Category Archives: the essential pandaness of being

Nah Nah Nah Naaaah Nah It’s International Panda Day

Oh that Panda Kindergarten….not for nothing are they known as nuisances throughout the nation. No nagging doubts about nonsensical nitwits here!

Meanwhile, Bob tries to elevate the tenor of ZooNooz by adding stories of scientific interest. And yes, there really was an article about this in the Smithsonian. (Of course I didn’t read it, I just absconded with the headline for its comic possibilities, n’est pas?)

No nonsense to be found here!

Meanwhile, I have been dropping hints about the release of Pandamorphosis, my wordless picture book, which was supposed to debut today. There have been a couple of bumps in the road, but Pandamorphosis cannot be stopped, even if it can be delayed.

I will spare you the gorier details, but let’s just say, for various reasons, the publisher who had been going to publish Pandamorphosis no longer seemed to be the best home for my little bears. But, it was an excellent detour, as I acquired my book designer, who did a marvelous job making me look better than I am. Because said publisher uses a printer that I have worked with on all the Panda Chronicles books, I know what the quality of the books will be and through said Panda Chronicles, I have a multitude (OK, a small multitude but nevertheless) of fabulous panda loving fans who are poised to bring glory to Pandamorphosis. That’s you guys, in case you were wondering.

I am now planning for Pandamorphosis to be let loose on the world the first week of June. This gives me more time to proof the book, plan the panda-ing and make some cuppycakes! And here is another preview of what the pandas of Pandamorphosis have in store for you:

Let Loose the Bears!

Today was brought to you by the letter “N” which is just two letters away from “P” which is going to be a very panda-ful day here at the Panda Chronicles, where all letters bring pandas to mind. Thanks to the A to Z for letting the pandas come to play! There’s a very interesting post on the history of Murano glass over at The Art of Not Getting Published, with my pick of the day.

Be the Bear
Bob T Panda

The Kindness of Strangers

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Our letter for the day is the Letter “K” as in ‘kay mommee…pinky needs her wand NOW.

“I have always relied on the kindness of strangers”... has always been one of my favorite movie lines. But it is true that people have been extraordinarily kind the last few days. Whether you are talking about the support I have received for my new book to be, Pandamorphosis, or the sympathy expressed at the death of a dear friend. Thank you all.

so, oK! “Kickstarter” starts with “K” as does “Kindergarten” and the panda kindergarten kicked kitty butt when they “helped” with our Kickstarter Kampaigns.

Get ready…….

Says Babette de Panda: “It’s all about MOI` “

Ha ha! George Clooney… where do those little pandas get these ideas?

Take a tip from Mr. Kitty and Keep being the Kat…um…I mean the bear.

Thanks for the A to Z folks who have let the Kindergarten run amok among a wider audience. You is da bears.

Bob T. Panda
“we’ll do better next week!”

Humor and Heartbreak

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Monday was harrowing. Hurtful things happened. Some can be put right, but others…not so much. Hours crept by in a darkened room, a habitat for heartbreak.

Light beams from a reflecting pool outside the window shimmered on the ceiling. I imagine my friend, following them and being absorbed as pure light.

Hello.

Goodbye….oh, “G” was yesterday. Today we go about the business of harvesting the hoopla, making headway, healing with humor. Some might think that humor is unseemly at a time like this. Hooey, I hypothesize. To heal, you must happen upon the things that help heal your heart. For me, that is humor and happiness, and of course, pandas. Jude loved the pandas, and more than that, she loved what they did for me. So, Panda On, I say. Somewhere, she is happy.

Today is brought to you by the letter “H”

As you know, pandas are big fans of Shakespeare.

Over at the A to Z….my pick of the day is The Ninja Librarian, because let’s face it, could anyone keep order in a library better than a ninja? Put that cell phone away NOW!!!!

Thank you again for all your kind words and comments. My heart is still aching, but pandas, tea (OK, scotch) and sympathy work wonders.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Anticipation….

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Welcome to the first day of the A to Z challenge, where audacious avatars attempt to astound all our altruistic audience, ASAP. Alliterative alliances abound, aching to astonish, as all abide.

Today is brought to you by the letter “A”

Anticipation!

If you want to check out more of the MANY A to Z challenge participants, you can find them here. I can’t wait to check out some of the other alphabetarians.

Thanks for being the bear!
Bob T. Panda

The plot thickens….

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It looks like the twinkies have arrived at the National Zoo.

Cue the music for the last scene shootout in any spaghetti-O western you might care to name. The avengers have ridden in to town and they ain’t gonna leave till they get retribution.

Or, at least a cuppycake.

Howdy, Mr Kitty, kindly tell us where a tired old cowpoke can get a boo beer and a cuppycake.

Will the girls join forces to take over the Pandy Kindy? Will Bert and Ernie remember to call their mom and let them know they arrived safely? Will the Pandy Kindy ever be the same?

Tune in next week as our story continues.

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

The Panda Kindergarten is very talented….

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Once again, our newest panda kindergarteners take to the stage to show you just how talented they are.

Fresh from their victory in the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, the Cub-lanta twins, Bert and Ernie, share the stage with (well, as much as she’ll let them) none other than Princess Pinky!

we are friendly, not ambitious!

Meanwhile, over in Kickstarter land, Pandamorphosis is still going strong. As we move into the final 4 and a half days, you still have time to pledge your support to bring this project to it’s triumphant close. Huzzah!

pandamonium ensues!

Support Pandas International with your purchase of Panda Chronicles Books 1, 2 or 3

You also have that same 4 1/2 days to support Pandas International, with your purchase of any of the 3 Panda Chronicles books. Huzzah again!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday ‘bears’ tribute…

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…to some of my guiding lights of writing and illustrating for children.

You know how sometimes someone plants a little seed of an idea in your head, and for a while you don’t notice that it’s growing. Say for maybe, for example, 20 years or so, and then one day, it just springs forth with a great big duh!?

My friend, writer and teacher, Deb Lund and her husband Karl Olsen used to house sit for my landlords, when Deb and Karl first moved to Whidbey Island. I got to know them and they came to know and admire my artwork. One day Deb said, “You know, you would be really good at illustrating children’s books.” I said something like, “yeah, yeah, in my spare time,” because I was kind of on a fine art mission, and I didn’t want to get distracted.

So, fast forward 20 years and one day, after I had been panda-ing around with my cartoons for a year or so, it popped into my head that It. Was. Time, and so I called Deb up and said, “It’s time!!! NOW what do I do????” Deb pointed me in the direction of Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) and I went to a conference, started paying attention, took a class with Deb, and soon Pandamorphosis started on it’s long journey.

Don’t you just hate it when your refrigerator is infested by…pandas? Especially when you need a snack for a long journey!

There are some other big influences in my trip to writing and illustrating for children, but they are people I have never met. (OK, one of them signed the book I bought, but that doesn’t really count.) The author/illustrators I consider to be my primary guiding lights are Chris Van Allsburg, and David Wiesner. They create art and stories that inspire me. The paintings they create for their books are brilliant in their own right, and when put in service of whatever tale they are telling, pure magic happens.

When I was making the rounds of publishers and agents with Pandamorphosis, one agent who turned me down commented, “don’t you think the artwork is too good for children’s books?”

‘Scuse me?
I don’t think that’s possible.

So I will try, to do my duty, to art and illustration, to aspire to the quality of art and the rich and quirky story telling, of my heroes.

And here is a Fabulous Furry Friday Funny, cause, like, I did NOT forget!

And just how did the panda kindergarten get her address?

What’s that stuff getting all over my paws? Oh…it’s frosting!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Huzzah for Pandas International!

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Because Mr. Wu got soooooo much screen time in December, he has graciously allowed us to pre-empt his weekly forum today. (XLW: what dat mean grasshusly? is dat ’bout bamboo?)

We are big fans of Pandas International for many reasons. First, they do stuff for pandas (and as we have said before, without pandas, there could be no panda satire!) But also, for some strange reason, they think we’re pretty funny! So of course we can’t help but jump up and down and say, “They like me! They really like me!”

They have asked us to share some of our cartoons with them, for Christmas cards and for their annual auction program. When given the challenge of coming up with a cartoon for a fairly straight/serious subject, it is fun to see where my mind takes me. Last year’s funding focus was for enrichment items to keep the pandas entertained. Of course I had to have my own point of view:

I am such a dork.

This year, they would like to help fund laboratory equipment and so I came up with this idea for a cartoon for their program.

Can you calibrate the cuppycake?

But this was not quite enough help to lend to pandas, and so I thought I’d have a special promotion. To help support the work that Pandas International does, I have decided (because, you know, I’m the decider around here) that for each and every Panda Chronicles book sold through either Amazon or my Createspace stores during the month of February 2014, I will donate $1 to Pandas International. Really!

The panda Chronicles supports Pandas International

It’s just like the panda says! Buy my book and real pandas benefit!

So, if you were thinking about adding to your collection of Panda Chronicles books, February would be a great time to do it. There are now 3 books in the series, starting with The Panda Chronicles Book 1: Your Brain on Pandas, moving on to The Panda Chronicles Book 2: Wheel…of….Pandas! and my most recent release, The Panda Chronicles Book 3: Nobody Expects the Panda Kindergarten! and soon, very soon, maybe even before the end of February (no pressure, of course) The Panda Chronicles Book 4: The Book of Wu, which contains all the cartoons to date starring Mr. Wu! It will start with his early days in the den and continue with all five of his extended play adventure stories! Huzzah!

I know I always say this, but this really is my best book yet.

So…support pandas, buy my books and be there bear!
Bob T. Panda

What we learn from listening to the news….

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I think I get some of my best ideas from listening to the news when I’m driving around in the cubvertable. There are so many things IRL that are just begging to be made fun of, if you ask me! (You were going to ask me weren’t you?)

Be that as it may, today’s cartoon was inspired by a news story about how there is now this backlash against excessive photoshopping of models and celebrities in all those glossy magazines and videos. I get their point. It makes an impossible standard for real, actual people to measure themselves against. This is a major problem for young folks, whose self images are always under intense scrutiny.

I’m ready for my close-up…um..I am, aren’t I?

I agree in principle, however, if I was ever being photographed for a magazine, I would have to insist on some pretty major photoshopping in order to appear in print! For the record, I don’t think any of Princess Pinky’s photos or videos have been altered. she is. Just. That. Cute.

Hope you are having a happy Sunday! Hanging back, having a few bootinis and just being the bear!

Huzzah!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Pandas on the move part two….

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It has been an exciting week in pandyland…the Giant Panda Zoo Award winners were announced, (Princess Pinky: WHAT do you MEAN I din’t win? i demand a recount!!!!!) and San Diego Zoo’s current number one son is now home alone as his brother (the former number one son) has headed to a new destiny in China.

I couldn’t resist one last farewell scene.

Get out your hankies.

Yun Zi leaves his San Diego Home for China

Leaving the nest is never easy.

Coming soon, exiting news from The Panda Chronicles in support of Pandas International!

And in other Panda Satire news….Those who receive my newsletter (what? you mean you haven’t subscribed yet? Go up to the form that says: Get Even More Pandas, put ‘cher email address in there and then you’ll know before everyone else!) know that I am working on a cookbook with author and Che de Cuppycake Vicky Vladic! She is writing (and testing!) the recipes and I will be doing the illustrations. We don’t know exactly when it will be finished, but you might want to up your cuppycake consumption, so you will be ready when The Panda Chronicles Cuppycake Cookbook hits the shelves of your local and virtual bookstores.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda