Tag Archives: zoonooz

The “Best” of Mittens…

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Whew! I needed that.

As we know, there is nothing “Be best” about Mittens. As one of the panda faithful on #PandaTwitter said, “We need you to keep making fun of Mittens so that we can keep our sanity.*”

*Or something like that.

So let’s climb into the wayback machine and revisit some of our ‘toons that reveal just what kind of cat Mittens is. (spoiler: he’s a bad cat)

It is too much to BEAR!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

“You are all Losers!” – Mittens the Cat

Pinky is beginning to look positively presidential!

“This is not a loser tail!!!!!”

Poof!

And so it began…

March

Whats a protest without pandas?

happening

Are all these paper clips mine?

Memorial day

Don’t be endangered, be dangerous

Clear as mud!

Things are about as real as they can get.

Well, that’s about all of Mittens we can stand this week. Tune in next Sunday for more of Mittens’ crimes against humanity! Remember, laughing is a great form of resistance. If we quit laughing, the reign of terror has won. Don’t let him win and vote the bums out in November!

Keep panda-ing on!
Bob T Panda

Bears will be Bears!

Due to some operator error (some might say incompetence!) the post I set up for today has disappeared! I was having some site issues that I hope are resolved now, so BEAR with me (ha ha! Get it?) while I reconstruct (or try to)…

A Sunday Salute to BEARS! (and cuppycakes)

another cartoon inspired by real news!

Thanks again to Henry Nicholls for alerting me to this story

girl power

Will there be cuppycakes?

feel

Not even CUPPYCAKES????

31 days

Oh come on…hasn’t that ever happened to you? One minute there are two dozen cuppycakes just sitting there, and the next minute they’re gone?

I like bears.

The worst thing is the bears always reset the radio preset buttons and change the seat position!

So, Mikey…how was the Grand Ol’ Opry?

Those grizzlies are awfully sneaky!

It wasn’t us!!!!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

Who’s ready for TIGERS????

We have many animal friends here besides pandas and (some) cats: koalas (Kevin) grizzly bears (Frank and Mikey), elephants, and even groundhog Punxatawney Phil made an appearance, but once in a while…

There will be TIGERS!

You all remember that story a month or so ago, when the Bronx Zoo reported that several of their tigers tested positive for COVID19, right?

Of course, ZooNooZ got the scoop!

I’ve been waiting for weeks to use this joke…

Panda Commerce Update!

I just posted some new designs over at my Panda Chronicle Shop on Redbubble, and you might want to check them out. Eventually I hope to add these designs to fabric over at another artist “products on demand” site for textiles and linens, but for now, they are available on several products at Redbubble.

BTW, some people asked if I would be making Pinky masks and I probably mumbled something noncommittal, BUT, the folks at Redbubble must have been getting lots of questions about this, because they gave the artists a heads up so we could set up some masks with our designs so when they launch, they’ll all be ready to go!

UPDATE!!! Masks have LAUNCHED! Just head over to my home page at Redbubble, look for the design you like and see if there is a mask available. It didn’t work for every design, but there are masks with all the following designs, as well as some with larger images of Pinky, Bubba, Bee, and Mr. Wu!

Meanwhile, feast your eyes on these…

Beeeeeeeeeeee!

Bubba, two ways! Don’t call mee boo boo!

Nobody expects the panda kindergarten!

Surely you didn’t think I’d forget Pinky, did you?

I included all four of the designs on socks, as well as the soon to be released masks, as well as several other products in their catalog.

You’re welcome!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

We are ALL Concerned…

WE knew that the Minch McTurtle led Senate would not vote to remove HWMNBN, even though all the evidence pointed its tiny fingers at him. For me, this unwillingness to look reality squarely in the face and do what needed to be done, verged on cruelty when certain Senators made statements leading one to think that maybe they were on the fence, and could be persuaded to do the right thing.

And now…and now…he is floating the idea that maybe the scientist should look into the idea of using household cleaning disinfectants (“Hey! Everybody has some!”) and strong UV light to “disinfect the body” For the record, this is a bad idea that will kill you, or at the very least make you wish you were dead. And then he gave another press conference to say he was “being sarcastic”.

But at least we got to see Brad Pitt play Dr. Fauci on SNL

And now, without further much ado about the end of civilization (which is not nothing…)

Everyone. Knew.

Washi Tape Has Arrived!

Did I mention Washi Tape has arrived? Check out the Buy Stuff With Pandas page to see how to order it!

Here is a picture of the actual tape!

Panda ON!
Bob T Panda

What Day is it, Anyway

You might think that someone who has worked in her home studio for over 30 years would be able to remember what day it is, but I am having a hard time with that. Yes, I work in my studio every day, but there are regular activities that I engage in, and as most of those aren’t happening, it gets kind of hard to figure out what day it is.

Fortunately, the Whidbey Island Organic Farm School has started up  production, even if their students are not able to be there yet. If you are on Whidbey Island, you’ll know we have a wealth of small organic farms growing wonderful food. Since the farmers markets won’t be opening any time soon, if at all, sales opportunities (i.e. how they actually make enough money to keep going) are extremely limited. If you can, check with your favorite farmer where ever you live, and see if you can get a CSA share. It will keep the farmers working, and you’ll get fresh vegetables that actually taste like something, other than vaguely green.

And now, let’s have some Pandas! One can only eat so much healthy food! Bring on the cuppycakes!

Keeping you safe from evil cuppycakes….

yoga for pandas

All salute the sacred cuppycake!

What makes a panda run? Cuppycakes, of course!!!!

Legalize cake today! Prevent illicit cuppycake activities.

inspector panda and cuppycake pushers

Inspector Panda says, “Know the signs of cuppycake dependency”

pandas in the laboratory

Can you calibrate the cuppycake?

I have extra frosting!

If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.

Gimmee!

Washi Tape Has Arrived!!!!

I have about 45 more sets of Washi Tape available at $20 for a set of 4 rolls of 4 different designs. If you have a pending felty panda order (Either through Kickstarter or from this website) and would like to add a set, I can add them to your order with no additional shipping costs. See the Buy Stuff with Pandas page for ordering information. If you are trying to figure out what Washi Tape is and what you can do with it, this site is a good place to start!

Here is a picture of the actual tape! Tape is about 1.25″ wide and a roll is 10 meters of tape.

Wands up, everyone! It’s getting pretty scary out there.

Panda On!
Bob T panda

If You Go Out in the Woods Today…

Yes, it’s everyone’s favorite grizzly bears, Frank and Mikey, with some timely advice about keeping a safe social distance even when you are out getting some fresh air! For those of us who have a little more outdoor space of our own, getting outside is much easier than those who live in more urban environments. I know a lot of people who live nearby to the Smithsonian National Zoo in DC (aka the Pinksonian) who use that as a place to get their daily outdoor exercise. But now that it is closed to the public, those folks will have to venture farther afield to get some fresh air.

Fortunately, Frank and Mikey have some EXCELLENT advice for hikers!

You can always count on Frank and Mikey for the best advice about bears!

A reminder: Picnic Time for Grizzly Bears is an excellent song to sing to time your hand washing!

Picnic time for grizzly bears,
The little grizzly bears are having a wonderful time today,
Catch those hikers unawares
As they have their hiking holiday!
Check their packs for cuppycakes,
if we have cuppycakes you’ll never have any cares!
We’ll lick the frosting off our paws as we go home to bed
Because we’re tired little grizzly bears!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

 

There Will Be Tigers

Disturbing news…I mean NooZ… came from the Bronx Zoo this week, when it was discovered that at least one of the tigers and several lions had contracted COVID-19, probably from one of the keepers who was asymptomatic. (This is a correction from earlier when I said it was the Woodland Park Zoo with the plague-ridden tigers. I think I confused a news story I read later, because the WPZ was checking their big cats for COVID 19 infections after the Bronx Zoo news.) This has troubling implications, for owners…I mean servants of domestic cats. It is unknown whether it could be passed back and forth from you to your cat, so you might want to wash your hands after playing with Mr. Kitty and refrain from kissing your cat on the lips. I don’t know anyone who might have done this. 🙄

While we wait for the Woodland Park Zoo tiger to have his interview on ZooNooZ, I’ve assembled some of the previous appearances of tigers here at The Panda Chronicles. But first, I wanted to share a video sent to me by a friend of panda satire!

We have had all too much disturbing news, and more comes across our screens every day. All too often I find myself riding the downward spiral into despair that life will ever return to normal. Every trip to Twitter-land reveals heartrending stories of love and loss, but also uplifting stories of hope and kindness. While I will never quit poking at injustice and moronic anti-leadership, I want to make sure what we roll with is not all rant! Pandas are fun and light and love, after all (just ask the Hong Kong pandas! “What do you MEAN have I seen youtube???”)

So, before we enjoy tiger palooza, I share this video sent to me by one of the friends of the panda kindergarten. Make sure you take note of the socks at the 1:31 and 1:42 time stamps!

And now, let’s get up close and personal with tigers!

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

You know we’re just kidding about this, right?

I really had no idea what she was up to.

I think we need some more encore presentations of Pinky’s last run for the White House, don’t you?

There were no tigers involved in this plan, so it must be okay, right?

Aren’t you already in enough trouble, Pinky?

Pinky enlists her brother's help in her scheme

“Just run along and put these brochures where people will see them!”

You knew Mommee was going to get angry, didn’t you?

And remember, if we stop laughing, the terrorist has won. Stay safe, stay home, wash your hands (with soap and water, don’t just lick them!) and vote in November!

Panda on!
Wands up, everyone!
Bob T Panda

 

The Rules are not for Us

Do as we say, not as we do. Why does that seem to be the subtext for all that the party currently in charge of the WH does and says? Will the latest examples of unlawful behavior be held to account? Seems kind of doubtful to me. But what do I know? I am only a poor little panda.

But now for the NooZ!

I just can’t even.

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

It’s Sunday *gulp* Funday!

While the news makes it feel more like Sunday, Bloody Sunday instead of Sunday Funday, here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we are dedicated to bringing you fun with pandas!

A quick note: We are ready to start taking orders for more felty pandas! All the information can be found on the Buy Stuff With Pandas page, which you can find right here! You can also order the first group of Panda Chronicle themed Washi tape!

Pinky is a Star (not to mention a icon) and she is ready to be your emotional support panda…well, if you let her be president she will! Wearing her signature tutu and her tiara, Pinky is ready for you to grant her all her wildest dreams. hey! This is Pinky we are talking about. You didn’t think she was here to serve you, did you?

But now, let’s jump into the panda way-back bus and see what encore presentations there are for your Sunday relaxation!

Oh dear….are you going to leave her there?

There must be cake!

Is this any way to treat our Nation’s most adorable icon?

The forces of Meihem are only barely in check.

But at least Pinky didn’t FLUNK CAKE!!!!!

“Oh yeah…dere MIGHT be one or two other pandas in it, but I can’t remember who.”

Never say “no” to Pinky!

And it was ever thus….

Meihem, not Mayhem.

Well, they did hang their coats up.

Introducing Princess Dumpling

Wait a minute…triplets??????

We hope you enjoyed a completely Mittens free Sunday! I sure needed that and I bet you did too! Don’t forget to check out the new line up on the Buy Stuff with Pandas Page!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

Pinky Can NOT be Silenced!!!

You can’t keep a good Pinky down! 

We wisely decided to skip any April Fools Day Tomfoolery, since there is not a whole lot out in the world that is particularly funny. My days continue to be several hours too short. I don’t know where the time goes, while at the same time, time seems endless. The loss of my regular routine leaves me not knowing what day it is. At least I have the great outdoors, where I can indulge in my hobby of moving rocks from one part of the property to another.  (I bet you think I’m joking about that!)

I’m trying to keep all the balls in the air: painting, panda satire, felty panda production. It is all good work, and I have to keep reminding myself is is important that we keep our spirits as high as we can. The tweets and FB mentions of people who are sick, people who have died, people who have lost their jobs, are overwhelming and the only way to keep from being crushed by the volume of misery, is to step to the side and…think about pandas.

So that’s what I’m doing. Taking a step back for an hour or two, so I can keep carrying on.

Keep calm and Panda On!

Stay out of my airspace!

Be the Bear
Bob T Panda