Category Archives: the essential pandaness of being

Pacific Northwest Pandas

Ever since I became a pandaholic (I’m not ashamed of my love), one of the great causes for sadness in my life is the fact that I have to get on a plane if I want to go and visit pandas. Not that I have any wish to live in Washington DC, especially as they are in the grasp of Snomaggedon 2016, but why, oh why can’t we have pandas in Seattle?

Well, it turns out that people who can get things done are actually talking to folks in China who hand out pandas (the Office of Panda Procurement and Proliferation). We have no idea if they will be successful in bringing pandas to Washington State, but be assured that we are keeping our fuzzy ears to the ground on this one!

I bet Seattle Pandas would vote for Bob!

I can also attest to the fact that bamboo grows really well around here, so if there were Pacific Northwest Pandas they would have plenty of bamboo to choose from! The weather here is very conducive to panda proliferation, so what’s holding us back (I mean besides vast sums of money)? So, if you are a Seattle area millionaire with a fondness for the fuzzy black and white bears, now is the time to come forward and say “I want pandas!!!!!”

There remains only one crucial piece of this campaign to bring pandas to the Pacific Northwest and that is…(wait for it) a really good Twitter hashtag! Please add your suggestions for a Twitter hashtag to the comments section and I will give the contributor of the best hashtag suggestion a signed copy of my latest book, The Panda Chronicles Book 6: We R Endangered (sorry, US entrants only, but even if you don’t live in the US, please share your suggestions. I’ll come up with something less expensive to mail if you have the winning suggestion.)

Till next time!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

A late note: An alert reader brought to my attention, the news that Chuck Todd on Meet the Press not only played the video of Tian Tian frolicking in the snow, but suggested that maybe a panda should be president. I am not making this up. She thought it might be code for “Vote 4 Pinky” but it could just as easily be “Hey! Why not vote for Bob?”

Behind the Scenes at The Panda Chronicles

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You may wonder what the lives of The Panda Chronicles pandas are like when they are not on camera. Mr Wu, being a California bear, enjoys surfing and driving around in his cubvertable. The Meihem twins, besides being Panda Scouts, enjoy relaxing together and plotting ways to make Pinky mad.

And Pinky… well, Pinky likes to relax in her luxuriously appointed private quarters, while catching up on some educational reading.

What is Pinky reading?

And if you are wondering what your nearest and dearest would like for this year’s holiday, consider Pinky’s campaign swag!

Although why I am suggesting this instead of “Hey! Why not vote for Bob” merchandise is beyond me!

Aren’t we in enough trouble already?

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Let the excesses of the season begin! It’s almost time for 31 Days of Pandas!

I am Thankful

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I am thankful for pandas, for laughter, for days the sun shines in my window, for misty mornings where everything is gray, and a panda…might…just …walk out of the fog.

Princess Pinky says, she is thankful for cuppycakes and da panda kindygarten and her magical wand!

I am thankful that I still have a roof over my head, enough resources to keep the heat on and food on my table. I am thankful for those who help those who do not.

I am thankful for kindness, for peaceful dealings, especially with those who might not be in agreement with me. I am thankful for the help of friends, in big ways and small.

I am thankful for all of you who read my ‘toons, buy my books, engage in panda chat on Twidder and Fezbook. I haven’t had this much fun since kindergarten.

I am thankful for the mentor program through the Nevada chapter of SCBWI that welcomed a goofy story about pandas into the program, and all the lovely people I met there and hope will be connected to for a long time.

Be kind, be generous, be peaceful, be the bear.
Bob T. Panda

(back to business as usual tomorrow!)

Busing for Beavers

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What else could you call relocation of 76 beavers in Idaho in 1948, except busing for beavers? We recently heard this story, which came courtesy of the Boise, Idaho NPR station. The funniest things are occasionally true, true things are often funny. (At least we think they are.)

Of course, The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire couldn’t sleep until we commented on this exciting bit of history.

And leave it to the vivd imagination of the panda kindergarten, to see a parallel between the 1948 Beaver Air-Drop and a possible solution to the current rat problem that new York City is facing.

Uh oh! It’s the panda kindergarten and they have a plan!

Over here Mr. Kitty! We have a surprise for you!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Happy Birthday To You!

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Well, this may be a first for The Panda Chronicles.

You know how people who are born on holidays like Christmas or 4th of July always complain that no one ever really celebrates their birthday because..um…MAJOR HOLIDAY!!!!!DUH!!!!

So, think about what it means to be born on what is probably the most infamous day in recent American history (and I don’t mean the day that the Supremes appointed George W. President) Yeah, I am talking about the ultimate conversation stopper. What if your birthday is on September 11th? Let me put that another way, in case you missed the reference.

What if your birthday was on 9/11?

Well, that just happens to be the case for one of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire’s most faithful followers, a young woman from my home town of Phillie PA. so in honor of your birthday, we bring you….

A Salute to Cake! Happy Birthday, Cami Taylor!!!!!

Bob T. Portrait with cuppycake

All salute the sacred cuppycake!

Thanks again to Henry Nicholls for alerting me to this story

Legalize cake today! Prevent illicit cuppycake activities.

Escape! Come with me, little cake, so we can be alone together.

Bee-lieve!

One panda’s disaster is another panda’s delight!

Mini Bob Contemplates some cuppycakes from the famous London Bakery, Peggy Porschens

Mini Bob Contemplates some cuppycakes from the famous London Bakery, Peggy Porschen Cakes

Well, apparently, much to my surprise, I could go on and on with cartoons of pandas and cakes, but I won’t!

Happy birthday, once again Cami….be sure to…um…have some cake. How did I know about this? Let’s just say that small pandas have big mouths. I’m looking at YOU, Emperor Pew! ( see article: When good pandas go bad!) Thanks for alerting me to the news that there is something to celebrate about 9/11. That Bamboo Psychic network is really something!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

We Paws to Reflect…

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…on the fragility of life, especially of baby pandas and all endangered species. Here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we make a lot of fun of contemporary culture, society, politics, and, of course, pandas.

We paws to reflect on the passing of one of our joys and treasures, a newborn panda cub at the National Zoo in Washington DC. I have every confidence that the outstandingly talented panda team and panda mom extraordinaire Mei Xiang did everything they could to keep that little cub alive. I have no doubt that they will do the same to nurture and protect the surviving cub.

For today’s encore presentation, I share with you the drawing I did to commemorate the cub that did not survive, the year before Pinky Bao Bao’s birth in 2013. I am reminded that nature is sometimes cruel, or at least it seems that way.

goodbye my friend.

We will panda on, no matter what. We R All Endangered. You can follow the news about the NZ pandas on twitter, using the National Zoo’s special panda hashtag, #PandaStory.

Bob T Panda

Make Way, Make Way, a Panda is Born

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We interrupt these regularly scheduled pandas to announce that at 4:36 EDST a cub was born at the National Zoo to Mei Xiang.

huzzah!

If I Were a Panda…

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If I were a panda…yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yaaaaa….oh wait… I AM a panda!

But earlier this week, Theodore Bikel, the actor who immortalized the role of Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof, died, so I fought it was appropriate that Fabulous Furry Friday have an encore presentation of the cartoons that the role inspired.

Today, I am a Bear…..

Today, you are a bear.

…if I were a panda, yadda dah dah da- da- da- AAARGH! I can’t stop!!!!!

And somewhere, Theodore Bikel is spinning in his grave….

I am not that kind of bear!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

It’s Official! Pinky is More Popular Than…

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We now have absolute proof that Pinky is more popular than…

Any. Other. Animal. At. The. Smithsonian. Zoo. I bet you thought I was going to quote John Lennon.

At least any that have their own animal cam. The elephants were the closest contenders, with over 600,000 views. Pah! Chicken feed!!!! Do you want to guess how many views the panda cam had in 2014? Oh…you already looked. Well, if you were waiting for me to tell you, the panda cam had in excess of 38,000,000 views. Rumor has it, the panda cam takes more than 60% of the zoo’s bandwidth (whatever that is). Well… do you really want to watch anyone other than Pinky?

editors note: We just received a clarification from a reader who actually knows this for a fact (because she works for the Smithsonian) that the panda cam actually takes up 60% of the ENTIRE SMITHSONIAN bandwidth (19 museums and 9 research centers), not just the Zoo. Ahem. Pinky IS an icon. Just sayin’

I thought not.

Proof positive of Pinky’s persuasive popularity!

Which leads to me to my other “truth is weirder than fiction but provides great inspiration for panda satire” news story: Pinky Money! Okay, it’s really just a commemorative coin, but a small bear can dream, can’t she? (Note: this is NOT an endorsement for Pinky Money.)

BTW, we apologize for not adding any more of the WeREndangered mug series that we promised. We were “away” (no, not in prison!) for a few weeks and then got sick on our return, so the new mug program is set back a bit. I’m going to get right on it though! Bee the Bear and Mr. Wu are not waiting very patiently, and neither are the Meihems. Stay tuned to the Panda Channel and we will let you know when they are on the shelf.

Be the Bear and vote Pinky Pinky Pinky in 2016!
Bob T Panda

Sneaky Bob

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Well, that was a dramatic announcement last week, wasn’t it? Pinky has informed her mother that she will be running for president! But….I got three whole (very sincere) votes in the last election! Doesn’t that count for anything?

Bob wouldn’t try anything sneaky, would he? Would he???????