Category Archives: Bears Bears Bears!

DO Feed the Bears!

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Once again, one of my faithful readers has come through with a VERY IMPORTANT Nooz story about…

Bears!

Could it be part of a sinister plot, coordinated from afar by Henrietta (or the bear formerly known as Hank), who now lives at a luxury resort for wayward bears? Is there an army of bears going around the towns near Lake Tahoe putting up posters admonishing people NOT to use bear-proof receptacles for their garbage? Maybe leaving a double cheese, double pepperoni pizza on top of the garbage can sometimes?

But seriously, feeding wildlife is a bad idea. Especially bears. Would you want to wake up and have Frank or Mikey looking in your bedroom window, wondering where breakfast was?

In other NooZ, things are heating up in the trials of Mittens. Frank, Bikkie, and Pookie are STILL on their adventure, and I promise I’ll get back to it soon. I’m also doing my Year in Review over on Substack so go check it out!

Till later…be the bear!
Bob T pass the pizza Panda

Thanks and a Roll of Honor mention to my brother for alerting me to this important story!

There’s No Bears Like Holiday Bears!

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Thanks to an especially observant reader, here at Panda Central, we’ve been alerted to another Bear Behaving Badly, HOLIDAY EDITION!

So of course we had to take a time out from out continuing story, to tell the tail!

Not only was this bear behaving badly, I found another instance from a few years ago of another bear behaving like the Grinch! Can’t you just imagine the conversation between the bears?

I can!

Frank: Whoa! look at that deer! He’s YUGE!!!!! I’m gonna take him down!
Mikey: um…I don’t think…
Frank: No! He looked at me in a threatening manner! This will not stand!
Mikey: That’s not a real deer…
Frank: CARABUNGA!!!!TAKE THAT!…oh…um…
Mikey: I TOLD you….
Frank: also, it wasn’t us.

Check it out and see if you can’t hear them talking…

Be the Bear!
Bob T in the holiday spirit Panda

We Now (FINALLY!!!) Return to Our Story

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Somehow, even with the extra time I gave myself, I just finished this this morning. Oh well.

And away we go!

If you missed our recap of the first 5 episodes, they were last week on Tuesday and Thursday! Go read them, quick like a bunny!

See ya soon!

Be the Bear!
Bob T burping Panda

Panda Exodus? Not So Much!

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They just WANT you to believe that the pandas have gone back to China

But we know better, don’t we?

I am going to get back to my other story (The Mister Poppee, Pookie, and Bikkie adventure) sooner or later, but we had to provide some answers about what would happen vis-a-vis the “real world” (as if!) relocation of our pandas to China. I mean, the late Mehitabel is still commanding the NooZ desk at ZooNooZ heading onto 7 years since she departed for other realms, so do you think a little thing like reality is going to dissuade me from pretending the pandas are all still here?

Panda On!
Bob T is delusional Panda

They only WANT You to Believe The Pandas Left DC

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Well, it COULD have happened this way…

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with the pandas leaving DC. I mean…how do we know that they didn’t double back, go through the secret tunnels Pinky had built, (MX: “WHAT secret tunnels?” Pinky: “um…you must have mis read dat, mommee…”) and are now hanging out in the luxury suite behind the scenes?

I guess we’ll find out soon!

Be the Bear
Bob T I know nothing about any secret tunnels Panda

Never Fear, The Pandas Will Be Here

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I bet everyone (in panda fandom) is having a day like I am. It’s like the day after you get dumped. You wake up, slowly open your eyes, then think, “why should I get out of bed….ever.”

But of course you have to get out of bed. You need to go to the bathroom. You need coffee. Your mouth feels like a truck with a bad exhaust problem drove through your mouth and parked there with the engine running for 5 hours.

You think…”pandas might be gone, but I still have The Panda Chronicles, right?…RIGHT????”

Why yes you do.

I mean…Pinky still has to run for president next year right? And those cuppycakes aren’t going to eat themselves. There may be a slight disturbance in the force, and we may have to briefly dip into reality (No! Say it isn’t so!) before we go on our merry way, ignoring reality and keeping all the pandas (and other bears) right where they belong.

Here, in Pandyland.

Panda on,
Bob T be nice to yourself today Panda

PS: Also the Democrats kicked the GQP’s butts in Tuesday’s elections, so there is that too.

Otis (the fuzzy one, anyway) is INNOCENT

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You might have noticed a little radio silence these past couple weeks. I was on a little vacation from the inter webs, as I made my last visit to see our beloved DC panda family. For those of us who live far from DC, the fact that the DC pandas are moving to China is somewhat abstract. I rely on the photos and videos of those who live close by to keep up with all the goings on of Mei Xiang, Tian Tian, and of course, Bikkie.

There have been pandas in DC all of my adult life. I feel lucky to have gotten to see them so many times, even if it is a mere blip of time to those who live within panda proximity. They will be missed mightily. Until we have pandas again, we will have to get by with other bears. I live just far enough away from the Pookies that I don’t get to visit them often, but hope to make another visit or two this fall.

I was inspired by recent news reports to write this ‘toon for Otis, Fat Bear Emeritus of Brooks Falls. No matter what the nooz reports say, Otis is innocent!

The destruction in Acapulco is tragic and terrible, but couldn’t they have found another ‘O’ name for the hurricane?

BTW, in the US, we go back to Daylight losing time, despite the efforts of those who have tried to put us on permanent Daylight Saving Time. Alas…maybe next year. As such, as it is the tradition here at The Panda Chronicles, I rerun my much loved ‘toon:

Fabulous Furry Friday KNOWS that this is one of your favorites!

Be the Bear!
Bob T go see the pandas before it’s too late Panda

As We Wrap Up Our Coverage of Fat Bear Week…

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We call upon our cub reporters, our “Bears in the Know” Frank and Mikey…

Hey…Where is Frank?

By the way, I am re-running the annual Encore Presentation of The Wizard of Wu over at my Substack space! Check it out. The posts will continue through next week so don’t miss any! Installment 2 is here!

I also wrote an amusing little fantasy about the REAL story as regards why Commander was banished from the White House.

Till next time,
Be the Bear!
Bob T I could win the fat bear contest if I really wanted to Panda

Fat Bear Week is Over for Another Year

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The fish breathe a sigh of relief, the bears loosen their belts, start looking for their jammies and teddy bears, and start to think about snuggling up as the days grow short and the air and snow blow through the cracks of their dens.

What do the bears think about all these people hanging on their every snack? About all these well heeled hikers and trekkers that make the difficult and expensive trip to see them in their fat, fuzzy glory?

I bet they think some of them look like pretty good eating, and maybe not as hard to catch as salmon.

Otis may not have won the competition this year, but he’ll always be Number One Bear in my book. Otis Abides.

I expect there will be a bit more commentary here on ZooNooz, from our favorite bears around the Hood, Frank and Mikey. Till then…

Be the Bear
Bob T time for a nap Panda