’s Ghost Has Indictment Envy

I mean, who wouldn’t? What with the potential of Georgia election interference and possible RICO charges landing on the sculptured fluff of TFG’s head, is it any surprise that Nixon’s Ghost has made yet another appearance?

Honestly, it is a mystery to me on how we are going to get out of this mess. Naively, I thought when Mittens lost in 2020, he would blow off some steam and then fade into oblivion. Hoo boy! What the hell have I been smoking? Nothing, that’s what. I’m not sure how I am going to survive this next two years. Pass the cake!

Birthday week is coming up for Pinky, Bubba, and Bikkie! I have not figured out what I will do to celebrate, but I might run some of my favorite ‘toons of the early birthday seasons of the three younger DC cubbies over at my Substack installation.

Be the Bear
Bob T we will get through this somehow Panda

Indictment Week Continues!

A joyous Arraignment Day for all who observe…

Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we?

I could go on and on, and I’m sure I will at some point, but I wanted to get this out to you without further ado. Tongue in cheek merriment aside, this is a sad day for our history, to realize how close we actually came to descending into fascism. I’m thinking about how glad I am to have all of you here with me, on this wild and terrifying ride.

Be the Bear,
Bob T Democracy is worth saving Panda

It’s Hot! Hot! Hot! Indictment Summer!

We’ve been waiting such a long time already!

Not that we would cheapen this event with tasteless revelry or anything like that. I hope we will be forgiven for looking towards this with some degree of anticipation.

Panda commerce note: I’m getting ready to make my original paintings from the book The Panda Cub Swap, (written by Beth Bacon and illustrated by me) available for sale. If you have a favorite painting from the book, please feel free to contact me via the contact us page/form and let me know.

Also, Amazon is raising printing prices as of June 20th this year, and I will need to raise prices so I get the same pittance I already get. So, if you were thinking about acquiring the Panda Chronicles library (10 Books! ) now would be a really good time! The latest book is the definitive look at the political cluster**k of the last 6 years! The only way to consider those times is with pandas!

Keep Being the Bear!
Bob T I know nothing about any duckies at Woodland Park Zoo Panda

The Entire Cast of YBOP Republican Characters Have Been Replaced With Spineless Jellyfish

I mean…it was bound to happen!

Will we change Mittens to a jellyfish? Hmmm…I think he needs to be something more dangerous. Maybe he will just be represented by a flaming dumpster. What do you think? After all, Gary Trudeau never actually drew W in his ‘toons…

Be the Bear
Bob T is mulling things over Panda

Did you remember to head over to Substack for the last installments of The Wizard of Wu and the complete A Halloween Carol! What are you waiting for?

Who could ever foreseen this revelation at the January 6th hearing today?*

*Everyone

When I wrote this ‘toon last week, I had no idea that today’s hearing was coming.

Go figure.

In the words of Garry Trudeau…”GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!”

“New sh*t has come to light”
~the Dude

Be the Bear
Bob T Panda