Parting is such sweet sorrow…

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…between moms and baby pandas, especially for all of us watching Bao Bao and her mom Mei Xiang. Let’s be clear here: Pandas do not live in family units, and after cubs reach the point where they can eat bamboo like a big bear, it’s time for them to seek their fortune in the real world.

It is rather disconcerting for the folks watching at home on their panda cams, especially because the relationship between cubs and their mom is so sweet…at least, just before the time mom turns around and runs them off, sometimes quite aggressively. Parting is such sweet sorrow, only in the movies, not among bears.

But that’s in real life, and this is Panda Satire!

Just a reminder: repeat after me: this is fiction.

Does Pinky have a new friend and confidant? Stay tuned, oh panda satire fans!

BTW: I was just interviewed on The Inspokes blog, a blog for writers and illustrators of books for children. I hope you’ll pop over and give my interview about Pandamorphosis a read.

Huzzah!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Who you calling fat (Tuesday)?

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Yes, it’s Fabulous Furry friday, where we look back at our favorite examples from the Panda Chronicles archives! Huzzah!

This week holds several occasions of note, the first being Fat Tuesday (or as we like to call it around here, Extra Fluffy Tuesday), The Chinese Lunar New Year, and coming up on Sunday, The Academy Awards.

A note about the discrepancy as to whether this is the Year of the Sheep, Goat, or Ram: our friend over at Vsomethingspeaks wrote an excellent essay on just why there is no absolute agreement on this year’s designation. You can read all about it here, as well as get a new delicious sounding recipe! We stand our portrayal of the Year of the Sheep…because…um…pandas in sheep costumes, right?

Here’s our salute to Fat Tuesday!

We call it “extra Fluffy Tuesday” around here.

Thank you for that interesting and yet wildly inaccurate history, Bob!

And here’s our nod to the Academy Awards:

What will Christopher Robin say about this?

After this weeks guest appearance of Richard Parker, how could we not celebrate both The Life of Pooh as well as The Life of Pie?

The Life of PIE….get it? *chortle chortle*

Have a fun filled weekend, everyone!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

More Selfies with Tigers; an update

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We recently received an update on the question of the wisdom of taking selfies with tigers, thanks to alert reader, mystery writer, and panda satire fan Sandra Parshall. It seems that there is a “thing” about posing for selfies with wild animals. Maybe people think it makes them look cool, or sexy, but one wonders how sexy you would look with a bear or a tiger clamped onto your arm. Or your head.

Really, just don’t do it.

New York state has decided that they needed legislation to protect people from their own…um…oh heck, I’m just going to say it…stupidity. Sigh.

Here’s our original tribute to selfies with tigers:

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

You know we’re just kidding about this, right?

There was a bright side to this story, and that was Mehitabel got to be in a cartoon with one of her “peers” with no pandas! Huzzah! Not to worry, the pandas will be back on Friday.

Be the bear,
Bob T. Panda

Salute! To the Year of the Sheep

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Once again, the panda kindergarten stages their annual Chinese New Year’s pageant, this year we salute the Year of the Sheep! I know! I know! Are you already picturing little chubby panda kindergarteners dressed up as fluffy little sheep? I know I am.

Of course, in some interpretations, it is The Year of the Ram or the Year of the Goat.

Just saying.

Look out!!!! Oh, those triplets!

Really, there is nothing cuter than an upside down panda. Except maybe an upside down panda in a sheep costume.

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Happy Valentine’s Day…

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From the Panda Chronicles. as you may know, Valentine’s Day is the gateway to…wait for it…the Panda Season of LOOOOOOOOOOVE. So for your fabulous Furry friday entertainment, I bring you some of my favorites from The Panda Season of looooove. Now you can have a happy Valentine’s Day with pandas!

Huzzah!

A panda by any other name, would smell…well, they would just smell…

I hope people haven’t had enough of silly love songs!

Did he really have to tell them THAT????

…because Babette hasn’t appeared lately

I smell frosting!

And along with the Panda Season of LOOOOOOve, it also means that mommee and me time for young pandas is coming to an end. Remember when Mr. Wu was about to get his own “big boy” room?

Too soon, too soon, a Wu and his mom will go their separate ways…

And so it goes! Have a laugh on me!
Be the Bear, ya’all!
Bob T. Panda

More Pandas in the News

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I did promise you that I had a veritable plethora of panda tales (or was that tails?…no matter) and here is another absolutely true story which, coincidentally enough, is about pandas! Huzzah!

I swear, I can’t make this stuff up.

Today’s story is a tale of treachery, of impostor pandas, of impersonation of their black and white fluffy goodness. Is that a panda I see before me?

Apparently not.

Here’s the actual news story, so that you know I am not making this up. That includes the quote by the spokesperson for the Animal Protection Party. Just saying. Quite frankly, Mehitabel has way too many rights around my house, if you ask me.

Well, it LOOKED like a panda…

Stay tuned for more true stories and the panda kindergarten’s Chinese New Year Celebration coming up next week!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Pandas in the News

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Those of you who have been following the exploits of Bob and the panda kindergarten for some time know that I am exceedingly fond of real news stories that either feature pandas or can be subverted to somehow be about pandas, even when they are not.

Are you following all that?

Anyway, our first story comes to us courtesy of alert readers Sarajane Eppley and Karen Willie, who both alerted me to this story about pandas’ relationship with themselves, or more accurately their reflections in mirrors. BBC Earth brings us this story about a peculiar panda particular!

This is a job for panda satire!

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is that handsome panda I see before me?

Thanks again to Karen and Sarajane for alerting me to this story. Tune in on Wednesday for another story of pandas in the news!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Chinese New Year Preview

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It’s almost time for Chinese new Year, and once again the panda kindergarten will present their Salute to the New Year. That means it’s time for encore presentations of previous pandy kindy extravaganzas! Huzzah!

The year of the bunny…..

Oh that panda kindergarten!

And then there was The Year of the Dragon….

the year of the dragon, panda kindergarten

Huzzah! it’s the year of the Dragon!

Not to mention another of Bob’s literary attempts at greatness, inspired by the Year of the Dragon….

What do you mean by “was?”

And then we skipped the year of the Snake, because…um…snakes?

So then it was on to the Year of the Horse. Huzzah!

Huzzah! It’s The year of Pandas on Horsies!

I want to know when it will be the Year of the Panda? I mean, come on…pandas come from China, and yet we have no year of the PANDA!!!!!!!????

Mehitabel’s note: Pfft! Seems to me that around here it is ALWAYS the year of the panda. Get over it!

So stay tuned for this years salute to The Year of the Sheep! And (here comes the commercial!) remember that it can be the year of the panda everyday when you support The Panda Chronicles by buying our books! Huzzah! Thank you all who support us this way.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

The Giant Panda Zoo Awards Part 2

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We couldn’t just leave poor Princess Dumpling with Pinky on top of her wrestling, (or trying to, anyway,) trying to wrestle the award for Panda personality of the year away from Princess Dumpling, the rightful owner. Apparently winning the silver medal was not good enough for Pinky, and she..um…tried to redistribute the awards. Actually, she probably wanted all three awards for Panda Personality and who can blame her?

Princess Dumpling is no dope, however, and she seems to have the lowdown on Pinky and her methods for world domination. Meanwhile, Mr. Wu is probably laughing up the sleeve of his trench coat as Pinky comes face to face with this years terrible trio of interlopers.

Wait a minute…triplets??????

I’m sure the voting system for the Giant Panda Zoo Awards is quite secure and impervious to devious panda perpetrators, isn’t it?

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

The Giant Panda Zoo Awards Part 1

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Welcome to the event you have all been waiting for! No, it’s not the Super Bowl, although I have heard that it might be happening sometime soon.* Yes, it’s the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, with your hosts, Babette de Panda, and the actual creator of the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, Jeroen Jacobs. I warned him that I draw pandas much better than I draw people, so if he looks like maybe he might be a panda, I apologize in advance.

Unlike the real world where pandas don’t get much opportunity to socialize with one another, in the world of panda satire and panda stories, pandas really get around a lot. I know, I know, we anthropomorphize pandas and all our pets as well, but heck… why not? Why shouldn’t pandas get to travel and attend award ceremonies? Don’t answer that.

Meanwhile, on with the awards ceremony!

Huzzah!

Introducing Princess Dumpling

We apologize to anyone who is offended by gratuitous panda butt depictions…oh wait…no we don’t.

* Actually, we do know that the Super Bowl is being played today. We even know who is playing!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda