Don’t Make Pinky Mad!

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Why, oh why, did Mehitabel not listen to me? I warned her about picking that precocious princess of panditude for her temporary co-host. Pick Mr. Wu, I suggested. he’s become a responsible sub-adult panda, as his work with Inspector Panda has shown. But no. You had to go for the big star, the Smithsonian icon, figuring it would boost Zoonooz’s ratings for sweeps week.

And look where it got you.

I was really afraid this was going to happen.

I was really afraid this was going to happen. We warned you about that Ides of March thingie, didn’t we?

I can’t help it. I love to draw Pinky when she gets all upset, and…um…poofy. My bad. But where did she go? I guess I’ll find out when you do. That’s what happens when you make Pinky mad. Bad stuff.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Even more journalistic follies

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If there is one thing we just cannot abide (the Dude, notwithstanding) it is people or …um…pandas, getting credit for something they did not do. But that is just what is going on here at Zoonooz headquarters. Some one is going to have to put a stop to these journalistic follies!

And then there is accidentally confessing to something you did do, but hoping that no one will believe you.

We KNEW that was you!

We KNEW that was you!

Is there more Meihem ahead?

What do you think?

Meanwhile, the panda season of looooove is heating up! More from the PSofL soon! And don’t forget! Today is the Ides of March. We don’t know what that is, but it sounds scary. Beware!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

The Panda Season of Love has Begun!

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News from the San Diego Zoo, Department of panda whoopee reports that Bai Yun and her favorite stud muffin, Gao Gao, had a romantic encounter today. Mr Gao Gao has an advantage over most zoo pandas, in that he was wild born and so has better instincts and ….um…technique than…um…some other pandas we could name.

So in honor of the panda season of love, let’s have a few love pandas from the archives!

A panda by any other name, would smell...well, they would just smell...

A panda by any other name, would smell…well, they would just smell…

Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy

Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy

And who could forget the controversy surrounding figuring out who fathered miss Pinky?

Who's the bear???!!!

Who’s the bear???!!!

And what panda doesn’t need a little inspiration from some appropriate reading material?

We really need to more thoroughly check the panda kindergarten's reading list.

We really need to more thoroughly check the panda kindergarten’s reading list.

And what better way to celebrate the panda season of love, than buying all the books from the Panda Chronicles series. Um…just saying.

Have a great weekend!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Are You Still Here?

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Are you still here?…That’s what Mehitabel must be saying to herself about now. Why didn’t I hold auditions? Why did I say okay, when Mei Xiang called me and asked if I could give Pinky a job, just a little something to help her through her transition to big girl panda?

But she didn’t, and now she is paying the price, of having a co-host with a big personality. Maybe Bob could come back early…I’m sure he’s learned his lesson by now, don’t you think?

Archie, is that you?

Archie, is that you?

This story is also courtesy of Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me. What would I do without them?

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

The Panda Voice

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In my attempt to be not just a visual artist, but also a writer, one of the crucial concepts I have learned about, whether you are writing fiction or non-fiction, is that of voice. Everybody has one, apparently. I think maybe it’s a little like listening to your own outgoing message on your answering machine. Is that me? Boy do I sound dorky!

In these pages and in my cartoons, I strive for the panda voice, of each individual panda (and cat!) character that I invent as I sit in my studio, drawing and chortling to myself, (quietly, or sometimes not so quietly.) I think I should give myself a big, furry paw pat on the back for achieving this goal, because of some of the comments that people share with me here and on Fezbook. You get me! You really get me!

Huzzah!

Mehitabel did NOT approve this cartoon.

Mehitabel did NOT approve this cartoon. I really did hear the story on Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me

Let me also add that some of my faithful readers must be looking into their crystal binky balls, because some of their suggestions, fears, and suppositions are not far from some of the upcoming cartoons, which I have been working on ahead of my usual last minute schedule! You have been paying attention, so give yourselves a big, furry paw pat on the back, and then go have a cuppycake. You have embraced your inner panda!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda!

BTW I don’t want anyone to forget that today ends daylight losing time, and so I must include the panda kindergarten salute to Daylight savings time!

Fabulous Furry Friday KNOWS that this is one of your favorites!

Fabulous Furry Friday KNOWS that this is one of your favorites!

Fabulous Furry Friday Presents Great News!

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OK, unlike most of what we talk about here, this is totally serious and we are not making this up! The most recent panda census results are in and the wild panda population is up, possibly by as much as 17%. This is great news, because, well…pandas!

Not that we don’t make fun of serious things like the panda census. Of course, some people (and you know who you are, bro) might point out that China’s relationship to statistics is not um…entirely unlike that of the panda kindergarten.

Do we have to count panda adoption fees?

Do we have to count panda adoption fees?

Is it any wonder Bob has a sharp pain behind his ears?

And here is more panda fun…because…um…pandas!

Always read the directions...

Always read the directions…

And because our heads are filled with thoughts of cuppycakes….

I have extra frosting!

I smell frosting!

And because it’s that time of year….

Will Bob ever learn? will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Will Bob ever learn? will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Let’s put pandas to work!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

We proudly support Pandas International, because without pandas, there could be no panda satire!

Journalistic Follies part 2

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You didn’t think we would just abandon Bob without resolving his attempt to revise history, claiming he was the unsung hero of Pinky’s infamous “Occupy Hemlock” sit-in, did you?

You did?

Ha!

We leave no journalistic follies unheralded, especially not those of Bob T. Panda! Did you miss Sunday’s episode? You can read it here.

And look who Bob's suspension replacement is! Huzzah!

And look who Bob’s suspension replacement is! Huzzah!

Huzzah! It is her own Princess self, Princess Pinky! Will Mehitabel come to regret this choice?

What do you think?

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Journalistic Follies

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A couple of weeks ago, a story hit the news: an anchorman misremembered or misspoke or what ever you want to call it, but anyway, he claimed he did something that didn’t happen. Since then a few other news show hosts and politicians have joined in with their own versions of revisionist histories. Here at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we are hardly in a position to cast the first (if any) stones, as our memory is hardly what it used to be.

Bob has his own journalistic follies to contend with.

Oh, Bob, you didn't really say that, did you?

Oh, Bob, you didn’t really say that, did you?

Leave it to Mehitabel to keep things on track!

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday Salutes International Polar Bear Day

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Yes, there really is an International Polar Bear Day. There is also Take Your Cat to Work Day, Intergalactic Cuppycake Day, and Panda Awareness Day. Okay, some of those I’m a little fuzzy on, but today really is International Polar Bear Day.

Therefore, we thought it was high time we shared as many of the polar bear cartoons we could find in our archives! Huzzah!

Oh those polar bears! What jokers they are!

Oh those polar bears! What jokers they are!

Mr Polar Bear! It's not time for lunch yet!

Mr Polar Bear! It’s not time for lunch yet!

Bob still likes to get out in the field once in a while.

Polar Bears are really, really, REALLY big, compared to pandas!

Pandas using performance enhancing substances? Say it isn't so!

Pandas using performance enhancing substances? Say it isn’t so!

Have a happy International Polar Bear Day! Where being the bear REALLY  means something!
Bob T. Panda

 

I Won’t Grow Up!

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Panda Satire fans should be reassured, that like many fictional characters, (I, as the omniscient narrator and manipulator of my imaginary panda universe have decreed,) Princess Pinky will remain a willful, out of control, delightful toddler in these pages. Well, I might let her age a little bit, but the best jokes are (for the moment, at least) predicated on her cubbyhood status.

DC panda fans have occasionally pointed out that there is a mouse or two that shares the panda habitat, and they have named him “Larry.” What better advisor could Pinky have as she transitions to her big girl life? Her own Jiminy Cricket, so to speak.

What could be better than a bear and her mouse?

What could be better than a bear and her mouse?

Children’s literature is full of characters that won’t grow up, Peter Pan being the most famous. Why should Pinky be any different?

If you missed it on Sunday, I hope you’ll hop over to Inspokes to read my interview about Pandamorphosis. There be Pandas, indeed!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Don’t forget! Friday is International Polar Bear Day! Join us as we present encore presentations of our polar bear collection!