Tag Archives: Pandas

Another post, but I warn you, it’s not funny…

.. but I probably won’t be able to resist putting in a panda or two.

I woke up this morning, turned on my computer (even though I PROMISED I wouldn’t do that till after I’d done some work first), checked here and saw that more people than I could even imagine visited the Panda Chronicles in just one day.  Maybe it was some kind of computer malfunction, I thought.

Then, after I got done congratulating myself, I logged on to Fezbook and saw the news about the latest shooting in Aurora, Colorado.  What is going on here? How many times does this have to happen before more restrictive gun laws are put in place?

OK, OK, do I really have any business talking about gun laws on a cartoon panda blog?

It’s really not that simple.  I do think that weapons are too, too present in this country, particularly automatic-and semi-automatic weapons.  Do we really need to be armed to the teeth?  But even more than that, I start to wonder, have we fostered such an atmosphere of hate and disrespect that people growing up in our world think that if they have an impulse to go shoot a bunch of total strangers in a crowded movie theater, that they should give in to it?  If all you hear when you are growing up is nasty rhetoric on television by pundits and politicians at what point do you start thinking that it’s okay to hate everyone or maybe just people who are different than you?

As difficult as my 20’s and 30’s were, as a young artist trying to make her way in the world, financially, it had far less peril than a 24 year-old of today.  I got through 5 years of undergraduate studies, and 2 years of grad school, with less than $10,000 debt TOTAL for 7 years of schooling.  I could live on $500 a month, pay my rent and have time to paint, as well as a social life, and still pay back my loans.  The financial pressures on graduating students today are enormous.  If you top that off with the stress of not being able to find good paying work, a violent culture, and hatred and disrespect being spewed over the airwaves, is it any wonder that some people go off the rails, and try to take others with them?

I’ll be the first to admit that I do not dwell in the trenches.  In many ways I have retreated from the hub-bub of the current culture to frolic with the (cartoon) pandas.  I pose the question: If, instead of listening to certain television news shows, with their misinformation and meanness that they spew out night after night, what if we spent that same amount of time watching panda videos of adorable little pandas, following their keeper up a slide, eating bamboo and cuppycakes, or riding a rocking horsey? Would that feeling of peace and “awwww” affect the way we felt about our fellow humans?  I think we should try it.

We have everything to gain.

Be the (peaceful) Bear (well, except for the panda kindergarten and they are not armed)

Bob T. Panda

This is one of those posts…..

…where I congratulate myself for how many people came and visited The Panda Chronicles yesterday.  614 of you thought we were worth visiting.  Either that, or something went wrong with 614 different computers and you were inexplicably sent to this site.  Well, however you got here, I hope you’ll keep coming back and invite your friends to come too.  After all, everyone loves pandas.

bob for pres

Vote the Panda Party!

 

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

If reality didn’t provide ideas like this, I would have to make stuff up.

OK, Ok, airline security is no laughing matter…unless there are pandas involved.

what will the panda kindergarten do next?

 

While I don’t like to listen to the news, it does give me some good ideas for cartoons.

Coming soon!  The Panda Olympics!  (The Panda Kindergarten’s adventures in Italy are temporarily on hold while the Olympics are on, but they’ll be back!)

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

It’s Monday! Time to embrace your inner panda!

It’s Monday morning, and I want to welcome all the new pandateers who have visited the Panda Chronicles for the first time.  One of our most important concepts here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, is that of Embracing Your Inner Panda.

I also have to give myself a big dope-slap for missing the opportunity to add a relevant and irreverent caption to Saturday’s cartoon.  As it was Bastille Day, the caption to this cartoon SHOULD have read: “Let them eat cake.”  (go back and look if you missed it)

And now, on to today’s cartoons!

But wait, there’s more!

 

 Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

 

Celebrate All Things Panda!

Pandas Need YOU! The board of panda proliferation informs us that while we have gained significant ground in bringing panda satire to panda lovers, we are not bringing panda satire to panda lovers EVERYWHERE!  And so we come to you, bamboo in paw, to ask for your help.  Now, we don’t want you to forward the link to this blog to people who don’t like pandas, or worse, have no sense of humor (heaven forfend!)  But, if you have one or two or three or twenty friends who might enjoy a panda or two arriving in their computer a couple times a week, please introduce them to Bob T. and the gang here at the panda chronicles.  We will be ever so grateful!

And if you really want to help pandas real and imaginary, buy stuff with pandas (well, with my pandas, anyway) on it from Pandyland at Cafe Press.  Once I get to a very modest level of sales, I will be able to donate some of the proceeds to our good friends at Pandas International.  A quick click on the link at the righthand side of the page will whisk you away to Pandyland!  Huzzah!

Thank you and Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

Celebrate All Things Panda!

Pandas Need YOU! The board of panda proliferation informs us that while we have gained significant ground in bringing panda satire to panda lovers, we are not bringing panda satire to panda lovers EVERYWHERE!  And so we come to you, bamboo in paw, to ask for your help.  Now, we don’t want you to forward the link to this blog to people who don’t like pandas, or worse, have no sense of humor (heaven forfend!)  But, if you have one or two or three or twenty friends who might enjoy a panda or two arriving in their computer a couple times a week, please introduce them to Bob T. and the gang here at the panda chronicles.  We will be ever so grateful!

And if you really want to help pandas real and imaginary, buy stuff with pandas (well, with my pandas, anyway) on it from Pandyland at Cafe Press.  Once I get to a very modest level of sales, I will be able to donate some of the proceeds to our good friends at Pandas International.  A quick click on the link at the righthand side of the page will whisk you away to Pandyland!  Huzzah!

Thank you and Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda

Celebrate Panda Awareness Week!!! Huzzah!

We were so happy when we heard about Panda Awareness Week on Facebook the other day, that we could hardly contain ourselves!  So, we had to postpone the continuation of the saga of the panda kindergarten in Italy for  just a few more days…(and then there is the upcoming Panda Olympics and what ever happened to those torch bears after they sold their torch?)

And then, coincidentally, I heard a story about the annual Running of the Bulls, in Pamplona, Spain, and I thought, wouldn’t THAT be the perfect event to hold during panda awareness week?  Not the running of the bulls, of course, but the running of the BEARS!!!!!!

What makes a panda run? Cuppycakes, of course!!!!

 

Be the bear!

Celebrate Panda Awareness Week by telling 3 of your friends about the Panda Chronicles!

Bob T. Panda

The Whole truth….Mostly…..

When I first started the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, one of my friends said, pandas aren’t all warm and cuddly, you know.  Here is a story about a panda who attacked a man who climbed his fence to hug him.   So I did a cartoon about that, and recently I wrote this short story about the incident:

Man Hugs Panda

From a news headline in BBC Asia Pacific

WHAM!

The slam of the judge’s gavel rang like the sound of a cage door banging shut.

“Guilty as charged!” declared the judge.

But let me tell my story from the beginning, and then you can decide for yourself. Was I an innocent victim or a vicious criminal?

My name is Yang-Yang. I’m a panda and I live at the Qixing Park Zoo in China.  We pandas have a huge weight on our shoulders, and it is this; we’re cute. We’re really, really cute.  You might think that being cute is easy, but it’s no teddy bear’s picnic.

My days in the zoo are mostly the same, and this day seemed like any other.  I got up and had some bamboo and prepared to meet my public. I was just starting to do my cuteness exercises when I spotted the first sign of trouble.  On the other side of the fence that protects me from my fans, stood a visitor to the zoo.  Lots of people come just to see the pandas, you know.  But this man was giving me the look.  Pandas see the look all the time. People get a misty-eyed, goofy look on their faces, and then I know trouble is coming my way.

This visitor climbed over the fence and ran towards me.  He still had the look on his face, and his arms were stretched wide open.

And then he HUGGED ME!

I couldn’t believe it.  Everyone knows that pandas are very shy.

Well, there really was only one thing I could do.

“I’m sorry sir,” I growled, “but I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.  Sir, excuse me… Could you please stop that?”  But he just kept hugging me.

Pandas have an excellent sense of smell so it was impossible for me not to notice that he had some candy in his pocket.

Breakfast was hours ago.

Gee, since we’re such good friends now, I thought, I’m sure he won’t mind if I help myself.  I must have miscalculated the candy’s location, because instead of getting the candy bar, I took a big bite out of his leg.  There was quite a bit of yelling and screaming. The other visitors pulled the man back over the fence.

Someone called the police.

Nobody would have been the wiser, and they probably wouldn’t have made such a big deal about it, except for one little thing. People pulled out their cameras and cell phones and started taking pictures and sending them to all their friends.  After that, it was hard to deny what happened.

It was a very popular video on Youtube.

I never got my lunch.

I thought that would be the end of it. But a few days later, I got a summons to appear in court.  I was sure they would find me innocent. After all, he was trespassing in my territory. I thought being the zoo’s star attraction counted for something. I never knew pandas had no civil rights.

There were hours of interviews with my lawyers. There were hours of interviews with his lawyers. I thought about biting a lawyer or two, but I decided maybe I was in enough trouble already.

I missed several meals.

Finally the day for my court appearance arrived.  TV news teams came from all over the world.  This was the big story of the year, the trial of the century!  After all, how many times does a panda stand accused of the crime of being cute?

The zoo visitor claimed he was the victim. Since pandas are so darn cute, he was unable to control his urge to hug me.

Is it my fault I’m so adorable?

Finally, I was called to the witness stand.  Time to turn on the old panda charm, I thought. I rolled on my back, nibbled my paw, and wrinkled my nose.

The judge glared at me over the top of his glasses.

“The witness will SIT in the chair or face a contempt charge,” the judge said, as he pointed his gavel at me.

I sat up, and wiggled my ears.  I took the oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and mostly nothing but the truth.

“What do you have to say in your defense?” the judge asked sternly.

“Just because I’m cute, it doesn’t mean I’m easy.” I replied.

The judge banged his gavel, hard, and I prepared, once again, for a life behind bars.

The End

 

Be the Bear!

Bob T. Panda.