Category Archives: Pandas for President!

It’s a Beautiful Tail!

You knew it would come to this. Following the scripts of the various debates that we have been bludgeoned with, politicians trading insults…Liars lying about previous lies, BEARS BEHAVING BADLY!!!!! Is this the panda kindergarten? A Beautiful Tail? Looks a little short to me.

“This is not a loser tail!!!!!”

Are Bob and Pinky reaching a new consensus? Could Bob be inspired to concede and get behind Pinky’s candidacy? Stay tuned! anything can happen where pandas are involved.

Daddy Panda News for Father’s Day

Meanwhile among real pandas and the people who love them, we have just learned sad news from San Diego Zoo. The rock star, stud muffin wild guy panda with one short ear and extra furry feet, father of five fabulous cubbies here at SDZ, Gao Gao, has been diagnosed with a very bad heart condition. They think he is around 26. Being wild born, they don’t know his exact age. He has been in somewhat compromised health for a few years now and they have been monitoring his heart condition carefully. We don’t know how long he has left, but I can assure you that the veterinary staff at SDZ is doing everything they can do for him.

Gao Gao has an interesting story of how he came to live at the San Diego Zoo. As a two year old, he was found injured and brought to one of the panda research centers to be treated. After he healed, he was released. But finding that being fed and waited upon was far superior to having to fight for territory and scarce resources, he returned to the center and asked to be readmitted. Eventually, he went to live in San Diego with the Beautiful Bai Yun and together they had five cubs, the last of which is Xiao Liwu, known to his friends and fans as Mr. Wu.

A panda fun fact about Gao Gao is that he has one short ear, most likely the result of a fight when he was a wild cub fending for himself. It is the reason my cartoon version of Mr. Wu always has his left ear taped down! It is a tribute to his dad!

I know many people who have not been to a zoo in over 30 years have an antiquated and unfortunate preconception about zoos. yes, there are still some of those horrible zoos with too small cages and depressed animals, but most zoos in North America, Japan, and Europe have taken huge strides in providing comfort and engagement for their animals, and San Diego Zoo is one of the best. Yes, it would be wonderful if panda’s traditional roaming areas were still intact, but the virgin forested areas where they once roamed are reduced to a tiny percentage of what they once were. But the pandas that live in these well staffed and well appointed zoos live the life of Riley (whoever he is) and generally live 10 to 15 years longer than their wild counterparts.

Happy Fathers Day to those who celebrate their relationship with their dads as something wonderful and nurturing. and for those who don’t…well…go have a cuppycake or two and think about someone who loved you.

Be the Bear
Bob T. panda

Can He Say That?

25 Replies

Oh my ears and whiskers! The world continues to prove it’s madness. We weep for the recent events, which apparently are the 133rd such event this year, only distinguished by being the worst shooting in US history. Can he say that? Can he have really have said what he said after this week’s tragedy? Are we all just tragic figures, stumbling towards the exits in the dark, smoke filled room, hoping not to get caught in the crossfire??

Oh heck. Let’s just watch some panda videos.
Pandas are LOVE
Mittens…not so much.

Pinky is beginning to look positively presidential!

Meanwhile, back at the (panda) ranch, I have received several communications, one form the Toronto Twinkies, and more recently from the Meihems. All are concerned that perhaps Pinky is not a good role model for the Toronto cubbies. Fortunately, the Meihems have offered to mentor the Toronto Duo, after all, they know a lot about being twins! I think we need some kinder, pandy-ish story lines here, to compensate for the horrors of the real world.

Be the Bear, and let’s stay sane out there, okay?
Bob T Panda

Here Comes Mittens

31 Replies

Oh yeah. Mittens the Cat is back and as I previously might have mentioned, once or twice, it is really hard to make stuff up when the stuff you read on the news is already so absurd. As the Nihilists said in The Big Leibowski, “It’s just not fair!” Oh, yeah, here comes Mittens the Cat!

The disappearance of Mr. Bun has taken a back seat to the debate between Princess Pinky, Bob T. Panda, and Mittens the Cat. Tell me when it’s all over…I don’t think I can bear to watch!

“You are all Losers!” – Mittens the Cat

What’s that you say? Mittens bears some resemblance to one of this year’s Presidential candidates? Imagine that! well, if all of this year’s political shenanigans has got you down, get yourself a beer, some cuppycakes, and sit a spell and watch this video by my pal Doxiemom made of Bubba and his mom! I hear panda videos are very relaxing and we are going to need all the relaxing we can get this summer and fall!

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Sharing is caring! Share this post with all your friends!

It’s Going to Get Worse Before it Gets Better

12 Replies

I apologize to you all in advance, in case the current run of ‘toons traumatizes you. But with art as well as in politics, it sometimes gets worse before it gets better. In my work to reintroduce Mittens the Cat (with a whole new fur-do) I am finding that I can’t make up anything more absurd or horrifying than what I hear on the radio or read online.

So in the words of someone or another, sometimes writing satire is just quoting the news. Tom Leher, maybe?

Be very afraid. Bob is…..

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

But before we bring Mittens on, there is the little matter of Mr. Bun. He seems to be…um…missing. Dis. Will. Not. Stand. Hmmm…we seem to be saying that a lot.
Be sure to tune in on Wednesday to see what’s up with Mr. Bun.

Be the Bear
Bob T Panda

Note: I just got word from the folks at WordPress that my site was down for 7 minutes this morning, but now it is back on track. Either it was Pinky trying to hijack my site, or Mittens the Cat got word that we were going to be revealing his evil plans and new fur-do. Be very afraid.

Fabulous Furry Friday presents…

8 Replies

The best of Mittens the Cat! When we found out that Mittens was entering the race for president, we shook our collective heads in dismay. Hasn’t this election cycle gotten crazy enough? Fabulous Furry Friday presents: The Best of Mittens!

This. Will. Not. Stand!!!!

Ha ha! Of course it will. One thing we must remember, during this excruciating election season, and that is we need as much funny as possible, and all the better if we can make thinly veiled references (or maybe not so thinly veiled) about various political candidates. And laugh about it. Even if it’s through our grinding teeth.

For those of you who just recently joined the pandasphere, we bring you some cartoons starring Bob and Mittens from the previous presidential cycle. Pinky wasn’t even born yet, let alone vying for world domination!

Babette has ..um…toned her wardrobe down in honor of this important occasion.

In the words of Winnie ther Pooh, “I think it’s time for a little something.

Cats….you just can’t trust em.

Remember, Mittens has “excellent fur.”

Does being endangered have NO privileges?

Keep cool, cat, and don’t go blaming women for stuff. That is SO not the way to get votes…Endangered Species card? #DealMeIn

Hmmmm…I think that the raw materials to transform Mittens into the personality of one of the current candidates are all there. stay tuned! It’s going to get might pandy around here!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

The Return of Mittens

8 Replies

Remember Mittens the Cat? Bob’s nemesis (or is that nematode?) of the 2012 election? Well, he’s back, and he has a new fur-do as well as a general makeover, to make him look…um…like maybe just the teeny tiniest bit like one of the current crop of political candidates. The return of Mittens will make Pinky look positively …um…reasonable. Is that even possible? I can’t believe I said that!

Stay tuned.

It is too much to BEAR!

Meanwhile, in other cat based humor, my brother sent me a link for what may possible be the most disgusting (but kind of funny) thing I have ever heard of. And before you ask, I will not be supporting their Kickstarter campaign. Some things should just NOT be encouraged.

I hope you stick around for Fabulous Furry Friday, when we will revisit the previous appearances of Mittens the cat. (Not to be confused with Mehitabel.)

See you then!

Be the Bear

Bob T Panda

I Am Not a Crook!

10 Replies

Oh the indignity of it all. To be accused in a note left in a panda’s playpen of all things, accused of unlawfully removing the adorable Canadian panda twins from their playpen and bringing them to MY house! I tell you, I am NOT a crook!

Hmmm…I think I’ve heard that phrase before but I can’t remember where.

Anyway, I know this is one of Pinky’s evil plans to discredit me, so that she can win the presidential race. No matter how badly she behaves, her numbers keep going up in the polls, while mine….um…don’t.

Really…I’m not!

I can bearly bear (ha ha) to listen to the real election coverage anymore. It keeps getting more and more absurd and my pandy sense tells me that we are in for a long hot summer. We are going to need pandas and panda satire more than ever, so when you get tired of reality, be sure to come on by and check in with all the pandas here at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire.You’ll be glad you did.

I recently added a new item to the store at Pandyland! By request of a fan, We now have the Panda Kindergarten Samurai flask. good to quench your thirst in whatever way you think is necessary. I know what I’ll be putting in MY flask to get through the election season, but you can put what ever you’d like in it. Check it out here!

Be the Bear

Pinky and Bob

14 Replies

Okay, politico fans! Today Pinky and Bob go panda-a-pando on the debate stage. I can hardly wait!

But first, I must report on last weekend’s Pandamonium 2016 Panda Convention which took place at the San Diego Zoo. Panda fans from around the world (literally) gathered in San Diego (or as we like to call it: Pandiego) to greet old friends, meet new friends, and most of all, visit the pandas at the SDZ. Mr. Wu was in rare form, eating, sleeping, rushing around wildly (Note to Wu: watch your panda nip intake!) and some of us who indulged in the Early Morning with Pandas tour even got to see Gao Gao, who although getting up in years, still let it be known that he is the bear.

Panda fans came to Pandiego from Singapore, Australia, Canada, and Switzerland. They came from New York, Maine, Pennsylvania, Washington state, Florida, and Arizona, in addition to those from California. In case you are counting along on your fingers, that’s FIVE countries and FOUR continents. And…ahem…they also came to hear yours truly speak about the history (well, my history, anyway) of panda satire and how The Panda Chronicles came to be.

If you had to miss the fun in Pandiego, you can still read the tale of panda satire (with pictures, no less!) by signing up for my mailing list! I will send out the link and secret password to the page: From Pandapiphany to Princess Pinky: Finding my Inner Panda. If you are already on the mailing list, I will be sending out a newsletter next week, and if you aren’t, you’ll have time to sign up for it. This is separate from the regular blog posts, and is the second sign-up box on the upper right column headed: Get Even More Pandas and never fear, you won’t be inundated with daily or even weekly emails. Honest.

Okay…with no further folderol….

Hey! That’s not fair!!!!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

On the Campaign Trail

15 Replies

Editors note: Pinky has been sneaking around (unknown to her sainted mother) out on the campaign trail, and if The Very Bob T. Panda doesn’t get out there, even his three loyal supporters might go looking elsewhere with their votes.

I have not said much about the actual campaign atrocities that have been going on out there. It makes me too worried for our future so instead, I am concentrating on Bob and Pinky’s shenanigans. Much better for my blood pressure, and besides, Andy Borowitz does a much better job than I ever could (and he even snuck in a picture of Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau with a couple of pandas!)

But now, it’s time for things to get going panda-a-pando over at the Panda Chronicles debate headquarters.

“I thought I had until November.” -Bob T Panda

Pinky is ready to get down and get dirty.
Are you?

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday

8 Replies

This week, Fabulous Furry Friday looks at…(you know we had to do this, didn’t you?) The 2016 Election Season. Well, actually, it’s more like the 2012 election season that we are looking back on, since a certain candidate, who we will refer to as He Who Must Not Be Named, (or HWMNBN) was throwing verbal rocks at the previous failed Republican presidential candidate, calling him a loser and disgrace.

Now, I am no fan of the former Republican candidate, but he deserves respect, particularly from someone who wants to hold the office under consideration. (So does our current President, if you want my opinion.) Can’t we play nice, please? Pretty panda please?

Is it really all black and white?

Cats….you just can’t trust em. Remember Mittens?

Keep cool, cat, and don’t go blaming women for stuff. That is SO not the way to get votes…

And if debating with Mittens wasn’t bad enough, now Bob is facing Pinky in the primary fight of his life. The soul of the Panda Party is at stake!

What could Pinky be up to…?

Don’t mess with Pinky.

…and I real have to talk with my media team, because I don’t have a video yet, and Pinky’s has been shown all over the world!

Be the Bear and have a fabulous weekend!
Bob T Panda