Category Archives: Bears on the Road

They only WANT You to Believe The Pandas Left DC

Well, it COULD have happened this way…

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with the pandas leaving DC. I mean…how do we know that they didn’t double back, go through the secret tunnels Pinky had built, (MX: “WHAT secret tunnels?” Pinky: “um…you must have mis read dat, mommee…”) and are now hanging out in the luxury suite behind the scenes?

I guess we’ll find out soon!

Be the Bear
Bob T I know nothing about any secret tunnels Panda

Our Story Continues…

What could possibly go wrong?

I mean…should we be worried about where the car came from? About what happens when the pass through the tollbooth?

We just don’t know! I’ll be re-reading The Phantom Toll Booth over the weekend to figure out where my version goes next!

This is exciting, isn’t it?

Be the Bear
Bob T I’d never let anything bad happen to Bikkie Panda

A New Adventure for Bikkie and Mister Poppee (and Pookie!)

You asked! Panda Satire Delivers!

Thousands of our fans have asked, “but what about a new adventure for Bikkie and Mister Poppee?” Okay, actually it was only Valerie, but I’m sure she spoke for the multitudes.

I’m not really sure where this is going (although I am beginning to get an idea) but here we go!

Be sure to pop over to my Substack thingie tomorrow to read the second half of Six and Sebben’s naming day story! It’s the really exciting part.

We Now Return to Our Story (Which story was that?…Oh…yeah)

Ever since I discovered that Mei Xiang and Lun Lun were half sisters, it opened up all sorts of story lines in the pandasphere. I know Aunty Mei loves her little nieces to death, bless their hearts!

If, like me, you are avoiding all mention of the debt ceiling hoo haa, there is no better distraction than pandas! Turn on the Panda Cam for the 245 hour a day loop!

Be the Bear
BobT the GQP are morons Panda

May the Fourth Be With You…

…for all who celebrate!

Surrender your pandas!

Sadly, we are destined to be a country without pandas in the next year or two. San Diego’s pandas were sent to China in 2019, and the pandemic, not to mention TFG’s crappy stances on China meant we weren’t going to get a new panda loan agreement any time soon. Noted panda writer Henry Nicholls wrote an opinion piece for CNN about our addiction to domesticated pandas. That might not be quite how he put it, but he does have a point.

Pandas in the wild are different animals, and now it appears there may be some genetic difference between pandas that live in the wild and pandas that grew up on the all you can eat cruise ship model. “Pandas are solitary? Who knew?!!!!” said a group of pandas sitting around the table chowing down on boo shoots while playing Mah Jong.

Any way, now Ya Ya is on her way back to Beijing, alas without Le Le who succumbed to a previously undiagnosed heart ailment.

Could story lines collide soon? I guess we’ll find out.

Stay tuned for further developments!

Be the Bear!
Bob T pass the endless boo buffet Panda

If you haven’t read Henry Nicholls’ The Way of the Panda, you should fix that immediately. It’s a great book about all things pandas, the politics of pandas, and there is a cameo appearance of a ‘toon that was perhaps done by your favorite practitioner of panda satire! My literary claim to fame!

Back to the Bears!

I’m sorry to leave the bears upon in the air, but there has been so much going on! I hope this will fill in a narrative gap or two. (While I figure out what is going to happen next, and take care of a few other things!)

Bears will be bears!

Be the Bear
Bob T bears behaving badly Panda

BTW I have a new rant on Substack this week! Check it out!

Look out DC! There’s a New Bear in Town…

Oh my.
Oh My
OH MY EARS AND WHISKERS!!!!

Oh
My

Be the Bear
Bob T maybe if I hide under the sofa…Panda

This would be a good time to order Book 10 of the Panda Chronicles! Quick, before Josie catches up with me!