It seems like we should be way further along than part 5 of this adventure, but maybe that is because every day seems like it is lasting about 2 years. I wish escaping Mitten’s 2nd Reign of Terror was as easy as driving away with a couple of bears, but alas, we are stuck here for the duration or whatever is coming next.
So, without further ado (about nothing) let’s hop in the backseat with Ping as Frank and Mikey continue on their journey to hang out with their friends at the Falls, for the Fat Bear Festival.
A busy day here at Panda Satire (Institute of Contemporary Thereof) headquarters, but we pulled this one out of our…well, you know.
Frank, Mikey, and Ping are on the road! Maybe they will be invited to Taylor Swift’s wedding!
Things are getting worse with the “man” who would be King. We will keep poking the bear, as it were!
Panda on, everyone! Bob T going down swinging Panda
BTW, there have been many reports of bears behaving badly, including a bear that wanted to work in an ice cream shop. Can I say we scooped that bear by about 14 years? Huh? Can we?
When at least a dozen people alert me to a NooZ story about bears AND all the major networks, major noozpapers and Youtube cover the story, you know that either the bears have eaten someone important (don’t get your hopes up), or some bears have done something adorable but naughty!
Young Pookies Mish and Lucy, a brother and sister pair rescued in Albania in 2021, had gone to live at an animal sanctuary in Devon, in the UK. A wild release had been attempted when they were a couple years old, but, ever the smartie bears, Mish and Lucy knew a good thing when they saw it, and refused the offer to “be free bears!”
While all the major NooZ outlets had the story, ONLY ZooNooZ got the interview!
The keepers referred to them as “naughty bears” in one story, and said if they ever see those other bears again, you know, the one with the hat and the other one with the fuzzy dice hooked over his ear, they will shoot them on sight.
“They appear to be a bad influence on our sweet, innocent bears,” said one keeper. “We can’t have them corrupting our young bears with their thieving ways.”
Frank and Mikey were unavailable for comment.
Be the Bear Bob T I thought we needed a fun story Panda
I wasn’t sure if I’d get this done for today, but here we are!
Bears are continuing to behave badly in the Lake Tahoe area (Henrietta says it wasn’t her!) Alert reader Linda L spotted this NooZ story about a bear named Cinnamon (allegedly) who (allegedly) stole a 3 gallon tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from a local shop (allegedly).
“I don’t know what the fuss is all about,” said former Tahoe resident Henrietta the Tank from her new address in Colorado at a luxury “residential facility”. “It’s not like they can’t make more ice cream. Honestly! Nobody wants to share any more!.”
As I was erasing all the pencil smoodgies from today’s ‘toon, alert Friend to Bears Frances A. sent me todays Andy Borowitz Report, which, if you are Friendly to Bears, You should definitely read right AFTER you read mine, because I already thought of it without him. Really, I did!
TBF, this one kind of wrote itself, what with all the cruel and inept BS Muskwanker’s flying monkeys have gotten up to.
BEARS!!! amiright?
Frank and Mikey are gonna be pretty busy for a while, I think.
It’s been a year, so far, these first 2 weeks of F45’s second reign of terror, hasn’t it? Meanwhile the Skipping Dipshit is up to his elbows in our personal information, along with his band of marauding incels.
I would much rather think about bears, so that is what I’m going to do.*
*I am writing my reps in the Senate and the House almost daily because they need to know what we think about all this insanity that is going on right in front of us.
So let’s bring on the BEARS!
A reminder that animals also suffer in devastating fires like the ones in and around L.A. in January.
Be the Bear Bob T is hanging in there Panda
A big pandy thank you to ALL of you who alerted me to this story! Keep those bear stories coming! The community of friends of bears is mighty and we will get through this together.
I finally watched the movie “Cocaine Bear” and while I can’t say it was a great movie, It was…um…interesting, and the bears won. It was a little grizzly (ha ha ha…see what I did there?) but there were some great cameo appearances by a couple of Pookies, and there were certainly some people who got what they deserved, although there were some other people who did NOT deserve what transpired.
Frank and Mikey would like you to know that it absolutely wasn’t them, but they are not so sure that it wasn’t their sister Josie. She’s not telling.
But what does Cocaine Bear have to do with today’s ‘toon? Well, there was some very important Bear NooZ this week…
As we get closer to “D” day, I am more worried and depressed than ever. Frank and Mikey always cheer me up a little and I hope they’ll make you feel better too. Pretty sure they are more qualified than 99.9% of F45’s cabinet picks.
Be the Bear, Everyone! Bob T we are endangered Panda
My very alert friend sent me a video this week about some people who thought they were way more clever than they actually turned out to be. No, it’s not the orange fartwaddle, although these people have just increased their potential of cabinet members…
…just as soon as they take care of their little insurance fraud charges.
Of course, there world be “bears”
So… this time it really wasn’t Frank and Mikey’s fault! Also this story appeared on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. Everyone loves bears!
As you might imagine, I am still reeling from the election debacle. Hard to know how long this is gonna take. But as long as we have bears, maybe there is hope.
Those fluffy, fun loving, frolicking Pookies residing at Seattle’s Woodland Park Zoo were in the NooZ yet again! It seems that they provided some “unexpected” science and nature lessons on the food chain for a group of elementary school age kids having a birthday party at the zoo.
What can we say, except that bears ARE at the top of most food chains?
Fun fact: This incident was a question on last week’s NPR Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me! NooZ quiz show. Needless to say, I was jumping up and down yelling, “I KNOW! I KNOW! ASK MEEEEEE!!!” Are bears fun or what?
Fun Fact 2: Bai Yun was reported to occasionally grab a low flying Mallard duck out of the air, for a between meal snack.
Pandarella will return on Tuesdays, for more of our very exciting adventure story starring Bikkie!
Be the Bear Bob T bet you can’t eat just one Panda
