Tag Archives: National Zoo

Panda History: More about the Nixon Pandas

It’s true.  Sometimes I just can’t help being just the tiniest bit silly (As if you hadn’t noticed) but I crack myself up whenever I call Ling Ling and Tsing Tsing “the Nixon Pandas.”  It’s really not my fault.  In The Way of the Panda, that’s how writer Henry Nicholls refers to them  in the chapter about panda diplomacy.  Sometimes I really am NOT making things up.  (but only rarely)  Anyway, there have been several stories and articles floating around the internet about the 40th anniversary of Ling Ling and Tsing Tsing arriving in Washington D.C.

I hereby give you my version of the panda historical events 40 years ago this week.

I am only making some of this up. copyright 2012 -A. Belov

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

BTW: less than 200 visits are needed to bring my total views to 25,000!  Invite your friends to play with the pandas!

It was 40 years ago Today….

Did you know that it was 40 years ago today that the Nixon Pandas arrived at the National Zoo? I thought not.  Recently, as a result of the Freedom of Information Act, transcripts of communications between pandas have come to light.  Of course, this was in the days before email existed, so the discovery of these documents is quite exciting as well as unexpected. We now bring you the transcripts, known as The Panda Chronicles.  (Now you know where we got our name.)

April 16, 1972: from the diary of Hua Mu, secretary of the Council of Pandas:

Well I am just fit to be tied.  We had a big meeting last night to vote on which pandas were going to travel to Washington DC, but when the meeting started, it turned out that it had already been decided. I was so disappointed!  I thought for sure I was going to get to go.  After all, my great-great-great auntie on my mother’s father’s second cousin’s side of the family was none other than Su-Lin, the first panda to travel to America (and ride in a taxi!).

It turns out that Tsing Tsing was a political crony of none other than Richard M. Nixon, and they had worked out the deal while Nixon was in China, behind all the other pandas’ backs.  Well, of course if Tsing got to go, Ling-Ling would be selected as his traveling companion.  I have it on GOOD authority that Tsing Tsing had a couple other girlfriends that really wanted to go, but Ling Ling stamped her little paws and whispered something in Tsing’s ear that he didn’t repeat, but he just said his mind was made up and that Ling Ling would accompany him to DC.  I’m not sure that anyone else knew that this was a permanent relocation, except for Tsing, who always had his paw in the cookie jar.

I hope he knows what he’s doing.  Those personal appearances can be very tiring.

Well, time for bed, more tomorrow!

Be the bear!

Bob T. Panda!

Pandas painting at the National Zoo?

So what’s this I hear about pandas at the National Zoo in Washington DC taking up painting?  Are they trying to step on my paws?  I thought I was the only panda who was also a painter.  The next thing you know, they’ll be drawing cartoons!  I guess I’ll have to get over it, but I like being special.

Be the (grumbly) Bear

Bob T. Panda

People want to be in the Know! (or in the NOOOOOOOO!)

An overriding theme in my work here at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire is that of playing with current events or making fun (!) of cliche phrases.  And when you are obsessed with pandas the sequence goes like this: The right to bear arms> the right to arm bears> stressed out pandas with guns. What could be simpler? (or more absurd?)  and of course, we at ICPS are all about absurd.

Tomorrow: What about “Panda Cars”?

Be the Bear!

People want to be in the Know! (or in the NOOOOOOOO!)

An overriding theme in my work here at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire is that of playing with current events or making fun (!) of cliche phrases.  And when you are obsessed with pandas the sequence goes like this: The right to bear arms> the right to arm bears> stressed out pandas with guns. What could be simpler? (or more absurd?)  and of course, we at ICPS are all about absurd.

Tomorrow: What about “Panda Cars”?

Be the Bear!

More from the private emails of pandas!

Since no one has caught us yet, we will continue to publish personal emails that we have …um… hacked into through the Panda Network.  (you didn’t know there was  a Panda Network, did you.) Here are the next group of emails that we have managed to transcribe:

 

firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear to taibaby@pandaranch.boo : Yes I know you wanted a little brother or sister, but I still don’t think they would have let you come home.  Have you made any friends yet?

 

taibaby@pandaranch.boo to firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear: Aw mom, the other pandas talk with an accent and I can’t understand them half the time.  Last night they short-sheeted my bed and hid my toothbrush. So, in answer to your question, I have most definitely NOT made friends.

 

gracelandpanda@memphiszoo.cute to firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear Hey I just talked to Elvis and he said not to worry, there’s going to be a whole lot-a shakin’ goin’ on and we will both have our little cubbies.  And just ignore Lun Lun when she asks if you started packing yet.

 

 

Firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear  to surferbear@sandiegozoo.beach : That was a really sweet offer, Gao Gao, but I think Bai Yun would rip my ears off if I even looked at you sideways. Not to mention Tian’s feelings would be really hurt.

 

surfermama@sandiegozoo.beach to Firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear : You better believe it, BooBoo.

News of the Panda World: Secret Emails Revealed!

Well the wait is over and it is now known that Mei Xiang is not and possibly was never pregnant.  While we are sorrowful for this disappointing news, it didn’t stop us from hacking into Mei’s private email correspondence with other pandas at American zoos.  Here is a transcript of a number of communications:

 

firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear to gracelandpanda@memphiszoo.cute :  Hey, YaYa. Guess you heard the news by now.  I tried to keep the thing going, but finally, I was just tired of the charade.  How goes life in the south? LOL

 

gracelandpanda@memphiszoo.cute to firstpanda@nationalzoo.bear:  I feel your pain.  The thing is its just way to hot down here to even think about…well you know.  And by the way, just ignore anything Lun Lun writes to you. She’ll pretend she’s sympathetic, but she really just wants to brag.

 

Firstpanda to gracelandpanda: Thanks for the heads up. I put my phone on voice mail so I don’t have to listen to her.  Who cares about Po or Pooh’s toilet training anyway?  I’m just hoping they’re not going to come up with some excuse to deport us. It’s not MY fault, if you get my drift….

 

southernbelle@pandamom.cub to firstpanda: Hey sweetie, I keep getting you’alls machine and I just wanted to send my …condolences.  Did I tell you about the cutest thing Po did yesterday?  Well, I have to go. A mother’s work and all…bye now!

 

surferbear@sandiegozoo.beach to firstpanda:  Hey man, so sorry about your loss or whatever. We’ll all be meditating and lighting incense for you, that is if I can find some matches.  After that little incident in the gift shop, they are keeping a close watch on the fire-sticks.  Keep the faith. Peace and love….

 

Well, that’s all we have time for today. Tune in for more of our clandestine look into the private communications of the American panda populace!

 

Be the Bear

Bob T. Panda

 

The world is waiting……….

All of us in the panda-sphere are not so patiently waiting for  Mei Xiang, the First lady of Pandas in our nations capital to…well, do something.  Keepers at the zoo were first hopeful that she was “with cub” but now are not so sure.  And yet, she continues with her hormonal hi-jinks while we all hover over our computers waiting and watching.  So of course, it’s time for another cartoon.

Welcome to “Mei Watch”!

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

 

“Mei Watch” coming soon to the Panda Channel!

Just wanted to give you a heads up that we are still following the drama at the National Zoo, with our first lady of Pandas!  Mei is continuing to engage in hinky behavior.  Some would say she is milking the situation for all she is worth.

Hug me now!

Well, it turns out there really IS a Panda Channel!  Who knew?   Just saw a short film on the Panda Channel Of a panda getting a massage and bath and then going to his playroom!

Just goes to show you that I can’t make anything absurd up, without it being true!

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

PS There is NO truth to those rumors that are floating about facebook about me and a certain french panda!

Stay tuned to the Panda Channel for an update: Mei-Xiang: Preggers, or malingering opportunist?