Tag Archives: zoonooz

Pandas: Masters of the Pregnant Paws

**Please note: In Friday’s post, I messed up Mehitabel’s story links on Cat Stories, but now it is fixed. You can read her story here. Or maybe the panda kindergarten is responsible for this misdeed.

The proliferation of phony panda pregnancy plots are prancing through the panda sphere. Oh PPPah! we proclaim! These punctilious pundits are profoundly proficient in propelling poppycock pertaining to prevaricating perfidious pandas. Phooey!

Gosh, that was fun!

Everyone who knows anything about pandas, knows that not only is it notoriously difficult to get a captive panda pregnant, but also that once the deed has been done, it is impossible to tell if they actually are pregnant until the little bundle (or bundles) of joy appear. There is much real information on pseudo-pregnancy in pandas, should they care to look for it.

Of course, these journalistic faux paws make excellent fodder for panda satire, and so, we thank you for your idiotic news story. One small misstep for man, one giant leap for panda satire.

Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Pandamorphosis is now out on iBooks and Kindle! Huzzah! You can check it out right from here! Progress is being made on Book 5 of The Panda Chronicles as is the work to make the previous books available for your Kindles, etc. Whee! Who says pandas are Luddites?

Happy Labor day to those pandanistas in the US, and to everyone else, it’s back to work with you! Tomorrow is just plain old Monday!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda.

What a Fabulous Furry Friday It Is…

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Today, Fabulous Furry Friday brings you more Great Moments in History! Today is the 40th anniversary of Richard M. Nixon’s resignation from the presidency, as a result of, well, some really bad stuff he did. But as much as we might like to think otherwise, we do have a few things for which to thank old Tricky Dick , the most important being….

Hello? Pandas?????

The first “official” pandas that came to live permanently in the USofA

And while we are talking pandas and politics, a faithful reader and supporter sent me a link to this story of a NY Congressional representative who is going trolling for pandas (and perhaps votes?) on the extremely long recess that Congress is now on. Feast your eyes on this editorial on the NYC-Panda question.

And then, of course, the first men walked on the moon during Nixon’s first (and only completed) term:

One step for a small bear….

But the Watergate burglars had nothing on the panda kindergarten!

“What did dey knows, and when did dey knows it?” Fuggedabout da %7^$## tape!

And who says panda satire isn’t educational?

Meanwhile, yet another alert reader told me that today is national Cat Day. frankly, it feels like every day is cat day around my house, but what do I know? Mehitabel is celebrating the day by relaxing with a good book:

What cats are reading at the beach this summer!

Meanwhile, if you haven’t already done so, don’t waste another second without checking out my latest books, Pandamorphosis and The Panda Chronicles Book 4: the Book of Wu! (Mebbe you might want a copy for your very own!)

Well, we’ll see you all next week. Um..is this conversation being taped?

Be the Bear,
Bob T. panda

They are watching you!

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Once again, news from the real world inspires me with tales of pandas doing stuff that they shouldn’t be doing. Thanks to Panda-spondant Charlene J. for alerting me to the story on unmanned drones being used to track wild pandas. We are still working on the story about the bear that fell through a skylight in Alaska, (NOT a panda, I might point out) in a brazen attempt to gobble up cuppycakes at a birthday party. Dude! Just ring the bell! I’m sure they would ask you in if you would just ask politely!

Every move you make, we’ll be watching you!

This is an excellent learning opportunity for the panda kindergarten! I mean learning about science and wild pandas. What did you think I meant?

Be the bear!
Bob T Panda

And be sure to tune in next time when Inspector Panda returns!

Selfies at The Running of the Bulls

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Oh, this “selfies in perilous situations” craze is getting totally out of hand. First tiger selfies, then selfies at the Tour de France, and now, oh…i can barely bear to think about it.

Selfies at the running of the bulls. I am not making this up.

AAAAAAhhhHHHHHH!

Maybe it would be better to take a selfie at the running of the pandas.

What makes a panda run? Cuppycakes, of course!!!!

I smell frosting!

Meanwhile, I’ve made another guest post appearance, this time over at VSomethingSpeaks. Check it out for more insight into the Way of the Panda (Satire). (sorry, Henry!)

Hope you enjoyed the Meihem twins special birthday ‘toon yesterday! I suppose I will have to do something special for Princess Pinky now, huh?

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Selfies at the Tour de France

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Oh my, just when I thought that the practice of taking selfies couldn’t get any more absurd, (see this post) an observant reader told me that people were taking selfies at the Tour de France. Not only were they taking selfies, they were stepping out into the flow of (really, really, really,) fast bicycle racers in order to do so.

We are talking about bicycle racers with only three fat cells in their entire bodies, who are probably already a little cranky because
A) Someone just compared them to Lance Armstrong,
B) It’s July,
C)There are not actually french fries every where in France,
and
D) Some moron with an iphone – who hasn’t been on a bike since 4th grade – just stepped out in front of them and they crashed and cannot finish the race because their $12,000 Italian racing bike now looks like a leftover pretzel from the Bumpkin County Fair.

Of course, here at The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire felt we had to address this issue, in the mature and respectful way that you have come to expect from us. (Insert fart joke here.)

Sometimes real life news stories make it Just. Too. Easy

Meanwhile back at the Zoo, panda birthday season has begun. I hesitate to admit that I don’t know the birthdays of every U.S. born panda, let alone those born abroad, but Washington DC’s favorite #1 son, Tai Shan, celebrated his 9th birthday on July 9th, and the Meihem twins of Zoo Atlanta have their first birthday coming up this Tuesday! (Ya’ll come back for a special birthday ‘toon on Tuesday, OK?)

Meanwhile, in honor of the publication of my book Pandamorphosis, we are inviting you to post pictures of YOUR copy of Pandamorphosis on The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire page on Facebook.

Huzzah!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

It All Falls Apart…

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…especially when you have three girls, and two of them are twin sisters. What? You thought they were all going to get along happily forever? You have obviously never been a pre-adolescent girl, if you thought that. Ah, the shifting loyalties, the tattling on each other…those were the days…

Oh dear, the Mei-hem twinkies have made Pinky mad. Uh oh.

Sigh…I suppose after the cookie incident, they were waiting to get even.

Meanwhile, pandas are appearing around the interweb in celebration of Pandamorphosis. They have recently made a appearance on Kirby Larson’s blog, Kirby’s Lane. Huzzah!

On Wednesday, Inspector Panda will return to continue his tale of mystery and intrigue. ( Well, we hope so, anyway.)

Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda

A Salute to the Masters of the Medium

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Every once in a while I mention how I’ve learned from artists of the past, whether we are talking about fine art ,or illustration, or comics. One of my major inspirations in drawing comics is Bill Watterson, creator of the brilliantly unsurpassable Calvin and Hobbes.

So imagine my delight and envy when I read the post by Stephan Pastis (of Pearls Before Swine fame) where he relates the story of a project he recently did with Bill Watterson, which was brought to my attention on Twitter from Liam F. Walsh, cartoonist for The New Yorker. (And yes, I realize I am name-dropping like hell. Get over it.)

Of course, I had to let the pandas have their way with this story.

Excuse me, Mr. Watterson, but….

I’m sure that the panda kindergarten will..um…take very good care of Hobbes.

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Where in the World…

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…are Princess Pinky and the Mei-hem Twins? Thats what enquiring minds keep asking me. I’m afraid I have been just the teensiest bit irresponsible (do ya think???) to let the girls go off across the country in the Cublanta Twins’ little yellow cubvertible without any supervision.

What was I thinking?

But we have addressed the manner in the most responsible and expedient way possible by devoting the latest edition of ZooNooZ to an in depth look at this crisis.

Uh oh…mad mom alert….

So where in the world are they?…um…your guess is as good as mine! (See helpful map!)

A heads up for Wednesday: I have a special guest blogger who will be virtually visiting me here at The Panda Chronicles! Writer C. Hope Clark, author of The Carolina Slade mystery series and grand poobah of the extremely popular and useful Funds for Writers website. She offered to share a guest post here as I celebrate the launch of Pandamorphosis into the world. I’m thrilled to have her here, as she talks about finding and following our childhood wishes and dreams.

Till then,
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Zippity Zoom* It’s the last day of the A to ZZZZZ Challenge

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* Thanks and apologies to Nancy A.( who coincidentally just sold her first book! Huzzah!) for using your title, but hey! Z’s, you know?

Yes we have reached the zenith of the A to Z (some might say the nadir), the zero hour, my zombie like stare, from too many hours staring at zee computer. (talk about cheap shots!) How can I equate something that starts with “Z” to pandas? why, zoos, of course!

But, I promised you a new cartoon, didn’t I? And without any more zigzagging from zonked out cuppycake crazed pandas, here ’tis:

Zee mystery is about to begin!

But I think you need a few more cartoons to make this a worthy finale, and what could be more appropriate than a couple of episodes of ZooNooZ, the only news show that looks the same whether you spell it upside down, frontwards, backwards, or upside down and backwards! It’s like a multidirectional palindrome!

Did he really have to tell them THAT????

What happens in Vegas….. (notice the lampshade? you might want to remember that later.)

Goodnight everyone!

Thanks for letting the pandas come and play at the A to Z Blog Challenge. We now return you to our regular schedule of pandas.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Nah Nah Nah Naaaah Nah It’s International Panda Day

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Oh that Panda Kindergarten….not for nothing are they known as nuisances throughout the nation. No nagging doubts about nonsensical nitwits here!

Meanwhile, Bob tries to elevate the tenor of ZooNooz by adding stories of scientific interest. And yes, there really was an article about this in the Smithsonian. (Of course I didn’t read it, I just absconded with the headline for its comic possibilities, n’est pas?)

No nonsense to be found here!

Meanwhile, I have been dropping hints about the release of Pandamorphosis, my wordless picture book, which was supposed to debut today. There have been a couple of bumps in the road, but Pandamorphosis cannot be stopped, even if it can be delayed.

I will spare you the gorier details, but let’s just say, for various reasons, the publisher who had been going to publish Pandamorphosis no longer seemed to be the best home for my little bears. But, it was an excellent detour, as I acquired my book designer, who did a marvelous job making me look better than I am. Because said publisher uses a printer that I have worked with on all the Panda Chronicles books, I know what the quality of the books will be and through said Panda Chronicles, I have a multitude (OK, a small multitude but nevertheless) of fabulous panda loving fans who are poised to bring glory to Pandamorphosis. That’s you guys, in case you were wondering.

I am now planning for Pandamorphosis to be let loose on the world the first week of June. This gives me more time to proof the book, plan the panda-ing and make some cuppycakes! And here is another preview of what the pandas of Pandamorphosis have in store for you:

Let Loose the Bears!

Today was brought to you by the letter “N” which is just two letters away from “P” which is going to be a very panda-ful day here at the Panda Chronicles, where all letters bring pandas to mind. Thanks to the A to Z for letting the pandas come to play! There’s a very interesting post on the history of Murano glass over at The Art of Not Getting Published, with my pick of the day.

Be the Bear
Bob T Panda