Mr. Wu has a surprise coming….

12 Replies

…and it is not necessarily a good one. Sigh…There comes a time in a young bear’s life, when he is pushed out into the world. We don’t know if Bai Yun and her betrothed bear Gao Gao will hear the flapping of the storks wings one more time, but nevertheless, unlike so many young people these days, living at home with mom providing three meals and laundry service is not an option for Mr. Wu.

Sing ‘ho” for the life of a bear.

Too soon, too soon, a Wu and his mom will go their separate ways…

There is still work to be done to prepare for the launch of the Pandamorphosis kickstarter project. But also in panda satire news this month, Here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we are donating $1 to Pandas International for each Panda Chronicles book sold for the entire month of February. Huzzah!

Here’s today’s image from Pandamorphosis!

“Just what does she see in pandas?” thought the cat…

Stay tuned….
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Pinky has a problem….

21 Replies

…with the results from the recent Giant Panda Zoo Awards. Now, we’ve tried to reason with Princess Pinky, but she is completely inconsolable that she did not win the cubby of the year award.

“Doesn’t being a princess count for anyting?” she wails.

Could Mama Mei Xiang really be contemplating letting Pinky loose on the pandy kindy?

Meanwhile, Pandamorphosis plans are moving ahead, as I gather my wits and my materials to launch a Kickstarter project to take Pandamorphosis from random scattered drawings in my file drawer to the printed page. Mark February 12th on your calendar, as that is my anticipated launch date. Here is another of my favorite drawings from the book to whet your appetite for all things panda(morphosis):

An unexpected transformation!

I’ve been working on my list of rewards to entice you to support my quest to publish Pandamorphosis, including some of the original art! There is definitely a part of me that wants to keep all the drawings for myself, but in my long life as an artist, I’ve learned that I am happiest when my creations go out into the world to bring enjoyment to others.

If you are already on my mailing list, you will be receiving an update next week (OK, now I DO have to write it) and if you’re not, there’s still time to sign up for my mostly monthly newsletter. Just go to the second form at the top of the right-hand column, that says, “Get even more pandas” and add your email address. Mailchimp will take you through the sign-up process, and you can unsubscribe easily at any time.

Be the Bear and Happy Groundhogs Day.
Bob T. Panda

It’s Chinese New Year AND Fabulous Furry Friday!

4 Replies

WEll, it’s a good thing that Chinese New Year lasts for 15 days, which will give me a chance to do a new cartoon or two for this year. Which is, of course, the Year of the Panda and…oh wait…what? It’s not the year of the panda?

Then when IS the year of the panda? What do you mean there isn’t one?

I need to sit down for a minute and…um…maybe have a cuppycake or two. But first, take a look at the video I made in preparation for the launch of my Kickstarter project to help get Pandamorphosis published:

In the meantime, here are some encore presentations of Chinese New Years past!

the year of the dragon, panda kindergarten

Huzzah! it’s the year of the Dragon!

What do you mean by “was?”

The year of the bunny…..

Oh that panda kindergarten!

Be the Bear, and don’t forget you can support Pandas International by buying my books! starting February 1st (that’s tomorrow!)

Bob T. Panda

Huzzah for Pandas International!

10 Replies

Because Mr. Wu got soooooo much screen time in December, he has graciously allowed us to pre-empt his weekly forum today. (XLW: what dat mean grasshusly? is dat ’bout bamboo?)

We are big fans of Pandas International for many reasons. First, they do stuff for pandas (and as we have said before, without pandas, there could be no panda satire!) But also, for some strange reason, they think we’re pretty funny! So of course we can’t help but jump up and down and say, “They like me! They really like me!”

They have asked us to share some of our cartoons with them, for Christmas cards and for their annual auction program. When given the challenge of coming up with a cartoon for a fairly straight/serious subject, it is fun to see where my mind takes me. Last year’s funding focus was for enrichment items to keep the pandas entertained. Of course I had to have my own point of view:

I am such a dork.

This year, they would like to help fund laboratory equipment and so I came up with this idea for a cartoon for their program.

Can you calibrate the cuppycake?

But this was not quite enough help to lend to pandas, and so I thought I’d have a special promotion. To help support the work that Pandas International does, I have decided (because, you know, I’m the decider around here) that for each and every Panda Chronicles book sold through either Amazon or my Createspace stores during the month of February 2014, I will donate $1 to Pandas International. Really!

The panda Chronicles supports Pandas International

It’s just like the panda says! Buy my book and real pandas benefit!

So, if you were thinking about adding to your collection of Panda Chronicles books, February would be a great time to do it. There are now 3 books in the series, starting with The Panda Chronicles Book 1: Your Brain on Pandas, moving on to The Panda Chronicles Book 2: Wheel…of….Pandas! and my most recent release, The Panda Chronicles Book 3: Nobody Expects the Panda Kindergarten! and soon, very soon, maybe even before the end of February (no pressure, of course) The Panda Chronicles Book 4: The Book of Wu, which contains all the cartoons to date starring Mr. Wu! It will start with his early days in the den and continue with all five of his extended play adventure stories! Huzzah!

I know I always say this, but this really is my best book yet.

So…support pandas, buy my books and be there bear!
Bob T. Panda

What we learn from listening to the news….

4 Replies

I think I get some of my best ideas from listening to the news when I’m driving around in the cubvertable. There are so many things IRL that are just begging to be made fun of, if you ask me! (You were going to ask me weren’t you?)

Be that as it may, today’s cartoon was inspired by a news story about how there is now this backlash against excessive photoshopping of models and celebrities in all those glossy magazines and videos. I get their point. It makes an impossible standard for real, actual people to measure themselves against. This is a major problem for young folks, whose self images are always under intense scrutiny.

I’m ready for my close-up…um..I am, aren’t I?

I agree in principle, however, if I was ever being photographed for a magazine, I would have to insist on some pretty major photoshopping in order to appear in print! For the record, I don’t think any of Princess Pinky’s photos or videos have been altered. she is. Just. That. Cute.

Hope you are having a happy Sunday! Hanging back, having a few bootinis and just being the bear!

Huzzah!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

“I felt so violated”: A Panda’s Tail

8 Replies

Today on Fabulous Furry Friday, we bring you something that’s just a little bit different!

So, somewhere here and there around the interweb, I got into a conversation and someone (who’s initial’s may or may not be A.L.W.) and she mentioned the infamous panda Gu Gu, who..um…bit someone. This story was originally brought to my attention when I first started down the sordid path to panda satire. (This person’s initials just MIGHT be K.G.)

Anyway, of course I had to do several cartoons on the subject. Some time later, I wrote a story about the incident’s aftermath :

And here it is:

Panda Attacks Man in Chinese Zoo

WHAM! The gavel thundered on the desk like the sound of a cage door banging shut. “Guilty as charged!” cried the judge.

I was framed!

But let me tell my story from the beginning, and then you can decide for yourself: innocent victim or desperate criminal. My name is Yang-Yang, and I live at the Qixing Park Zoo in China. We pandas have a huge weight on our shoulders, and it is this: we’re cute. We’re really, really cute. People think it’s easy being cute, but I am here to tell you that it is no teddy bear’s picnic.

The day started out like any other. I got up, had some bamboo, and got ready to go out and meet my public. I stretched and rolled over then pretended to grab my toe, you know, page 243 of the “being really cute handbook.” Out of the corner of my eye I could see this guy. He was giving me “the look”. We pandas see it all the time, because, well, not to press the point but… They get a misty-eyed, goofy look on their faces, and then I know trouble is on the way. So I’m going into my routine, and the next thing I know, he’s climbing over the fence and coming towards me. He still has the look on his face, and his arms are stretched wide open. And then he HUGGED ME! I couldn’t believe it.

We hadn’t even been properly introduced.

Well, there really was only one thing I could do. I growled, “I’m sorry sir, but I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” But he just kept hugging me. I have an excellent sense of smell so it was impossible not to notice that he had some candy in his pocket. Breakfast seemed like it was hours ago and I was hungry. I thought, “Gee, since we’re such good friends now, I’m sure he won’t mind if I help myself.” I must have miscalculated because instead of getting the candy bar, I took a big bite out of his leg. You should have heard the screaming and yelling then!

“I felt so violated!”

Nobody would have been the wiser, and they probably wouldn’t have made such a big deal about it, except that all these people pulled out their cameras and cell phones and started taking pictures and sending them to all their friends. I think it was even on you-tube. After that, it was hard to deny what happened. People were running around, calling for the police; WAY overreacting. They pulled the guy out of my yard and made me go back into a locked den.

I never got my lunch.

I thought that that would be the end of it, until a few days later when I got a summons to appear in court. I was sure it would be an open and shut case. After all, he was trespassing in my territory. But for all the talk about the right to arm bears, it turns out that pandas have no civil rights. Who knew? There were hours of interviews with my lawyers and with his lawyers and I missed several meals. I thought about biting a lawyer or two, but I decided I was already in enough trouble.

Soon enough, the day for my court appearance arrived. TV news teams came from all over the world. This was the big story of the year- the trial of the century! After all, how many times does a panda stand accused for the crime of being cute? Maybe I can get a book deal out of this.

The guy’s whole defense was that since pandas are so cute, that he was unable to control his urge to hug me, so it was my fault! Finally, it was my turn to take the witness stand. I rolled on my back and did a few paw nibbles so the judge could see how harmless and adorable I am. He glared at me over the top of his glasses, banged his gavel and said, “The witness will SIT in the chair or face a contempt citation!” I sat up, wiggled my ears, and took the oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and mostly nothing but the truth.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” the judge asked sternly.

“Just because I’m cute, it doesn’t mean I’m easy,” I replied. The judge banged his gavel, hard, and I prepared, again, for a life behind bars.

The End

Pandas on the move part two….

25 Replies

It has been an exciting week in pandyland…the Giant Panda Zoo Award winners were announced, (Princess Pinky: WHAT do you MEAN I din’t win? i demand a recount!!!!!) and San Diego Zoo’s current number one son is now home alone as his brother (the former number one son) has headed to a new destiny in China.

I couldn’t resist one last farewell scene.

Get out your hankies.

Yun Zi leaves his San Diego Home for China

Leaving the nest is never easy.

Coming soon, exiting news from The Panda Chronicles in support of Pandas International!

And in other Panda Satire news….Those who receive my newsletter (what? you mean you haven’t subscribed yet? Go up to the form that says: Get Even More Pandas, put ‘cher email address in there and then you’ll know before everyone else!) know that I am working on a cookbook with author and Che de Cuppycake Vicky Vladic! She is writing (and testing!) the recipes and I will be doing the illustrations. We don’t know exactly when it will be finished, but you might want to up your cuppycake consumption, so you will be ready when The Panda Chronicles Cuppycake Cookbook hits the shelves of your local and virtual bookstores.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

I have defeated the evil computer…

6 Replies

…and I didn’t even use a hammer. It was definitely touch and go for a while, but thanks to some advice from various friends around the interwebs, new software from the scanner maunfacturer, I was able to finally, (FINALLY!!!!!) quit farting around plugging, unplugging, rebooting, ad infinitum and finally, at the end, it was a case of using one cable rather than another. (not that I didn’t need the updated software, but maybe if they had had the link on their website in the first place, AND suggested trying both the USB cable as well as the firewire cable, it might have only taken me three days instead of 6.) Special pandy thanks goes out to Aaron Shepard’s blog, My Mac Fixes for the solution to my woes, as well as Frances and Ann, who suggested looking on Goggle and the support forums rather than running out to someone who would charge me $75 to say, “did you try this other cable?”

Is it any wonder that people are fed up with technology and the people who supply it as well as use it it? Oh, wait…they want me to buy a new scanner! uh huh…

Bad taste alert! BTW I’m lying about never doing it again.

The following cartoon addresses a very tragic incident that happened last week. Yes, I know, it’s not a funny situation, but my experience of the last week leads me to realize more than ever, that people’s nerves are stretched pretty thin, and it doesn’t take much to push someone over the edge.

annoyed moviegoer allegedly shoots two for texting in movietheater

Don’t try this at home….

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

It’s Fabulous Furry Friday!

10 Replies

Well, I had hoped to bring you a new cartoon today, but I am still having technical difficulties with getting the computer to recognize the scanner. I did get the software installed appropriately, because it now shows up in the applications folder, but despite the restarting and overbooting and unplugging and reconnecting of the components, it still says ; you are so scr%##92@d. in the error message.

or something like that.

Well, the big news today is that the winners of the international Giant Panda Zoo Awards for 2013 were announced this morning right at the home of the Twinkies at Zoo Atlanta, and let me tell you, there is some grumbling from other quarters if you know what I mean! The Twinkies won the coveted “Cub of the Year” award, and all I can say is it’s a very good thing that mama Mei hid Princess Pinky’s magical wand, or I think she would’ve marched her fuzzy little princess self down to Atlanta, and given them the biggest >poof< since General Sherman came through town.

Beware, the power of the paw! At least Pinky is a cover girl!!!!

Not only that, but…and I can hardly say this without shaking in my boots, but Mr Wu did NOT win the Panda Personality of the Year award.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?????? Mr. Wu is not speaking to reporters this morning, as he needs to…um…collect himself.

Is this a personality or what?

Uh oh. All is not well in Pandyland!

I’m hoping I can resolve my computer issues over the weekend, because, hello? I have NEW cartoons to post, so anyone who can give me some advice that actually works will be rewarded. (not with money, mind you, because, let’s face it, panda satire is not the most lucrative profession in the world. But I could send you some panda goodies!)

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Emergency, Will Robinson, Emergency!

4 Replies

Or was that “Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!” ?

Due to technical difficulties, I was not able to scan today’s cartoon, and so there will be a rerun.

See, what happened is, that I finally had to give up my old operating system on my computer, which was operating on “Tigger” and I didn’t want to go to the new, new operating system, because it’s getting such crappy reviews, AND my scanner won’t work with it at all, so I compromised on Snow Leopard because it’s not so very different from Tigger. And every thing would work. Ha!

So.

I downloaded the new and appropriate “driver” (whatever the heck THAT is) and now it says that my scanner isn’t on or connected, when it jolly well is.

Where is Princess Pinky and her magical wand when I need her?

Princess Pinky helps with new years resolutions

You say you want a resolution, well, you know, it is hard to change a bear….

Tell me a story, mommy!

sigh….

being the non technological bear.
Bob T Panda