Well, the torch bears are at it again. Will they reach the Olympic Games in London in time? And what does dinosaur flatulence have to do with pandas? Tune in and see…..
Never underestimate the power of a good “fart joke”
Frommage, indeed!
Be the bear (oops)
Bob T. Panda
Dear Ms. Mehitabel,
Thank you for your recent letter. If you would be so kind as to consult your instruction manual, you would see that the sequence of connecting the plugs must be in a precise order, or the interface will not combobulate. We hope that this clears up any misunderstandings about the warranty on your specific product.
Sincerely,
The customer service panda
The Panda Chronicles
Dear Mr. Panda,
I most certainly did not write to complain about a product that I might (and did NOT) purchase from The Panda Chronicles. In fact, I would never buy anything from a company that:
A) Uses such terrible grammar; and
B) Can not direct complaint letters to the correct department.
Please be advised that I am forthwith canceling my subscription to The Panda Chronicles and request a refund for any issues not received.
Sincerely,
Mehitabel the Cat.
Dear mizz cat,
We hardly think it is our responsibility if purchasers REFUSE to read the instrucktion manual. we think you should take our product and wear it on your head as a hat.
So there,
The panda kindergarten Panda Chronicles service department.
Dear Mr. Panda,
I am writing in protest of your recent cartoon. (Pandas mourn death of Maurice Sendak) It is my feeling that you are exploiting the death of noted children’s book author and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, for the express purpose of allowing the panda kindergarten to run amok.
As a member of SCCWI (Society of Cartoon Cats of Whidbey Island) I must also take exception to the cavalier treatment of your feline characters.
Furthermore, I do NOT believe that “rumpus” is a verb. This is a blatant example of the verbification of nouns, and will not be tolerated. I am considering suspending my subscription to your publication.
Sincerely,
Mehitabel the cat.
I was listening to NPR last night (that’s National Panda Radio, you know) and heard a story about researchers giving orangutans iPads in order to teach them to communicate with people. I would respectfully (of course) point out that pandas have been using mePhones for several years in order to track each other (and occasionally order pizza) with great success.
Remember, you heard it here first!
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda
Alert Panda Chronicles reader Andrew S. mentioned that he got a very swell new car… a Fiat Panda! Huzzah! Panda Cars! So the pandas here at The Panda Chronicles thought this was to be celebrated.
Note to Andrew: Do NOT let the panda kindergarten have the keys to your car!
this one’s for you, Andrew!
Perhaps a THIRD chance is in order?
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
It was 40 years ago today,
Richard Nixon brought the bears to stay,
So let me introduce to you,
the one and only Bobby T….
Sargent Panda’s Happy Panda Band!
What would I do, if I ran out of boo’,
Would I have to have a cuppycake?
Sorry, I didn't have a photo of Abbey Road.....
OK, I got it out of my system now….
And a quick note of complete self involvement here, I’m about to reach 25,000 visits to The Panda Chronicles, and I couldn’t have done it without YOU, the panda satire fans around the world! So huzzah! (well, maybe I could have done it, but my guess is that I would have to spend all my time visiting this blog from a lot of different computers.) Thanks for stopping by to play with the pandas!
And on to further panda business (that’s sort of like monkey business, except for it’s pandas instead of monkeys) I’ve finished my revisions for Pandamorphosis and am ready to start sending it out again to publishers. Here’s one of the new drawings:
from Pandamorphosis//copyright 2012// A. Belov
Till next time,
Be the Bear!
Did you know that it was 40 years ago today that the Nixon Pandas arrived at the National Zoo? I thought not. Recently, as a result of the Freedom of Information Act, transcripts of communications between pandas have come to light. Of course, this was in the days before email existed, so the discovery of these documents is quite exciting as well as unexpected. We now bring you the transcripts, known as The Panda Chronicles. (Now you know where we got our name.)
April 16, 1972: from the diary of Hua Mu, secretary of the Council of Pandas:
Well I am just fit to be tied. We had a big meeting last night to vote on which pandas were going to travel to Washington DC, but when the meeting started, it turned out that it had already been decided. I was so disappointed! I thought for sure I was going to get to go. After all, my great-great-great auntie on my mother’s father’s second cousin’s side of the family was none other than Su-Lin, the first panda to travel to America (and ride in a taxi!).
It turns out that Tsing Tsing was a political crony of none other than Richard M. Nixon, and they had worked out the deal while Nixon was in China, behind all the other pandas’ backs. Well, of course if Tsing got to go, Ling-Ling would be selected as his traveling companion. I have it on GOOD authority that Tsing Tsing had a couple other girlfriends that really wanted to go, but Ling Ling stamped her little paws and whispered something in Tsing’s ear that he didn’t repeat, but he just said his mind was made up and that Ling Ling would accompany him to DC. I’m not sure that anyone else knew that this was a permanent relocation, except for Tsing, who always had his paw in the cookie jar.
I hope he knows what he’s doing. Those personal appearances can be very tiring.
Well, time for bed, more tomorrow!
Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda!
Well, with Mini-Bob off gallivanting around London, the panda kindergarten is up to their old tricks. People always want to know (OK, I IMAGINE that people want to know this) just what goes on in the typical panda kindergarten classroom. Who teaches the panda kindergarten? Are there naps and snacks? Are there cuppycakes? There really should be cuppycakes.
"Class....Claaaas....CLASS!!!!!!!!!
HAVE A BEAR-Y GOOD WEEKEND!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
More than 24,000 visits! Huzzah
Well, with Mini-Bob off gallivanting around London, the panda kindergarten is up to their old tricks. People always want to know (OK, I IMAGINE that people want to know this) just what goes on in the typical panda kindergarten classroom. Who teaches the panda kindergarten? Are there naps and snacks? Are there cuppycakes? There really should be cuppycakes.
"Class....Claaaas....CLASS!!!!!!!!!
HAVE A BEAR-Y GOOD WEEKEND!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
More than 24,000 visits! Huzzah
Well, it has happened again. A kind and perceptive blogger, http://thoughtofvg.wordpress.com/ has decided that I am worthy of The Versatile Blogger Award. It’s true, because everyone loves pandas, and everyone especially loves the panda kindergarten. Please don’t think I am an ungrateful bear, BUT (and it is a big butt) I fear that I am not able to fulfill the requirements of this award as my time here in pandyland is somewhat limited by attempting to do enough work to make a living.
All the same, I really, really, really, REALLY appreciate the thought from thoughtofvg on WordPress. It’s just that I’ve already received the award 3 (or is it 4?) times before (once it was twice on the same day) and really I have run out of blogs that I have time to read and so to bestow this award upon. Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m afraid I must pass.
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Vote the Panda Party!