Well it was a proud day for pandas everywhere!  Pandas ( that most graceful of animals) have managed to win the gold medal for pair figure skating in Vancouver BC this week.  I myself am quite the skater, but I have been unable to participate, due to the fact that I recently got a traffic ticket for “operating a vehicle under the influence of bamboo” last week. How was I to know that the bamboo had fermented?   I had my lucky panties packed and ready to go to Vancouver, when I had my unfortunate meeting with the state patrol.  How was I to know that cruise control is NOT the same thing as automatic pilot?   Anyway, I was turned back at the border, so I just had to watch on TV.

Till next time,

Panda ON

Bob

More from cousin Tai, now living at the panda ranch in China:

Dear Bob, thought you might like to read my diary posts:

Feb. 4th: Boarded plane for China this morning. They didn’t let me bring my laptop or big screen TV. Said the other pandas might be jealous.  Knew things were not looking good, when I was shown to my compartment and there was no padded leather seat, or glass of champagne waiting for me. Where’s my warm, moist towelette?

Feb. 6th: Boy I hate these long flights. Had a stop over in Atlanta, to pick up cousin Mei. Boy is she stuck up. She told me the pilot let her steer the plane for a while. That must have been when I got “sick”

Feb 9th: I don’t like it here. The other pandas shortsheeted my bed. They all talk Chinese and get real quiet when I walk by. I think they’re talking about me.

I’ll write again next week ( if I can get time on the communal computer.)

Tai Shan.

Panda On!

Bob

More from cousin Tai, now living at the panda ranch in China:

Dear Bob, thought you might like to read my diary posts:

Feb. 4th: Boarded plane for China this morning. They didn’t let me bring my laptop or big screen TV. Said the other pandas might be jealous.  Knew things were not looking good, when I was shown to my compartment and there was no padded leather seat, or glass of champagne waiting for me. Where’s my warm, moist towelette?

Feb. 6th: Boy I hate these long flights. Had a stop over in Atlanta, to pick up cousin Mei. Boy is she stuck up. She told me the pilot let her steer the plane for a while. That must have been when I got “sick”

Feb 9th: I don’t like it here. The other pandas shortsheeted my bed. They all talk Chinese and get real quiet when I walk by. I think they’re talking about me.

I’ll write again next week ( if I can get time on the communal computer.)

Tai Shan.

Panda On!

Bob

I know, I know, Tai Shan’s relocation is for the good of pandas everywhere. Just think, his offspring could be the magic number 300th panda in captivity, thus ensuring pandas continuance and eventual world domination. But that happy day is somewhere in the future. I mean, other than his mom, he’s never even met a girl panda. 

Here’s an excerpt from an email he sent me on arriving at his new home in China:

“Dear Bob, It’s all so strange here. I don’t think I’m going to like it here. The other pandas all speak Chinese,  and they don’t let me watch my favorite shows on TV whenever I want to like I used to do at home. WE all have to sleep in a big dormitory.  What’s THAT all about? Hope they let me come home soon.”

We do too, Tai.

Panda on, BOB

Oh Those Pandas!

Well, the pandas have done it again, and I don’t know how we will talk our way out of this one!  I mean no one TOLD us that we couldn’t put rocks in the nose of our bobsled to make it faster. I’m not even sure that rocks are a banned substance, are you? There are just so many rules and since my head is full of panda fluff, it’s hard to remember them all.

Panda On! 

Bob

Oh My! Pandas in the winter olympics!  We are all quite excited about our chances in the winter olympics.  The pandas have been practicing on  the ski slopes, the bob sled runs, and most importantly, on the ice skating rink. Know for their grace and athletic ability, pandas are sure to shine on the ice, especially in Ice Dancing. Let’s look in on one of their practice sessions….

As you can see, the pandas are in rare form, and should be valiently victorious aginst TEAM CANADA.

That’s all for now – I have to get back to coach the tibetan bobsled team!

Panda On

Bob the Panda

Well, here we are at the dawn of both a new year, as well as a new decade.  We pandas have been quite busy this last year, what with preparing for the winter olympics, the Bob and Bob project ( that’s the one where I, Bob the Panda, sing all the songs of Bob Dylan, backed up by the all panda band, The Banda-Pandas).  We will be appearing on the Mehitabel Tonite! show some time in the future. But we were talking about LAST year: 2009 in Pandy-land!

January

The new year started out with the repercussions of Bob’s arrest for biting and mauling a young man who was very moved to hug Bob, because he is so very cute.  When interviewed about the incident on the Mehitabel Tonite! show,  Bob claimed, “It happened so fast…I just felt so, so…violated!”  As Bob did not have bail funds, he was held until his trial in February. Tune in next week for events in February and March of 2009!

Until then, Panda On!

Bob T. Panda

Consequences for hugging pandas

Pandas are on the move from blogger to WordPress. I’m not sure why I’m doing this, only that pandas are kind of restless. We just can’t be tied down  to one place. For this reason, pandas were selected to take part in carrying the Olympic Torch on the Great Wall of China. ( see picture). I will be reporting on all the pandatheletes that are taking part in the 2010 Olympic games in Vancouver B.C. Hope you can join us.

Bob The Panda

That’s the name of my new organization. It stands for the “Woodland Park Zoo: Project Panda.” (Every organization, first and foremost, needs an acronym that can be pronounced in a snappy and memorable way. This did not work out quite so well for the Washington Public Power Supply, but hey, we can’t all be pandas, ya know.) I will stop at nothing in my quest to bring pandas to the NorthWest, except of course at emptying my own bank account, which quite frankly, wouldn’t be enough to feed a couple of pandas for a month. So, if there are any millionaires out there reading this, or if YOU know a millionaire, alert them to the mission of WOOZPPAH! and ask them to get in touch with the Seattle Woodland Park Zoo and say, ” We want Pandas here in Seattle, and here is a great big bag of money to help make it happen.”
We pandas have a saying: Someone’s always got more bamboo than you. I’m not quite sure what that means, but I’m passing it along all the same.
Panda On!
Bob T. Panda

Those of you who are following my comings and goings on InYourFaceBook, may have heard of my recent announcement. I have a cunning plan. I think that there should be pandas in the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle WA. Those who follow the zoonooz, of pandas in particular, know that all the pandas in US zoos are in hot, humid climates. I mean what were they thinking? Would you want to live in Atlanta GA in a fur coat? I think not. I would like to start a grassroots campaign to bring pandas to Seattle. We would love it here! Misty gray skies, cool summers and the occaissional snowfall to play in. Write to your favorite billionaire and ask him or her to start oiling the wheels of progress and bring pandas to Seattle. It can’t hurt to ask, right?
Panda On, and have a pandy little Christmas!
Bob T. Panda