Tag Archives: satire

The State of the Panda Union

State of the Union, State of the Pandas…can you have one without the other? I wouldn’t think so. While the State of the Union, if Mittens and his evil minions are to be believed, is hanging by a thread. But if you look at the actual accomplishments of Handsome Joe and the pre-dysfunctional Congress, there is much to stand up and cheer about.

Not least of which, the pandas will be returning to PanDiego

Meanwhile, the question on everyone’s mind tonight: will Marge embarrass herself again by acting like a yahoo at a basketball game? Or will there be other interruptions?

Any one want to take bets on whether Pinky shows up before Marge makes her first uncouth remark?

Be the Bear!
Bob T I’ll be watching Panda

California Dreaming!

It might be Super Tuesday in someplace, but it won’t be SUPER DOOPER TUESDAY until the pandas return to Pandiego!

Would it be cynical of me to use the words “Super Tuesday” in order to get more eyes on the Panda Chronicles? You be the judge!

Be the Bear!
Bob T Super Panda Tuesday Panda

Pandas Pandas PANDAS!!!

We are still celebrating the impending arrival later this year, of a new generation of pandas in Panda Canyon! We *might* need to distract ourselves from current events.

Of course, Pinky has inserted herself into the process of welcoming the next California pandas!

Be the Bear!
Bob T will we never be free of Mittens? Panda

Okay, It’s Not Still Breaking Nooz, But…

Pinky had some thoughts she wanted to share about the (hopefully) arriving pandas to the Pandiego Zoo later this year. I say hopefully, because as we know, many things can go wrong between now and then, so while I’m keeping my fingers crossed and my thoughts hopeful, I’m not all in on positivity, if you take my meaning.

Isn’t it reassuring that Pinky is so consistent in her viewpoint?

No?

Oh well.

Be the Bear!
Bob T trying to remain hopeful Panda

Pandas for President!

We have NOOOOOOZ

Panda watchers around the US woke up to the NooZ that negotiations have been underway, agreements are being signed, permits are being applied for to BRING MORE PANDAS TO PANDIEGO!!!!! Before the end of this year!

We west coast folks have been having a real sad since early in 2019 when Bai Yun and the Very Wu Self left for China. Papa Gao Gao had left earlier in 2018. We were hoping that more pandas would be coming, but You Know Who had been messing things up with China since his reign of terror began and then the Covid pandemic arrived and we despaired of ever getting pandas on the west coast again.

To put an extra helping of frosting on the cupcake, part of the negotiations is to get one of Bai Yun’s descendants as the female half of the new panda pair. Bai Yun has a LOT of descendants. I need someone with better record keeping abilities than I have to inform me on just how many grand babies and great grand babies Bai Yun has, but there are a lot of them. Next to Pan Pan, Bai Yun could be one of the most consequential pandas to have participated in taking pandas off the extremely endangered list. If you have info to share with the panda fans here, feel free to chime in in the comments.

And now, our story (well, one of our stories) continues

I’m sure the new pandas at Pandiego will be way more better behaved than Pinky and Six and Sebben. Probably.

Be the bear,
Bob T pandas return to San Diego Panda

The Jig is Up!

Throne of Pandas continues!

Wouldn’t ya know…Six had a bad idea and Sebben knew a guy who knows a guy! What will those little pandas think of next? Um….better not to ask.

As usual, politics is making my head hurt. It should be more clear than ever that Mittens must not return to power. I just got my voter’s guide for the March primaries and I will be voting for Handsome Joe. He’s not perfect. Nobody is. But I can’t think of another person running who could even possibly get us out of the mess we are in. A world where I would willingly read a book written by Liz Cheney is a weird world, indeed.

Now WHY is it that Pinky shouldn’t be allowed to have missiles?

Be the Bear
Bob T I know a guy too Panda

Throne of Pandas!

Just so we are clear here, I have never watched Game of Thrones, but if there was a version with pandas in it, Six and Sebben would be the star evil villains in it.

Things are starting to heat up in TFG’s trial schedule. Be prepared for dirty tricks, attempts to delay, obstruct, and spew crazy things on his Toxic Social network. Meanwhile, Smiling Joe will continue to keep doing his job, and doing it well. Try to tune out the naysayers. They are just trying to depress you, so you’ll stay home, even if you would never vote for TFG.

And…um…pay no attention to those drones flying around the Panda House. I’m sure it’s all…um…fine.

Be the Bear
Bob T wake me when it’s over Panda

Pinky Security!

Winning through procrastination!

Taylor Swift won the Superb Owl! Because I am a football genius! We watched the replay of the last quarter (or is it an inning?) and the overtime, and mostly were all yelling “what are they doing? What’s going on? OW! That had to hurt!

Meanwhile, Mittens is going around saying all kinds of crazy sh*t and we are all living in the age of anxiety! As Bikkie says, “It’s all too muchie!

I managed to procrastinate to miss my 2nd ‘toon of the week last week. Will I do better this week? Who knows!

Anyway, Pinky has a new security team!

From here on, if I don’t have a new ‘toon to post, I’ll share something relevant from the archives!

Be the bear!
Bob T We are all Swifties Now Panda

Sistahs!!

I can’t remember when I found out that Mei Xiang and Lun Lun were half sisters, but once I did, all sorts of sisterly interactions suddenly became possible! Long talks on the phone, exchanging parenting advice, sending her cubbies to stay with their cousins!

Wait…did you say sending her cubbies to stay with their cousins???!?!?!

Um…

I just love their little phone chats!

BTW, I am really enjoying the MAGA melt downs over the whole Taylor Swift thing. I mean…they have really lost their minds! I will admit to a passing familiarity to Swift’s music, via my bedroom radio/alarm. The station (which is about the only one I get on my cheap radio alarm clock in the midst of all the tall trees around here,) plays popular music, of which Taylor Swift is a frequent offering. I will also admit, that despite I am not her prime demographic, I think her music is clever, catchy, and cheerful, and while I’m probably not inclined to go to a concert, I do like her music. Her writing is smart and engaging. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

Hearing stories about the bonuses for ALL the people who work for her on her tours, along with charitable contributions, well, that makes me like her more. and that she has embraced politics, and as a young woman with a lot of young women fans, well, no wonder MAGA has set their hair on fire over her. They should know better than to mess with Swift Force One! Oh wait. I forgot. They are really stupid.

I’ve heard through the boo-vine, that Pinky is a fan! This is definitely something to keep our eyes on.

Be the Bear
Bob T #WeAreAllSwiftiesNow Panda