Those panda moms are some tough cookies. You do NOT want to
Make
them
MAD!
You might just find yourself grounded for life.
Good thing Pinky has her own computer in her room and a Skype account so she can keep in touch with her American Zoo panda compatriots.
But maybe you should be careful what you admit to, Pinky.
Hopefully Larry will start advising her to be a better behaved little panda soon.
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
If there is one thing we just cannot abide (the Dude, notwithstanding) it is people or …um…pandas, getting credit for something they did not do. But that is just what is going on here at Zoonooz headquarters. Some one is going to have to put a stop to these journalistic follies!
And then there is accidentally confessing to something you did do, but hoping that no one will believe you.
We KNEW that was you!
Is there more Meihem ahead?
What do you think?
Meanwhile, the panda season of looooove is heating up! More from the PSofL soon! And don’t forget! Today is the Ides of March. We don’t know what that is, but it sounds scary. Beware!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
News from the San Diego Zoo, Department of panda whoopee reports that Bai Yun and her favorite stud muffin, Gao Gao, had a romantic encounter today. Mr Gao Gao has an advantage over most zoo pandas, in that he was wild born and so has better instincts and ….um…technique than…um…some other pandas we could name.
So in honor of the panda season of love, let’s have a few love pandas from the archives!
A panda by any other name, would smell…well, they would just smell…
Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy
And who could forget the controversy surrounding figuring out who fathered miss Pinky?
Who’s the bear???!!!
And what panda doesn’t need a little inspiration from some appropriate reading material?
We really need to more thoroughly check the panda kindergarten’s reading list.
And what better way to celebrate the panda season of love, than buying all the books from the Panda Chronicles series. Um…just saying.
Have a great weekend!
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda
It’s almost time for Chinese new Year, and once again the panda kindergarten will present their Salute to the New Year. That means it’s time for encore presentations of previous pandy kindy extravaganzas! Huzzah!
The year of the bunny…..
Oh that panda kindergarten!
And then there was The Year of the Dragon….
Huzzah! it’s the year of the Dragon!
Not to mention another of Bob’s literary attempts at greatness, inspired by the Year of the Dragon….
What do you mean by “was?”
And then we skipped the year of the Snake, because…um…snakes?
So then it was on to the Year of the Horse. Huzzah!
Huzzah! It’s The year of Pandas on Horsies!
I want to know when it will be the Year of the Panda? I mean, come on…pandas come from China, and yet we have no year of the PANDA!!!!!!!????
Mehitabel’s note: Pfft! Seems to me that around here it is ALWAYS the year of the panda. Get over it!
So stay tuned for this years salute to The Year of the Sheep! And (here comes the commercial!) remember that it can be the year of the panda everyday when you support The Panda Chronicles by buying our books! Huzzah! Thank you all who support us this way.
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Welcome to the event you have all been waiting for! No, it’s not the Super Bowl, although I have heard that it might be happening sometime soon.* Yes, it’s the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, with your hosts, Babette de Panda, and the actual creator of the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, Jeroen Jacobs. I warned him that I draw pandas much better than I draw people, so if he looks like maybe he might be a panda, I apologize in advance.
Unlike the real world where pandas don’t get much opportunity to socialize with one another, in the world of panda satire and panda stories, pandas really get around a lot. I know, I know, we anthropomorphize pandas and all our pets as well, but heck… why not? Why shouldn’t pandas get to travel and attend award ceremonies? Don’t answer that.
Meanwhile, on with the awards ceremony!
Huzzah!
Introducing Princess Dumpling
We apologize to anyone who is offended by gratuitous panda butt depictions…oh wait…no we don’t.
* Actually, we do know that the Super Bowl is being played today. We even know who is playing!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
In our never ending quest to bring culture to the panda kindergarten, Bob decides to introduce them to the quintessential English High Tea, complete with little cucumber sandwiches and…um…cuppycakes. It is tea time for pandas!
The long, dark tea time of the soul….
I think it is time for a little something! I feel rather 11 o’clock-ish.
Just a reminder to stay tuned to this station on your internet dial, as next week we bring you more from the Giant Panda Zoo Awards! Interviews with award winning pandas, as they walk on the red carpet and pass through the velvet ropes, keeping the riff-raff away (and of course, by riff-raff, we mean anyone who isn’t Pinky)
Get ready for a star studded evening as all the nominated pandas strut their stuff for their fans.
Till then, Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Today, our nation’s number one panda, Bao Bao responds to her stunning defeat in this years Giant Panda Zoo Awards. The GPZA is a little like the Acadamy Awards, for pandas, so it’s easy to see why little miss Pinky would be so um…shall we say agitated? by her disappointing showing in this year’s voting.
But first, we have a story of sordid deception, tragedy, sugar overload, unfair advantage and death by chocolate, brought to our attention by one of our alert readers, Ms Jayelle of Brooklyn NY, about some hunting practices that IMHO are just the tiniest bit unfair, not to mention not very sporting. Now before anyone gets their panties in a knot, let me say I am an unashamed carnivore, or I suppose more accurately, omnivore. I have friends and neighbors who hunt deer and elk and stock their freezers to feed their family for the winter.
I say bravo, and that they are more honest eaters than I am, as the only hunting I do is for what’s on sale at our local grocery store. But this tale, from the bear centric area of New Hampshire smacks of unfairness to me. I mean, who doesn’t know that bears love sweets, and that chocolate can kill your dog if he eats enough of it. So, in the spirit of the Panda Chronicles, (meaning that we make fun of stuff, no matter how serious it actually is) here is our response to this story.
If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.
And now, as promised, Princess Pinky’s first response to the news that she did not win the gold medal in the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, (despite her…um…best efforts)
You might want to cover your ears.
Don’t tell me you’re surprised.
We’ll have more from our recorded coverage of the actual Giant Panda Awards ceremony, coming to you on The Panda Channel, host of Zoonooz, in the weeks to come. Stay tuned so you don’t miss it, or better yet, sign up to get new posts three times a week in your inbox. You can also sign up for our monthly (I swear I am going to get to this really soon) Newsletter. Both sign-ups are at the top of the right hand column on all pages, except for the home page.
Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda
It’s hard to imagine how I can top last year, especially after the end of 31 days of Pandas (which ended up being more like 47 days of pandas with all the Inspector Panda re-caps back in November) but now we are back to another year of panda hijinks.
Will there be new American cubs to push Pinky out of first place in the youngest panda in America standings?
Will Mr. Wu get to work on another case with Inspector Panda?
Will Pinky and the Meihems work out their differences in order to combat the impending menace of new cubby siblings? (And will Mr. Wu be able to stop gloating if this happens?)
What will this year’s “Panda Season of Love” bring? Can we possibly make any more fun of pandas than we already have?
And speaking of Inspector Panda, why is it that we have not seen Inspector Panda and Bob T. panda in the same cartoon frame?
These, and many more questions that you had no intention of asking, may very well be answered in the coming months. so in the meantime, sit back and enjoy the first NEW!!! cartoon of the year.
Huzzah!
Inspired by a conversation at the grocery store…
The idea for this ‘toon came about when I ran into a writer pal at the grocery store the other day. He suggested that perhaps I had a crew of pandas over in my studio, doing at least some of my work for me. Instantly, the light bulb went off in my head (either that, or I was having a stroke) and this cartoon formed itself in my head.
See? Even when I am supposedly off the clock, the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire is working for you. Work, work, work, work.
Happy New Year! More to come! Huzzah!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
PS: Oh yeah...buy books, okay? Kitty need new shoes.
Yes, and technically speaking, 31 Days of Pandas is over, but as I ran out of month before I ran out of verses, (and certain, shall we say, impatient, members of our audience wanted us to just get on with it and post the whole darn thing) we bring you the last three days of Crisp-Moss all at once.
Huzzah!
On the twelfth day of Crisp-Moss, My Panda cam Did See….
MX: no, Pinky, you may NOT have a Bamboo-tini!
I can’t hear you….
F-F-F-FI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE Cuppycaaaaaaakes!
whew!
Everybody sing!
Okay, is everyone ready to sing? (and personally, I think that the NZ Panda-Nanny staff would love, love, love it if you serenaded them with this song, tomorrow when you go to visit Pinky and Mum and Dad at the zoo.)
On the Twelth day of Crispmoss, my panda cam did see:
Twelve Pinky Presents,
Eleven Bamboo-tinis,
Ten Pandas Leaping,
Nine Pandarinas,
Eight Santa’s sleigh bears,
Seven pandas chasing,
Six pandas driving,
Four pandas sneaking,
Three triplets napping,
Two Meihems plotting
and
A Pinky in a Hemlock Treeeeeeeeeeeee!
Huzzah! And because as I type this, it is New Year’s Eve (well, except in the places where it is already the New Year) I leave you with the panda kindergarten, celebrating New Year’s Eve in their own very special way.
Happy New Years, from The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire!
I can’t tell you enough times or how much it means to me, that you have chosen to be the bears. Thank you all, and the happiest of New Years.
Bob T. Panda
Well.
Babette has absconded with all the paintings that the panda kindergarten art historians had so painstakingly collected, taking off for parts unknown on the S.S. Tipandic. Will we ever see Babette or the paintings again? Hmmm…I think they (or at least Babette) may turn up sooner or later. Thus, The Case of The Picturesque Panda draws to a close. And because I have them done, and because I have an idea for the rest of 31 Days of Pandas, I give to you, as my little gift, both today’s as well as tomorrows episodes. Which means I have to get back to work to get tomorrow’s holiday extravaganza started.
Oh well…a panda satirist’s work is never done.
“hey boss, am I going to get paid for this?”
“Um…well, you are what is known as an unpaid intern.”
Can you believe those Meihems? Blaming everything on Pinky? At least the mystery of Mr. Wu’s tape has been solved.
Keep being the bear!
Bob T. Panda