Tag Archives: zoonooz

Are You Talking to Me?

Why, yes, I am! While we continue to marvel at the level of dysfunction that is emanating from You Know Who and out of our nation’s capitol, isn’t it reassuring to know that panda satire is alive and well?

Before we get to today’s celebration of cats behaving badly (as opposed to bears behaving badly) let’s get some shameless promotion out of the way. As of now, all the Panda Chronicles books are now available as ebooks. While personally, I am more of a print book person myself, ebooks are a way you can ALWAYS have Pinky, Bubba, and the rest of the gang (don’t forget WU!) with you all the time, wherever you go.

As an added bonus, if you’ve already gotten the books from Amazon, you can get the ebooks for only $1.99 each! (this only applies to Amazon sales. If you bought it directly from me, this does not apply.) A sweet deal, to say the least! Through the end of the year, all the ebooks (if you haven’t bought the print books already) are $3.99, so if you’ve been holding off getting the print editions because acorns are scarce on the ground or your book cases are full (we know how that goes) here’s an opportunity to have some panda fun and support panda satire! I’ll be raising the prices a bit in January, just so you know!

You can visit my Book Table page for the direct links to the ebooks! Thanks for supporting Panda Satire!

And now, on with today’s feature presentation!

Lock that cat up, for crying out loud!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

Just how disordered is YOU KNOW WHO’s personality?

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Pretty disordered, as far as I can see, if the tweets coming during and after John McCain’s funeral are any indication. How many ways can we say, “This is NOT about you”? Of course President Obama’s eulogy was brilliant, and for a moment I did not hate George W; I thought he gave a wonderful eulogy. Although there were definitely some very pointed comparisons to the current administration, most of the rebukes came in the form of recounting McCain’s good qualities and dedication to service, justice and the Constitution.

If you can’t stand to be compared, maybe YOU need to do better, Donnie.

So let’s get on with the show!

Someone forgot to take their meds today, I think.

Once again, Pinky guesses right on the nose!

Panda ON
Bob T Panda

I BET I HAVE MORE PERSONALITY DISORDERS THAN YOU

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Ahem….didn’t mean to go all SHOUTYCAPS on you, but these are disquieting times, are they not? So, while we catch up in Pandyland Studios on all sorts of things, let’s have another episode of Name That Personality Disorder, the *new* game show that everyone (okay, well, me, anyway) is talking about!

And we know who is the most disordered personality ever, don’t we? DON’T WE???????????

Ahem…

Next to Mittens, we all look pretty normal, don’t we?

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

For those of you who have access to the top secret page, there is a new update!

It is the birthday season of Bebe Maurice!

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We are taking a short break from Pinky in Wonderland (don’t worry! She will be back) to share some ‘toons about OTHER pandas (Pinky: what? there are OTHER pandas? dis can’t be right! plus dere is dat “share” word again! dis will not stand!!!!!!) It is time to celebrate the first birthday of France’s first baby panda, Bebe Maurice! people are saying, “Bebe Maurice needs an outfit! He needs a raison detre’! Or a raisin cookie! Whatebber!”

Here he is, in a three part special presentation!

Of COURSE he would be an artist! But what are the secrets of his maman?

Happy Bearday, Bebe Maurice!

A note about buying my books on Amazon: I was reading a post on the Digital Reader, one of my favorite website/blogs for what’s what in the publishing and tech industries, and Nate wrote an article about used books that are sold by third party sellers via the Amazon website. For those who are looking for a bargain, buying used books is a great way to add to your TBR pile without breaking the bank. The interesting thing was that some used books were selling for HUGE prices, way beyond the cover price of the book!

So, of course I had to go look…

I don’t make any money when a third party seller sells my book as used. If it is a lesser price, and you trust the seller (Like a friends of the library sale) I say go for it. But I’ve seen used books for sale (mine, I’m talking about) for higher than the cover price of a new book. This is nuts, in my opinion. There was one listed at over $500 (seriously nuts!) If you want to pay that much for one of my books, contact me and I will sell you an extremely overpriced book! (Just kidding. I think)

If you want to support me, buy a new book directly Amazon, so I get paid. I wish they were in independent bookstores so you could support them, but they are not. It would cost me more in time and money to get them there, as an independent publisher, than I would make from them. Hopefully, this will change when my graphic novel and picture books get picked up and published. Pseudo thumbs crossed!

If you want to buy a set of my 8 books, signed, directly from me, we can do that too. And you can always support my work via my Pandreon page! Pandas are standing by!

And in case you didn’t know, it is time for the Tour de France! Just in time for Bebe Maurice’s Bearday! Huzzah!

Didn’t we tell you not to do this?

Viva le Panda!
Bob T Panda!

Fabulous Furry Friday…um I mean FriBEI!!!!

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We are headed in to the high season of the panda birthday season, and it is never too early to start celebrating the July 29th birthday of the one, the only, the most adorable panda EBBER, the real Wu Self! He was my first baby panda, and so he’ll always be most special to me. Pinky may rant and rage about this, but what can I say? My heart will always belong to Wu!

Let’s get started! WuWuWuWu WU-HOOOOOOO!

“Howdy do! I’m Mr. Wu! Who are you?”

“Wu calls his dance, ‘Ode to a Weaf’ “

Thank you all for coming! Buy my book here!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of BooBeer!

“You are right and Wu is wrong…I’ll never do it again, mommy.”

You can read all about ALL of Mr. Wu’s adventures in his very own (almost Pinky free) book, The Panda Chronicles Book 4: The Book of Wu, available at a computer terminal near you!

And be sure to check out my new Pandreon Page, for those of you who would like to do more to support panda satire! It comes with a super secret page just for panda satire supporters!

Keep supporting panda satire, calling your Congressional representatives, and fighting fascism and injustice! It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

BE THE BEAR!
Bob T -not-an-enemy-of-the-people- Panda

Fabulous Furry FriBei the 13th

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From now on, Fabulous Furry Friday will be known as Fabulous Furry FriBei, in honor of our favorite DC Panda boy, Bei Bei, known to his Panda Chronicle Fans as Bubba!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, an alert Twidder friend posted this news about three suspected rhino poachers being…wait for it…eaten by lions! The original story I saw was by The New York Post, which is sometimes…um… of questionable veracity, but when I searched for the story this morning, I found citations by the NY Times and the BBC, among others, so, I’m going with it! Of course, that brings to mind this group of ‘toons chronicling another instance of animals taking matter into their own paws.

Karma is such a bitch!

What goes around, comes around.

You just can’t trust crocodiles.

Don’t be endangered, be dangerous

And our favorite…Whatever Happened to KittySue?

Want to know how KittySue “disappeared? Buy my book The Pinky Defense and find out! Buy the rest of them while your at it! Paper doesn’t grow on trees, you know! 😀

We are heading in to American Panda birthday season! Stay tuned to celebrate all our junior pandas!

While we are on the topic of making the world safer for animals, we also must bid a not so fond farewell to Scott Pruitt, former “head” of the EPA (Eradication of Population Agency) as his petty (and not so petty) alleged thievery got to be too embarrassing for #45 in the run up to the 2018 elections. Never fear, because you know who wants to nominate an actual coal industry lobbyist to the post. It’s not like we thought things were going to get better, right?

#PandasResist
Bob T Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday Presents…

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I’m sure there are people who have most of this week off, or at least part of it off any way, because of the July 4th holiday. That is not the case here, because
A) I am self employed
B) If I took a week off people would be like, “where are my pandas??? I NEED my PANDAS!!!!!!

But don’t cry for me Argentina…

If I had a week off, what in the heck would I do with it? Draw pandas? Clean my house (nah…never that! How do you think I have so much time to draw pandas?)

Meanwhile, here is a holiday classic for the 4th of July!

uh. oh.

In addition to the #secondcivilwarletter posts over at Twidder, we couldn’t help but notice a certain Senator lamenting that lack of civility and a perfidious preponderance of profanity (pretty good alliteration, wouldn’t you say?) So, in answer, we offer this ‘toon!

Well *bleep* and take your *bleep* and stick it *bleep*!!!!

And of course, once again, it is time for the Tour d’France to take place, and we have this to say about that, as well as other selfie opportunities!

Hey! Get out of the way!

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

You know we’re just kidding about this, right?

AAAAAAhhhHHHHHH!

I really had no idea what she was up to.

And of course, who could forget Pinky’s visit to the White House?

Mei should not be getting all excited like this in her condition!

Meanwhile, the National Zoo is on Mei Watch. We hope she has a happy, healthy cubby (or two!) but no matter what, we hope that she will continue being her lovable self right in DC. There have been reports that Bao Bao herself might be on pregnancy watch. We shall see!

#PandasResist
Bob T Panda
Captain of the Cuppycake Brigade
Second Civility War

Oh, for a Friday that would be Fabulous again.

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So…if I went to bed, turned out the lights, with the covers over my head, and I shut my eyes really really really really tightly, when I woke up in the morning, would all that has been going on, turn out to be just a bad dream?

No…I didn’t think so.

The atrocities are piling up too quickly for me to discuss here, but if you really want to have them spelled out for you (intelligently and insightfully) in one place, check out Amy Siskind’s podcast The Weekly List, accessible from the website of the same name. Other podcasts I’m listening to are Pod Save America, Lovett or Leave it, as well as the rebroadcasts of The Rachel Maddow Show. I’m not sure whether listening to these things is helping my mental health, but I do feel a lot better informed. News and analysis from people who are smart, funny, and knowledgeable about politics. I know no one here watches Foxy News.

But enough reality already! Let’s have some pandas, as we await the really important news of the day: Is Mei Xiang going to have another cubby or two?

we are still hoping for a panda cub trifecta

Hey! watch where you put that torch!

Despite the fact that Bob is still wearing his vacation outfit, he’s back and ready to report!

Sometimes real life news stories make it Just. Too. Easy

Foxxy “News” lies like a rug.

Well *bleep* and take your *bleep* and stick it *bleep*!!!!

Don’t let you know who take all the whippy cream!

Pandas RESIST!!!!
Bob T see you on the barricades Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday

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Oh my…I’m running on empty here, as I’m sure many of you are too. I have some ideas about raising some money to help the efforts at the border to help these kids and parents who have been forcibly separated, but it’s going to have to wait till our Sunday post.

Meanwhile, we do need a little humor to get us through this, so here it is:

let there be cake!

Or how about some cuppycakes?

Panda middle school!

2009 panda kindergarten class

THIS is your brain on pandas. Any questions?

Here come the pandas!

Reports of possible cubby activity in DC have been coming in to my Twidder and Fezbook feeds. Let’s hope no one tells ICE or the Predator in Chief.

Pandas #RESIST!
Bob T Panda

The Meihems Will Not Take This Lying Down

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“No good can come of allowing other pandas to have opinions”

~Princess Pinky in her recent book: World Domination the Princess Pinky Way

Pinky might be of the opinion that the Meihems have a unfair advantage, what with being twins and more than a month older than Pinky. She could possibly have a point, because from the beginning, they have given as good as they’ve gotten, at least when it comes to Pinky’s shenanigans.

So is it any surprise that they have a response to Pinky’s most recent accusations?

I didn’t think so either!

Pinky: “if i want you to have an opinion, i’ll give it to you!”

A hearty welcome back to pandas fans who once were lost, but now have found their way back to the panda kindergarten, along with new readers who have found us for the first time!

Be the Bear!
Bob T Panda

Stay tuned for the premiere episode of our latest retold (panda) tales extravaganza starting this Wednesday, coming to an internet cafe near you! It’s a little story we are calling, Pinky in Wonderland! There will probably be a few breaks during the story as we catch up with our reading in the Lewis Carroll original! It’s been a while since I last read it so… also some other pandas were anxious to share their stories, including Zhen Zhen’s big adventure tale (based on a true story!) and the reveal of Bebe Maurice’s new outfit and chosen interest!

Stay right in your seat! You don’t want to miss a single frame!