OK, I’ll stop now…..
We will go back to our regular program of panda satire very soon. Just had to get this one out first.
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda
Good-bye, little panda…..
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Tag Archives: Mei Xiang
We interrupt our regularly scheduled hilarity for this message
If you are not aware already, the nation’s (well this nation anyway) newest panda ceased to be after only 6 days on the planet. We send inner pandy thoughts to Mei Xiang, Tian Tian and all the staff at the National Zoo in Washington DC. They should know that the nation’s panda faithful mourn with them.
We know that these things happen…nature knows what it is doing, but it doesn’t make us any less sad. We will go back to being funny tomorrow.
Till then,
Be the bear.
Bob T. Panda and the entire menage at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire.
Huzzah, Huzzah! A Panda is Born!
The pandasphere is buzzing with the news that Mei Xiang of the National Zoo in Washington D.C. has just exceeded expectations and produced a brand new bouncing baby panda! She has not had a cub since her first little miracle bear 7 years ago, when Tai Shan, darling of the pandaratti, was born. He moved to China in January of 2010 and we have been waiting and hoping ever since that Mei would rise to the occasion once again! Huzzah!
Here’s the thing about panda reproduction: It’s really kind of tricky. A female panda is only in season for between 24 and 72 hours in a YEAR, and then you can’t distinguish between a real pregnancy and a pseudo-pregnancy until, HEY! look at that! there’s a cub! Top that off with the fact that pandas are really …well…chubby to begin with, and a cub at birth weighs about 1/4 pound. Could you tell if a panda was preggers just by looking at her? I don’t think so….
will the pitter patter of little paws soon follow?
Congratulations, once again to Mei Xiang, husband Tian Tian, and of course all the nanny keepers at the National Zoo! It is a happy day indeed.
Meanwhile, back at the Kickstarter ranch, we need at least $434 to make our goal by this thursday at noon. If you were waiting until the last minute, that last minute is here now! If only 18 more people pledge $25, the first book of the Panda Chronicles will be a reality! Huzzah!
This is a day to be the bear!
Bob T. Panda
News of the Panda World: Secret Emails Revealed!
Well the wait is over and it is now known that Mei Xiang is not and possibly was never pregnant. While we are sorrowful for this disappointing news, it didn’t stop us from hacking into Mei’s private email correspondence with other pandas at American zoos. Here is a transcript of a number of communications:
firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear to gracelandpanda@memphiszoo.cute : Hey, YaYa. Guess you heard the news by now. I tried to keep the thing going, but finally, I was just tired of the charade. How goes life in the south? LOL
gracelandpanda@memphiszoo.cute to firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear: I feel your pain. The thing is its just way to hot down here to even think about…well you know. And by the way, just ignore anything Lun Lun writes to you. She’ll pretend she’s sympathetic, but she really just wants to brag.
Firstpanda to gracelandpanda: Thanks for the heads up. I put my phone on voice mail so I don’t have to listen to her. Who cares about Po or Pooh’s toilet training anyway? I’m just hoping they’re not going to come up with some excuse to deport us. It’s not MY fault, if you get my drift….
southernbelle@pandamom.cub to firstpanda: Hey sweetie, I keep getting you’alls machine and I just wanted to send my …condolences. Did I tell you about the cutest thing Po did yesterday? Well, I have to go. A mother’s work and all…bye now!
surferbear@sandiegozoo.beach to firstpanda: Hey man, so sorry about your loss or whatever. We’ll all be meditating and lighting incense for you, that is if I can find some matches. After that little incident in the gift shop, they are keeping a close watch on the fire-sticks. Keep the faith. Peace and love….
Well, that’s all we have time for today. Tune in for more of our clandestine look into the private communications of the American panda populace!
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda
The world is waiting……….
All of us in the panda-sphere are not so patiently waiting for Mei Xiang, the First lady of Pandas in our nations capital to…well, do something. Keepers at the zoo were first hopeful that she was “with cub” but now are not so sure. And yet, she continues with her hormonal hi-jinks while we all hover over our computers waiting and watching. So of course, it’s time for another cartoon.
Welcome to “Mei Watch”!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
“Mei Watch” coming soon to the Panda Channel!
Just wanted to give you a heads up that we are still following the drama at the National Zoo, with our first lady of Pandas! Mei is continuing to engage in hinky behavior. Some would say she is milking the situation for all she is worth.