Category Archives: Pandas speak out

More Alternative Facts

Here at the Panda Chronicles, we are never satisfied with the status quo! Join us in welcoming a new character to the cast, KittySue Conjob. Okay, maybe not welcoming, precisely…because let’s face it, if you think Pinky bends the truth and can be just the tiniest bit annoying, you ain’t seen nothing yet. While creating alternative facts left and right is part and parcel of standard operating procedure here at The Panda Chronicles, that is nothing compared to the whoppers KittySue and her real life inspiration (can you guess who that is? I bet you can!) roll out day after day. But we’re fictional, remember?

But let’s put our paws together for a big pandy welcome to…

Hey! Why are you making another character of questionable ethics a CAT???

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

There’s Something Happening Here…

24 Replies

...what it is ain’t exactly clear.…Things are happening very fast and I don’t think it is a good thing. When you are steering a ship of state, which is much bigger, than say, the Titanic, it seems like you would want to chart your course carefully, lest you, ya know, run into an iceberg. Not just barrel on ahead, because you like the sound of your own voice that much.

Heh.

Meanwhile, there is no such thing as an alternative fact, unless you are talking about speculative science fiction. Are we still allowed to use the word “science”? It’s good to remember that not everything is as it exactly appears in any particular snapshot (or screenshot!) But that doesn’t mean we should not pay attention. Or talk about what we’ve read or heard. Question everything, and let your representatives know how you feel, good and bad.

Our Future is at stake. Let’s treat it like it means something. Keep the conversation going.

Are all these paper clips mine?

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

What if You Gave an Inauguration & Nobody Came?

27 Replies

Hoo boy! We are right here, at ~~Apocalypse~~ Inauguration Eve, and I gotta tell you, my tummy is doing flip flops. I don’t even know if I can get all these cuppycakes down that I have lined up on the counter in front of me. Despite a certain party’s claims to the contrary, you can find a ball gown in DC, and apparently hotel rooms are available too. On the one hand, you hate to rile up a person with so thin a skin and such a penchant for vindictiveness.

On the other hand, there is this:

Hey, save some cuppycakes for me!

Panda On, and let’s be safe out there!
Bob T Panda

And did anyone get my nod to the old Bob and Ray “Wally Ballou” routines, where they joined the roving reporter midway through his introduction? We need anything we can find to cheer ourselves up! Enjoy!

Join the Panda March this Saturday!

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If you want to be where the action is the day after THE DAY AFTER, be sure to join one of the Women’s Marches that will taking place around the country. And yes, I put the phrase The Day After in scary SHOUTYCAPS/ all bold typing in reference to one of those post apocalyptic movies about the end of the world. The pandas are planning to march and I hope you will too. We are having a local march in Langley and I plan to attend. Maybe we’ll all go out for coffee and cuppycakes after. It’s shaping up to be that kind of week.

Join the #WePreferPinky Movement today!

Whats a protest without pandas?

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

I’d like to thank writer Deborah Underwood for coming up with the term “SHOUTYCAPS” to describe the feeling you get when someone writes in all capital letters. That’s why they pay her the big bucks. (Actually, hardly any writers for children make big bucks, so if you are looking for some really fun books for kids in your life, do check out her books at your local bookstore or on her website! She and her cat will thank you!)

The Scottish Pandas: Who will get custody?

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This Thursday Scotland will vote on whether they want to be a nation independent from England. I don’t know what the benefits or hardships on either side would be, but that’s never stopped me from making fun of the process. I realize that the custody of the Scottish pandas are a very minor issue in the question of a nation’s independence, but hey! Panda fans want to know!

If pandas don’t ask this question, who will?

And what if Tian Tian (aka Sweetie) has a cub? Talk about a Royal Baby!

Meanwhile in the world of red pandas, friend and co-author Vicky Vladic has posted about International Red Panda Day, that is coming next week on September 20th (one day after International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19th!). Go right now and read about red pandas and you might find a new cartoon that has not been posted here yet. Huzzah! You will also find a recipe from the upcoming Panda Chronicles Cuppycake CookBook for Red Panda Red Velvet Cuppycakes, a recipe that I am planning on trying really soon!

In addition to being International Talk Like a Pirate day, Friday September 19th is also the day I’ll be at the Freeland Branch of the Sno-Isle Library to talk about the Pandas of Pandamorphosis! If you will be on Whidbey Island at 11 AM this Friday, check out the Sno-Isle website to get directions and come on by. I’ll be talking about um…pandas, and will have books available to sign for purchase. I promise I won’t talk like a pirate through the whole presentation.

Be the Bear (AAARRRRRGH!)
Captain LongBob T. Panda

Mea Culpa! It is the day of “M”

8 Replies

Mmmmmmmm….me thinks there may be many messages and mottos that my minions might merit, starting with the letter “M” And of course, we must not forget Mehitabel!

Mwahahahaha!

But just a moment…there are monumental Machiavellian maneuvers and maledictions in the making. On Monday, oh malicious Monday, the Pulitzer Awards of Merit were made public.

Did you know there is no Pulitzer awarded in the field of Panda Satire?????? Likewise, those misanthropic mucky-mucks at the MacArthur Foundation also have marginalized Panda Satire as if it were miniscule rather than mighty.

Why IS there no MacArthur Fellowship for Panda Satire, anyway?

Nice to know that there are at least two times a year when panda satire can be overlooked, spring and fall! My oh my!

Meanwhile, motherhood is in the air, as the panda season of love continues. But you might want to think this through lest mischief manifest itself. Enjoy this episode about how Princess Pinky got her Magical Wand.

National Zoo cub makes mom Mei Xiang disappear

oops.

Princess Pinky is fooled by Mei Xiang at the National Zoo

Oh Princess Pinky, mom has a trick or two up her paw, I think…

Thanks again to the folks who made the A to Z challenge manifest itself in such a marvelous manner. What a merry madcap mis-adventure we are on.

Thanks to all who have checked out my books here. Who wouldn’t want to take the pandas home with them?

Till tomorrow, may we meet again!
Be the bear,
Bob T Panda

Princess Pinky wants her pandacam back on NOW!

20 Replies

Sigh….I try not to be too blatant in my personal opinions, but ya know, sometimes a bear just has to put his two-cents in the hat in the ring. Or something like that.

Two news stories today made me realize that the situation has just gone way beyond ludicrous. The unconscionable behavior by the Republicans in the House that refuse even to let a vote on the budget be taken is irresponsible in the extreme. And the news stories? Story #1 is about a Republican Congressman who berated a Park Service Ranger for “not doing her job” when it was the House’s unwillingness to act that closed the park in the first place.

Story #2 which I have not read any updates on, but it appears that this morning, there was a shooter/sniper shooting at Congress. Now, I detest violence, and I’m not a fan of guns, but if a peace loving panda is reduced to screaming at the radio when ever a Republican congressperson is telling lies about WHY the government has been shut down, imagine what would happen if an unstable person with access to firearms has his or her financial support cut off because of said inaction of Congress. I’m sure the irony of this situation is lost on those* who refused to enact reasonable gun control legislation. (* Republican/ tea party)

And then, there is the pandacam:

How much can a small panda stand?

Like Pinky said: The Affordable Care Act is already a law. (and the Supreme Court said it’s OK) Get over it and let everyone get back to work. Alright? And quit trying to blame it all on the President.

Be the Bear

Bob T. Panda