Those panda moms are some tough cookies. You do NOT want to
Make
them
MAD!
You might just find yourself grounded for life.
Good thing Pinky has her own computer in her room and a Skype account so she can keep in touch with her American Zoo panda compatriots.
But maybe you should be careful what you admit to, Pinky.
Hopefully Larry will start advising her to be a better behaved little panda soon.
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
I am very sorry to tell you of a great tragedy.
Yes, that’s right. Panda Scout cookie Season is over. But it’s not too late for Fabulous Furry Friday to salute the Panda Scout Cookie Drive!
On my honor, I will try…to eat as many cookies as I possibly can….
As you may recall, the Meihem twins are Panda Scouts and have earned many merit badges for such diverse skills as cookie wrangling, sibling rivalry, and hostage taking.
What do you mean “hostage taking” doesn’t have a merit badge? They were very polite.
And who could forget the great Highway Gate incident, when …um…”someone” disrupted traffic to Zoo Cublanta, thus spoiling the sale of the Meihem’s Panda Scout cookies?
Time to call in …Inspector panda!
Don’t you wish you could read the entire Highway-gate Story? You Do? Well, you might consider getting your very own copy of The Panda Chronicles Book 5: Pandapocalypse NOW! which has this whole story and a whole lot more Pinki-tude and Meihem, for your chortling pleasure. Wasn’t that a subtle commercial? I thought so too.
Have a great weekend!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Ooopsie! Here, kitty, kitty! Where are you?
Where does one go when one gets poofed by Pinky? I’m afraid I must admit to a certain amount of irresponsibility. I mean, this is fiction, right? Do I have to have an answer for everything???? Meanwhile, Pinky has to answer to a higher authority for her actions.
Yes: her mom. Just because she is now living on her own in real life, doesn’t mean the same rules apply here.
Now where did that cat go?
Small bears will get into trouble, won’t they?
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
…between moms and baby pandas, especially for all of us watching Bao Bao and her mom Mei Xiang. Let’s be clear here: Pandas do not live in family units, and after cubs reach the point where they can eat bamboo like a big bear, it’s time for them to seek their fortune in the real world.
It is rather disconcerting for the folks watching at home on their panda cams, especially because the relationship between cubs and their mom is so sweet…at least, just before the time mom turns around and runs them off, sometimes quite aggressively. Parting is such sweet sorrow, only in the movies, not among bears.
But that’s in real life, and this is Panda Satire!
Just a reminder: repeat after me: this is fiction.
Does Pinky have a new friend and confidant? Stay tuned, oh panda satire fans!
BTW: I was just interviewed on The Inspokes blog, a blog for writers and illustrators of books for children. I hope you’ll pop over and give my interview about Pandamorphosis a read.
Huzzah!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Next week we take a look at The Giant Panda Zoo Awards ceremony and all your favorite pandas will be there! Will Pinky attempt to wrestle the gold medal for Panda Personality of the Year away from her cousin, Princess Dumpling? Does Babette de Panda have something up her haute couture sleeve to disrupt the ceremony? What skullduggery will Inspector Panda and his very clever assistant Mr. Wu uncover? Did Mei Xiang hide Pinky’s magical wand so she can’t…um…make adjustments to the awards?
Stay tuned till Sunday, when all will be revealed. We thought we would share some of Pinky’s triumphs and moments of glory to get you in the mood.
Uh oh! This year they only got BRONZE in bestie habitat!
“Do you know who I am????” Yeah, we do.
Beware, the power of the paw!
Princess Pinky is drawing a line in the sandbox.
Pinky answers difficult questions from the press in her own way.
Have a Fabulous Furry Friday! And don’t forget, your purchase of all of the Panda Chronicle Books (and Pandamorphosis) helps to keep the panda satire coming your way. Not to mention that you can have panda fun at home seven days a week. Huzzah!
And, if you love the artwork of Pandamorphosis, prints of all the major images from the book are available from my page at The Gratitude Gallery website. Check ’em out! You might also enjoy visiting some of our friends, pandas and not, from our Pandas Love Links page. Tell em we said “Hi!”
Today, our nation’s number one panda, Bao Bao responds to her stunning defeat in this years Giant Panda Zoo Awards. The GPZA is a little like the Acadamy Awards, for pandas, so it’s easy to see why little miss Pinky would be so um…shall we say agitated? by her disappointing showing in this year’s voting.
But first, we have a story of sordid deception, tragedy, sugar overload, unfair advantage and death by chocolate, brought to our attention by one of our alert readers, Ms Jayelle of Brooklyn NY, about some hunting practices that IMHO are just the tiniest bit unfair, not to mention not very sporting. Now before anyone gets their panties in a knot, let me say I am an unashamed carnivore, or I suppose more accurately, omnivore. I have friends and neighbors who hunt deer and elk and stock their freezers to feed their family for the winter.
I say bravo, and that they are more honest eaters than I am, as the only hunting I do is for what’s on sale at our local grocery store. But this tale, from the bear centric area of New Hampshire smacks of unfairness to me. I mean, who doesn’t know that bears love sweets, and that chocolate can kill your dog if he eats enough of it. So, in the spirit of the Panda Chronicles, (meaning that we make fun of stuff, no matter how serious it actually is) here is our response to this story.
If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.
And now, as promised, Princess Pinky’s first response to the news that she did not win the gold medal in the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, (despite her…um…best efforts)
You might want to cover your ears.
Don’t tell me you’re surprised.
We’ll have more from our recorded coverage of the actual Giant Panda Awards ceremony, coming to you on The Panda Channel, host of Zoonooz, in the weeks to come. Stay tuned so you don’t miss it, or better yet, sign up to get new posts three times a week in your inbox. You can also sign up for our monthly (I swear I am going to get to this really soon) Newsletter. Both sign-ups are at the top of the right hand column on all pages, except for the home page.
Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda
The liddle pandas have come in and hung up their coats, taken off their boots, and settled in for a little refreshment! What is a snow day without a steaming cup of cocoa?
Meanwhile, all seems to be quiet on the Northwestern front. Progress is being made on another pending project, The Panda Chronicles Cuppycake Cookbook: Favorite Recipes of the Panda Kindergarten. This is a project that has been in the works (between other projects) for a little over a year, with panda and panda satire aficionado Vicky Vladic, who hails from Australia. You can read more about her over at her blog, VSomethingSpeaks.
You might say that this collaboration is a child of the internet, since I have never been to Australia and I’m pretty sure she’s never been to the Pacific Northwest Washington State. We never would have met, let alone have an easy way to work on a project together, were it not for the world wide cyber living room, where you can find just about anything…even pandas! Stay tuned to this here site, if you like pandas and cuppycakes (and let’s face it, who doesn’t like frosting?)
But now, there are some pandas waiting!
Well, they did hang their coats up.
The way of the princess never runs smoothly.
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
After the events of last week in the rest of the world, is it any wonder that we sensitive types retreat to something a little kinder, a little gentler, and a little furrier? I am of course referring to Pinky’s first snow day. The joy of seeing this round, furry panda cub rolling down hills and romping with her mom is just what we needed to keep from crawling under the covers and never coming out. You can watch her on youtube here.
I hope that the violence and unrest that is happening in Paris settles down. The world seems to be going mad around us. We need more….
pandas.
Meihem, not Mayhem.
What could be cuter than pandas in snow suits? Yes, I know I need help.
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Oh my, our most favorite panda princess has been all over the news, both in the US, but also in Canada, via a youtube video from The Smithsonian. A columnist in the Washingtonian dared to dis the snow covered panda, to the wrath of panda fans everywhere. How dare he say those things about Pinky!
I would never make fun of pandas like that.
I would do it like this:
And it was ever thus….
Stay tuned for more snowy-day fun on Wednesday!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Here we go with days 12, 13, and 14, delayed by the windstorm and power outage (which was finally over at about 1 AM this morning) that commenced Thursday evening, of December 11th. All is well here at headquarters of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire. Well, now it is, anyway. The sun is shining and it was a lovely day to go out and move fallen branches from the yard and driveway to spots that are less inconvenient for them to exist in.
But enough about you and your problems, I hear coming from the cheap seats. Where are all these panda cartoons that you were allegedly working on by candle light while you had nothing better to do, since you couldn’t check your twitter feed ad infinitum?
OK, OK, already. Here’s the next episode of The Case of the Picturesque Panda:
Oh, Inspector Panda! What a surprise!
And for those of you who follow the antics of Bob T. Panda and his Junior Panda Friends on Facebook, you may have seen a notice that Princess Pinky has something dastardly in mind, to perhaps skew the voting in the Giant Zoo Panda Awards.
Pinky, I thought we agreed you wouldn’t do anything naughty.
This will not stand!
A big pandy thank you to all of you who have ordered books this month. Remember, I will make a donation to Pandas International for each copy of Pandamorphosis or any of the Panda Chronicles series books that you buy this month, so now’s the time to buy, buy buy!
We’ll be back sometime tomorrow with the next episode of Inspector Panda and then I have a special Holidays with Pandas surprise (that just popped into my head a few days ago!) Huzzah!
See you tomorrow!
Be the Bear<
Bob T. Panda