Author Archives: Panda in Chief

About Panda in Chief

Anne Belov paints, writes, makes prints, and is the founder of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire. You can find her paintings at the Rob Schouten Gallery and Fountainhead Gallery, her cartoons on The Panda Chronicles, and her new book here. She also writes regularly for The Whidbey Life Magazine, a free journal of art and culture on Whidbey Island. Her main regret in life is that there is no MacArthur Grant for Panda Satire.

Private email part 2

Bob should take some small comfort in knowing that he is not the only political candidate that has had to reveal their personal emails after using their private email account for official emails related to their important government jobs.

But hey! you can get away with a lot when you are a panda, right, Mr. Pookie Bear?

"...and don't forget the Binky Bars!"

“…and don’t forget the Binky Bars!”

Fabulous Furry Friday: #WeREndangered!

Sunday’s cartoon was a lot of fun for me, and not just because of my coffee slinging history. I like it when Mehitabel has a chance to wig out and give the pandas a little what for.

Several people wrote in their comments that they would love to have a #WeREndangered coffee mug too, so I got right on it. I have a very neglected Cafe Press store, where you can buy things with various members of the Panda Chronicles on them. I know it is really time for some updated inventory, but only so many hours of the day and all that, you know.

I’ve long been wanting to design something with the Pandy Kindy in their Fez Mobile (or as I like to call it, their mobile fez-book app) and it occurred to me that this was the perfect place!

What could be more endangered than joyriding pandas NOT wearing seat belts?

What could be more endangered than joyriding pandas NOT wearing seat belts?

Because I love the idea that people can find my pandas here and read them for free, I try not to lean too heavily on the potential money making aspects of panda satire, because, that would be …um…annoying. However, making a little filthy lucre from selling books and panda satire products, does make it possible for me to keep doing this. At least until I get a MacArthur Genius Grant for Panda Satire, at which time I will just leave piles of my books on street corners for anyone who wants them…

And lest we forget that there STILL is no MacArthur Grant for Panda Satire....

And lest we forget that there STILL is no MacArthur Grant for Panda Satire….

So head over to the Cafe Press Pandyland store and order a couple of #WeREndangered coffee mugs! Heck! order a bunch for all your friends, and remember, without pandas, there can be no panda satire!

And to support pandas further, for every #WeREndangered mug that is ordered during the rest of April, we will make a liddle donation to Pandas International, because they are actually doing stuff to support pandas (and not just making fun of them like some people!)

Thanks for being the bear! Stay tuned to this station for some exciting announcements in the very near future, about panda princesses political perpetrations!

Bob T. Panda

Private email part 1

Oh dear. How was Bob to know that he shouldn’t send official campaign emails through his private email account? I mean, he is a panda and it’s really hard to type on all those little tiny keys when you have big furry paws. Why should he have to remember more than one password, for crying out loud? It’s not like more than…um…three people voted for him.

Well, Bob may have some competition in the next election cycle. I’ve heard rumors that Babette de Panda may throw her chapeau into the ring, and Pinky may not be content with being an icon.

Vote for pandas! We're endangered!

Vote for pandas! We’re endangered!

And…um, if you were procrastinating getting your taxes done, it’s time to bear up and get it done. I tried to find an amusing story to link to, but the only thing that didn’t make my head hurt was my own cartoon from last Friday. Sorry.

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

#WeREndangered

As a recovering former employee of the largest coffee chain in the galaxy, it was with great amusement that I read of their campaign to “instigate meaningful dialog about racism.” Not that this country doesn’t need some meaningful dialog on this issue, but the vehicle chosen by this particular industry was, at best, not well considered, and at worst….well, just saying….

As someone who worked for many years behind the counters of food and coffee establishments, I can say with a good amount of certainty, that the last thing someone who is standing in line waiting for their coffee in the morning is meaningful dialog beyond “large, leave room for cream, make that a double.” It’s bad enough to be behind the person who orders a “half caff, skim almond milk, extra foam, sprinkle of yak butter, cinnamon, caramel pandachino” let alone have to wait for them to have meaningful dialog about anything.

And I can pretty much guarantee that the barista, gazing at the line of 20+ people who have not had their coffee yet, does not want any more meaningful dialog beyond, “will that be cash, charge, or your first born?”

So, really, if you want to do something meaningful to eliminate racism, sexism, or intolerance of any kind, wouldn’t it be more meaningful to um…hire more people of color, or diverse life style choices in upper management level positions, for example? What do ya say, Howard?

Please note: we just read of Starbuck’s pledge to support Gay Marriage, which we applaud, and in the spirit of this announcement, we cordially invite anyone who really hates this idea to quit reading The Panda Chronicles. Pandas are in favor of tolerance, you know.

Meanwhile, we invite you to take part in our #WeREndangered campaign, and engage in our own brand of meaningful dialog*

*Making fun of pandas

This was way too much fun. :o)

This was way too much fun. :o)

Can I have my coffee now?

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

OMG It’s Tax Time!

The Panda Revenue Service wants YOU! Because once again, at least in the United S of A, it is tax time, which means hand over that wallet!! Fortunately, the Panda Kindergarten Accounting Service is ready, willing and…um…well, while not exactly able, they do have an adding machine…to help you with your calculations.

They will be looking very closely at the returns of any known cats, as you may well imagine, because …um CATS!!!!!!

Will Bob ever learn?  will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Will Bob ever learn? Will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

And because it is good to have something to laugh at through your tears, here are some of our other favorites to help you procrastinate just a little longer this weekend!

And it was ever thus....

And it was ever thus….

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

Princess Pinky helps with new years resolutions

You say you want a resolution, well, you know, it is hard to change a bear….I love Pinky when she is sorry she did something.

And if you want to get into some serious procrastination this weekend, wouldn’t it be a good idea to order all the http://www.yourbrainonpandas.com/book-table/ for your very own? They contain HOURS of procrastinatory panda goodness!

Okay then….where did I put my income records?

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Don’t Bogart that Agenda

It is really hard to make stuff up that is any funnier than what I hear on the news in real life. As you may know, (or may not, if you don’t pay attention to these sorts of things) that Washington State has legalized the sale and possession of Marijauna for consenting adults over the age of 21. Colorado, and possibly the District of Columbia have done so as well.

I listened in unabashed amusement, as I heard of a town in southeastern Washington that had gone one step further. Yep, the city council of North Bonneville had voted to open their own pot store. As much as I am not a fan of Foxy News, they did have the best (meaning most inflammatory) story about this.

Of course, Zoonooz had to comment on this.

Yo, don't bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me....

Yo, don’t bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me….

Yeah, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with pandas.

Be the Bear (and pass the brownies!)
Bob T. Panda

 

Where Do We Go When…

…we are poofed by a magical wand? This question has come up frequently (well, it does around here, I don’t know how often you come up against this problem!) at the offices at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire! Just where do we go when we are “poofed”?

We recently heard a story on NPR about an office in Tokyo, where nine cats live and work side by side with all the people in the office. They claim that it reduces the stress levels in their employees. I don’t know if my stress levels would be reduced if I arrived at my desk to find a great big hairball barfed up on a report I had been working on for two weeks. But hey, maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, when considering where Mehitabel would end up when Pinky “poofed” her, I thought that maybe this would be a good place for her to go.

Mehitabel! Can you take a meeting?

Mehitabel! Can you take a meeting?

I didn’t know they worked, either, Bob.

Be the Bear, and if you can’t be a bear, be the cat!
Bob T. Panda

 

Fabulous Furry Friday Salutes…

…Easter! Bring on the marshmallow peeps, the malted milk candy covered Easter eggs, the chocolate pandas and…what…wait…

What do you mean there are no chocolate pandas for my Easter basket. Only BUNNIES????? I thought Easter was all about pandas! and how the Easter Panda brings treats to all the good little girls and boys….

What's Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

What’s Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

Of course, once certain members of the panda kindergarten came on the scene, the tradition became more of …um…a trick or treat kind of experience.

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

Once again, Fabulous Furry Friday brings you the REAL story!

Be the (Easter) Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Pandas Go Wild!

A recent article by noted international Pandologist Henry Nicholls was brought to my attention by alert reader, Susan S. In the article, Nicholls talks about how wild pandas don’t …um…have that embarrassing problem that some zoo pandas have. Those pandas really know how to go wild!

Of course we of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire felt compelled to embarrass zoo pandas one more time. I mean, it’s what we do around here, isn’t it?

Thanks guys! No, really.

Thanks guys! No, really.

Oh, you brute!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Grounded for Life

Those panda moms are some tough cookies. You do NOT want to
Make
them
MAD!

You might just find yourself grounded for life.

Good thing Pinky has her own computer in her room and a Skype account so she can keep in touch with her American Zoo panda compatriots.

But maybe you should be careful what you admit to, Pinky.

But maybe you should be careful what you admit to, Pinky.

Hopefully Larry will start advising her to be a better behaved little panda soon.

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda