OMG It’s Tax Time!

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The Panda Revenue Service wants YOU! Because once again, at least in the United S of A, it is tax time, which means hand over that wallet!! Fortunately, the Panda Kindergarten Accounting Service is ready, willing and…um…well, while not exactly able, they do have an adding machine…to help you with your calculations.

They will be looking very closely at the returns of any known cats, as you may well imagine, because …um CATS!!!!!!

Will Bob ever learn? Will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

And because it is good to have something to laugh at through your tears, here are some of our other favorites to help you procrastinate just a little longer this weekend!

And it was ever thus….

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

Princess Pinky helps with new years resolutions

You say you want a resolution, well, you know, it is hard to change a bear….I love Pinky when she is sorry she did something.

And if you want to get into some serious procrastination this weekend, wouldn’t it be a good idea to order all the http://www.yourbrainonpandas.com/book-table/ for your very own? They contain HOURS of procrastinatory panda goodness!

Okay then….where did I put my income records?

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Don’t Bogart that Agenda

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It is really hard to make stuff up that is any funnier than what I hear on the news in real life. As you may know, (or may not, if you don’t pay attention to these sorts of things) that Washington State has legalized the sale and possession of Marijauna for consenting adults over the age of 21. Colorado, and possibly the District of Columbia have done so as well.

I listened in unabashed amusement, as I heard of a town in southeastern Washington that had gone one step further. Yep, the city council of North Bonneville had voted to open their own pot store. As much as I am not a fan of Foxy News, they did have the best (meaning most inflammatory) story about this.

Of course, Zoonooz had to comment on this.

Yo, don’t bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me….

Yeah, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with pandas.

Be the Bear (and pass the brownies!)
Bob T. Panda

Where Do We Go When…

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…we are poofed by a magical wand? This question has come up frequently (well, it does around here, I don’t know how often you come up against this problem!) at the offices at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire! Just where do we go when we are “poofed”?

We recently heard a story on NPR about an office in Tokyo, where nine cats live and work side by side with all the people in the office. They claim that it reduces the stress levels in their employees. I don’t know if my stress levels would be reduced if I arrived at my desk to find a great big hairball barfed up on a report I had been working on for two weeks. But hey, maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, when considering where Mehitabel would end up when Pinky “poofed” her, I thought that maybe this would be a good place for her to go.

Mehitabel! Can you take a meeting?

I didn’t know they worked, either, Bob.

Be the Bear, and if you can’t be a bear, be the cat!
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday Salutes…

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…Easter! Bring on the marshmallow peeps, the malted milk candy covered Easter eggs, the chocolate pandas and…what…wait…

What do you mean there are no chocolate pandas for my Easter basket. Only BUNNIES????? I thought Easter was all about pandas! and how the Easter Panda brings treats to all the good little girls and boys….

What’s Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

Of course, once certain members of the panda kindergarten came on the scene, the tradition became more of …um…a trick or treat kind of experience.

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

Once again, Fabulous Furry Friday brings you the REAL story!

Be the (Easter) Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Pandas Go Wild!

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A recent article by noted international Pandologist Henry Nicholls was brought to my attention by alert reader, Susan S. In the article, Nicholls talks about how wild pandas don’t …um…have that embarrassing problem that some zoo pandas have. Those pandas really know how to go wild!

Of course we of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire felt compelled to embarrass zoo pandas one more time. I mean, it’s what we do around here, isn’t it?

Thanks guys! No, really.

Oh, you brute!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Grounded for Life

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Those panda moms are some tough cookies. You do NOT want to
Make
them
MAD!

You might just find yourself grounded for life.

Good thing Pinky has her own computer in her room and a Skype account so she can keep in touch with her American Zoo panda compatriots.

But maybe you should be careful what you admit to, Pinky.

Hopefully Larry will start advising her to be a better behaved little panda soon.

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday…again!

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I am very sorry to tell you of a great tragedy.

Yes, that’s right. Panda Scout cookie Season is over. But it’s not too late for Fabulous Furry Friday to salute the Panda Scout Cookie Drive!

On my honor, I will try…to eat as many cookies as I possibly can….

As you may recall, the Meihem twins are Panda Scouts and have earned many merit badges for such diverse skills as cookie wrangling, sibling rivalry, and hostage taking.

What do you mean “hostage taking” doesn’t have a merit badge? They were very polite.

And who could forget the great Highway Gate incident, when …um…”someone” disrupted traffic to Zoo Cublanta, thus spoiling the sale of the Meihem’s Panda Scout cookies?

Time to call in …Inspector panda!

Don’t you wish you could read the entire Highway-gate Story? You Do? Well, you might consider getting your very own copy of The Panda Chronicles Book 5: Pandapocalypse NOW! which has this whole story and a whole lot more Pinki-tude and Meihem, for your chortling pleasure. Wasn’t that a subtle commercial? I thought so too.

Have a great weekend!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

The Cat Came Back

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I could hear the cries of despair from Mehitabel’s fans (and yes, she does have them) and I had no intention of letting her disappearance be permanent. So yes, the cat came back.

And so did Bob!

Despite the fact that Bob is still wearing his vacation outfit, he’s back and ready to report, observant as ever!

um…”ooopsie”?

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Look at that adorable face! Frosting wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

Will there be some consequences for Miss Pinky? Hmmmmmm… tune in next week.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Here, Kitty Kitty…

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Ooopsie! Here, kitty, kitty! Where are you?

Where does one go when one gets poofed by Pinky? I’m afraid I must admit to a certain amount of irresponsibility. I mean, this is fiction, right? Do I have to have an answer for everything???? Meanwhile, Pinky has to answer to a higher authority for her actions.

Yes: her mom. Just because she is now living on her own in real life, doesn’t mean the same rules apply here.

Now where did that cat go?

Small bears will get into trouble, won’t they?

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday!

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Fabulous Furry Friday brings you more encore presentations from the Panda Season of Love! We are working on some stories in this rich and extensive vein of pure panda gold, but in the meantime, here are some of our favorites from the past!

We would like to alert you to some recent stories and articles about the …um…romantic life of pandas. First, the news of 23 year old Bai Yun reigniting the flames of love in hopes of bringing a seventh cub into the world hit the internet this week. Unfortunately, her resident stud muffin was not quite up to the job, as he has had some um…health issues of late. not that he wasn’t willing, mind you.

And for those of you who may be saying Bai Yun deserves to retire from being a cubby producing machine, let me remind you, we are not talking about an irresponsible couple of teenagers in the backseat of a car. There are veterinarians, panda researchers, and Chinese panda experts who all had to sign off on this venture before they could proceed. If Bai Yun succeeds in having a cub this year, she will be the oldest panda mom on record to do so. They know what they are doing and so does Bai Yun. Nuff said.

Now, shall we quit being serious and get back to making fun of pandas?
Yes!

It was dark…there were men in masks….

Did you HAVE to mention that? Thanks for the New Yorker Article!

Will we ever hear the pitter patter of little paws in Scotland?

Um…pass the beer and poutine, please!

Have we embarrassed pandas enough? NO! If it isn’t bad enough cartoonists are making fun of pandas, how about having to be compared to wild pandas by noted science writer and esteemed pandologist, Henry Nicholls?

Whatever will the pandas standing around the water cooler say about that?

By the way, Did you know tomorrow is National Corn Dog Day? No, me neither. Do with this information what you will.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda