Category Archives: Bob for President

Make Pandas Funny Again

Just a reminder to everyone, that today is election day in the US. Everyone who hasn’t already voted by mail, or voted in early voting, should be heading out to the polls soon.

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!!!

Have I made myself clear? Let’s not have a repeat of this:

day after

Remember the song “The Eve of Destruction”? That’s what today feels like.

We shall overcome
Bob T Panda

Blinded by the Fluff

We are not quite done with the incident from the debate between Bob, Pinky, and Mittens. Stuff happened! Names were called! Poofing was done! Someone must be responsible!

Um...I had some fluff in my eyes....

Um…I had some fluff in my eyes….

Because I only post 2 new ‘toons a week (I do have a few other responsibilities, you know) sometimes events in the real world don’t quite line up with Panda Chronicle time here, so even though the Meihems have already had their birthday party, it will be happening here, next week or so. We have promised Pinky and Bubba that their birthdays will be celebrated in “real time.” Would you mess with a panda who has a magical wand? I didn’t think so!

Meanwhile, Pinky has a few other shenanigans up her sleeve, before her birthday extravaganza/ Cake Party Convention. Stay tuned!

Be the Bear!

The End of the Crisis

Ha ha, not the end of THAT crisis! You know… The 2016 election season. Yup…that’s still happening, much to our dismay. No, the end of the crisis to which we refer, is the disappearance of the Canadian Twinkies. But they have headed for home, and Mom Er Shun is whipping up a large batch of bootine, that Canadian delicacy that is the favorite of Canadian pandas everywhere. Um…all four of them.

Are you SURE you wouldn't like to vote for Bob?

Are you SURE you wouldn’t like to vote for Bob?

A couple of faithful readers told me that they did not get friday’s post in their email this week. I don’t think I got it either, so I went into the behind the curtains scene, and pushed a few buttons randomly, reinstalled this and that, and just general flapped around seeing if I could figure out why it was doing this (or more like not doing this) So, I have no idea if I fixed anything or made it worse. So, if you are an email subscriber, feel free to make a comment and let me know if the post today shows up in your email inbox. It could be an evil plot by Pinky, to keep me from campaigning against her, or it could be a break in the space time continuum.

Work continues behind the scenes on The Case of the Picturesque Panda. I hope to be ready to send out to publishers by the end of the summer. I’ve started on the revisions I need to do before I can start on the final art, and am hoping to get all that approved by the beginning of June. Stay tuned!

Well, till then,
Be the Bear
Why Not Vote 4 Bob?
Bob T Panda

 

Bob gets an Agent

Yes indeed, it’s true! The official announcement came out today, and I am now represented by Gordon Warnock of Fuse Literary Agency. So it only seems fair that Bob gets an agent too. Several people have suggested that Pinky will try to use this to her advantage, and that I might want to drop out of the presidential race and take a cabinet position. We shall see, we shall see.

So what does this mean for panda satire? It means that my graphic novel, The Pandyland Mysteries: The Case of the Picturesque Panda will get a professional eye and guidance. Actually it has been getting a lot of that for the last six months as Gordon acted as my mentor through the SCBWI program that I have mentioned before. It means that I won’t rush into publishing it before it is ready. I have lots of work to do before we start submitting it to publishers, but I am very excited about this book. Yeah, we’re going to have to wait for it, but I think it will be worth it.

Meanwhile, Bob is ready to give Mehitabel the news, and Pinky…well…she’s just being Pinky, isn’t she?

Do you smell smoke?

Do you smell smoke?

Next week, Pinky continues with her cubpaign to gather new minions from our neighbors to the north! Will Pinky succeed in getting the Toronto twinkles to campaign for her? Tune in next week and find out the latest Panda News!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Pandas Go Viral Part 2

The other day on Fezbook, Pinky’s Secretary for Saying Nice Things About Pinky reprimanded me for saying that it shouldn’t always be all about Pinky. Sigh. Is this fair? I mean the election is more than a year away and she already has been appointing cabinet members? I mean, who ever heard of that cabinet post? and Secretary of Interior Decorating! Is that really a thing?

Meanwhile, I am trying to reach my political consultants who are not answering their mePhones. Where is MY campaign video? I need it so that my campaign can go viral, for crying out loud.

It's just not FAIR!

It’s just not FAIR!

Meanwhile, in the world of real pandas, the newest panda at the National Zoo in Washington DC has turned 3 weeks old! He’s getting fat and sassy, and I’m pretty sure he is going to make his debut here very soon.

Keep being the bear!
Bob T. Panda

Satire vs Direct Quotes

A recent commenter to this blog reminded me of something satirical folk singer Tom Paxton once said. “Some people you don’t have to satirize, you just quote ’em.”  ’nuff said.

There is something very funny going on here...

There is something very funny going on here…

Normally, I would give these lines to one of the feline candidates, but we haven’t gotten there yet.

On another disturbing note, I think “someone” has hacked into my computer. My normal graphic header for all my cartoons has been altered, and for some reason, I am unable to remove the overlay of text. I suspect Pinky is somehow involved in this. I better call her mother and see if she is monitoring Pinky’s computer usage.

Vote Pinky, Vote often!. Hey! that’s not what I meant to say! Stop that Pinky!

Meanwhile, my colleague in cuppycakes, Vicky Vladic,  has a great post about the sneezing baby panda video, not to mention full length movie over at her blog V Something Speaks. Go check it out! You will be rewarded by a yummy cuppycake recipe!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

But First, a Word From Reality

We all love pandas. And we all love panda satire. (okay, I’m stretching the point a little, but just be patient with me.) So if you are here, and reading this blog, I think we can agree that we have at least one thing in common. Pandas.

But now, let’s have a word from reality…

I’m guessing that we all have differing opinions on some things and that’s okay. Every once in a while, I make someone mad because I put words in my pandas’ mouths that disagree with what the reader believes and that’s okay too.

Today, the Supreme Court agreed that any two people in this country can get married and that their marriage will be recognized throughout the country.  I think that’s marvelous. I myself have no intention of getting married, but that has been my right to get married or not for my whole life. I have friends and family who this has not been their good fortune, to have this as their decision to do or not. But now they have that right and I say huzzah!

The cynic in me says that as the years and decades go by, same sex couples will discover the rights of divorce, child custody and community property, but perhaps that’s as it should be. Why should heterosexual couples have all the fun?

The pandas  have nothing to say about this, at least not yet. The general atmosphere in the pandy kindy is one of celebrations. After all, it’s really hard to tell what sex pandas are, let alone whether they are the same sex or not.

This political season promises to be an even more acrimonious one than those that preceded it. I will do my best to only make fun of the things that people actually say and do, and so far it seems like this is going to be a bonanza year for satire. If I make something up, I will try to make sure that it is rooted in reality, and not just me saying something nasty about someone whose politics I disagree with.

Okay. enough of this serious crap. Let’s have fun with pandas! Vote Pinky 2016!

Vote for Pinky. Do YOU want to explain why you didn't?

Vote for Pinky. Do YOU want to explain why you didn’t?

Bring on the clown car!

Bring on the clown car!

BTW, you can show your support for Pinky by buying Vote  Pinky merchandise at my pandyland store. Huzzah!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

 

Bob Finally Concedes the Election…

We know, we know…the election has been over for months, but we were…um…busy, and besides, Babette de Panda insisted that the panda kindergarten be allowed to recount ALL the votes by..er..paw.  Needless to say, votes were eaten, tummies needed to be um..waited on for “evacuation,”  cuppycakes needed to be consumed. Sigh… nothing is ever easy around here.  Meanwhile, Babette wants to know just what she is meant to do with all those conservative “first girlfriend outfits” that she bought (with Bob’s credit card) for her new role as our nation’s hostess du jour.

Well, three votes isn't too bad, is it?

Well, three votes isn’t too bad, is it?

And from the tooting-our-own-horn department, it has come to my attention that there is a photo circulating around the internet that shows a congressperson with NASCAR-type stickers all over his suit.  I’d like to point out that the original cartoon suggesting this came out a week ago, right here on The Panda Chronicles, so once again, Bob and all the pandas here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire have predicted humor trends once again.

In other Panda News, Young Master Wu, our nation’s youngest (and some might say cutest) panda is about to make his public debut at the San Diego Zoo tomorrow. We are sending the panda kindergarten to report on the story, so don’t forget to tune in next week to see their in-depth coverage of this event! I do hope they don’t get into any trouble!

Be the Bear!

Bob T. what-was-that-about-my-credit-card Panda

ooo ooo ooo!

I am about to reach 18,000 visits to The Panda Chronicles!  Huzzah!

bob for pres

Vote the Panda Party!

A vote for pandas is a vote for cuppycakes!

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

Bob Throws His Bamboo into the Ring

bob for pres

Vote the Panda Party!

It had to happen.  Even with the trials and tribulations of controlling  (HA!) the panda kindergarten, Bob feels that he has no choice but to declare his candidacy  for President.  Of course, there are many questions to be answered.  Does he have to declare zoo panda rental fees in his financial disclosures?  Will Babette be his “first lady”?  Will the panda kindergarten obtain positions in his cabinet?  And what about his birth certificate from the San Diego Zoo?

You can declare your support for a panda in the White House (the first since the Nixon Pandas took up residence there in 1972) by acquiring a Bob T. Panda for President bumper sticker from www.cafepress.com/pandyland

Now, a portion of our meager profits will be donated to Pandas International (no, really, you can ask them!) to support real, actual pandas!  After all, our cartoon ceases to be funny if pandas go extinct!  So, you can skin 2 cats with one purchase, aiding real pandas and declaring your fed-up-ed-ness with politics as usual.  Buy stuff with pandas at Cafe Press Pandyland.  Pandas everywhere will appreciate it.

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda