Why is it that many of our animal tales come from Australia? Is it because they have more things that can kill you? Or maybe they have lots of cute animals, like koalas that would rather bite you than be kootchie-kooed under the chin?
Today’s tail (ha ha see what I did there?) comes from one of our alert readers, Barbara Bee. From the picture shared, it appears that Australian possums are much cuter than American ones.
Oh, possum, I identify with you!
I mean….who wouldn’t want to eat so many pastries you passed out? No? Just me?
Be the Bear Bob T sorry we were late today…not that kind of “late” Panda
Everyone who’s anyone is in on the absolutely if we told you, we’d have to kill you top secret chats coming out of the defense department these days.
I guess they haven’t noticed, SECRET is right in the name SECRETARY, huh?
Fortunately, Frank and Mikey are on the job!
Stuff is getting scary out there. I’m glad Frank and Mikey are on our side.
In other nooz, if we didn’t mention it already, Princess Pinky Junior has arrived in Vienna, to wow the crowds and make her play for world domination, Princess Panda style! Stay tuned!
Hey! Guess what today is? It’s the Ides of April, of course. The day you might be paying your taxes or filing an extension. Of course, since E-loon and his goons have fired a few thousand of the people who work at the IRS, who knows what will happen with your return.
And then there is the whole “yes there are tariffs, no, there are no tariffs…oh wait…just kidding! Let’s make penguins pay tariffs.”
Did someone say Penguins?
Frank and Mikey get in on the action!
And a little tribute to tax days past…
The only sure things are Pandas and taxes.
The nooz is so bad I can’t make fun of it right now…well, other than the penguin thing. I hope you are doing okay and hanging in there.
There hardly seems like there could be an April Fool’s Day joke that would reach the absurdity of everything we are currently living through, but here we are. Alas, the weekend got away from me again (too many naps, too much cake…you know how that goes) so once again, I must dip into the archives for your entertainment today.
One little point of discussion after last week’s ‘toon, starring Frank and Mikey, with a discussion of some vital NooZ. It was pointed out to me that the story they told was NOT A REAL STORY! and I have some thoughts about that. First I made several references to Andy Borowitz, a well known writer of satire, who…um…broke this story. Secondly, have you learned NOTHING over the time since Frank and Mikey made their way onto the scene? When have they EVER said anything that is true? I mean…if Mehitabel had introduced the story, there is a 80%-20% chance that the story would be true, but as Frank and Mikey are the bearsonification of unreliable narrators, one would be well advised to never believe anything they say. Just ask Josie!
Meanwhile, back at the zoo…
A recent (real) NooZ story that Elmer’s incels are turning their attention to The Smithsonian and THE ZOO to root out fraud and “improper ideology“… I felt moved to redo a little of the dialog from this classic from Pinky’s first campaign to be presydent…
IMPROPER IDEOLOGY my ass! I mean…Pinky isn’t even there anymore!
It really fits, doesn’t it? Now…on with a little Panda Foolery…
I am only making some of this up“It was dark….there were men in masks….”No nonsense to be found here! See how important the Smithsonian is?This was way too much fun. :o)Do you smell smoke?
I don’t know that you can ever believe Frank and Mikey when they say it wasn’t them, but on the other hand, given what the DOGE bros are doing to eff up the government, could you blame them if it WAS them?
Just a thought…
Anyway, here we are again, watching the nooz in horror as the DUI hires in the NatSec segment think it’s a good idea to use an insecure app to have their little chat because it wouldn’t be subject to FOIA requests, and that would outlay national security. More on this next week.
Anyway…here be bears!
Don’t mess with bears!
BE the Bear Bob T better to eat than be eaten Panda
I thought we needed a bit of fun NooZ today (because, ya know, so much else completely sucks right now). Fortunately I can always count on my friends to keep an eye on the NooZ and alert me to really important stories. We originally covered this one a while back in 2021…
Indeed, it turned out that when separated, the parrots who swear taught other birds their salty repartee, so the keepers at Lincolnshire Wildlife Sanctuary decided to put them back together, and at least contain the foul language. They discovered, though, that the swearing parrots were a marketing goldmine, and attendance at the sanctuary is up!
Who knew?
It’s not like we don’t have a lot to swear about, right?
Be the Bear Bob T swearing is good for you Panda
Thanx to Barbara Bee for alerting me to this important update to our earlier report!
I can’t lie. It’s getting really scary out there. TR-usk are doing their best to wreck everything that makes our country work. Beyond showing up for protests and writing & calling our Congressional reps, I’m not sure what else we can do. But as long as I have ink and paper, and the internet and the electrical grid to get these ‘toons out to you, I’ll do what I do best: making fun of those evil DOUCHE dogs in ‘toons.
If only bears could really talk!
Did those bears….pants those guys?
Be the Bear Bob T says always choose the bear Panda
