Tag Archives: zoo

Pacific Northwest Pandas

Ever since I became a pandaholic (I’m not ashamed of my love), one of the great causes for sadness in my life is the fact that I have to get on a plane if I want to go and visit pandas. Not that I have any wish to live in Washington DC, especially as they are in the grasp of Snomaggedon 2016, but why, oh why can’t we have pandas in Seattle?

Well, it turns out that people who can get things done are actually talking to folks in China who hand out pandas (the Office of Panda Procurement and Proliferation). We have no idea if they will be successful in bringing pandas to Washington State, but be assured that we are keeping our fuzzy ears to the ground on this one!

I bet Seattle Pandas would vote for Bob!

I bet Seattle Pandas would vote for Bob!

I can also attest to the fact that bamboo grows really well around here, so if there were Pacific Northwest Pandas they would have plenty of bamboo to choose from! The weather here is very conducive to panda proliferation, so what’s holding us back (I mean besides vast sums of money)? So, if you are a Seattle area millionaire with a fondness for the fuzzy black and white bears, now is the time to come forward and say “I want pandas!!!!!”

There remains only one crucial piece of this campaign to bring pandas to the Pacific Northwest and that is…(wait for it) a really good Twitter hashtag! Please add your suggestions for a Twitter hashtag to the comments section and I will give the contributor of the best hashtag suggestion a signed copy of my latest book, The Panda Chronicles Book 6: We R Endangered (sorry, US entrants only, but even if you don’t live in the US, please share your suggestions. I’ll come up with something less expensive to mail if you have the winning suggestion.)

Till next time!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

A late note: An alert reader brought to my attention, the news that Chuck Todd on Meet the Press not only played the video of Tian Tian frolicking in the snow, but suggested that maybe a panda should be president. I am not making this up. She thought it might be code for “Vote 4 Pinky” but it could just as easily be “Hey! Why not vote for Bob?”

Everything Wants to be Round

I’ve been having so much fun watching the newest of the DC panda cubs reach milestone after milestone…surviving, getting his black and white markings, opening his eyes, and getting fatter, and round and fatter…and…fatter.

This was bound to happen sooner or later.

Feed me, Mama!

Feed me, Mama!

Meanwhile, I don’t think that Pinky was in the least reformed after her adventure in A Halloween Carol. ( You can see them here if you missed them.) As you can see, she has hacked into my computer again and put her headline over mine. Hmmph!

In other panda satire related news, by popular demand, I am working on a Panda Chronicles Coloring Book. If you hadn’t already noticed, coloring books are not just for kids anymore. Adults are jumping on the bandwagon, and getting their own sets of colored pencils and big boxes of colorful marker pens.  These will be available in short order (I hope) as I recently published The Panda Chronicles Book 6: WE R Endangered, so the process is fresh in my mind. I will let you know here on this very site (as well as on Fezbook and Twidder) when the pandas create a colorful swath through the pages of Amazon.

Speaking of Amazon, They have just opened a brick and mortar store at University Village in Seattle (We used to call it Village of the Damned when I worked for a coffee behemoth which shall remain nameless.) If you are a Seattle person, who might occasionally visit said VotD, please stop in and ask for my books. I would love to see the Panda Chronicles in a live bookstore in Seattle. I would happily send you a signed bookplate or three! You can contact me through the “Contact” page. Handy, that!

Till we meet again,
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

 

Talk Like a Pirate Day Returns!

Yes, It’s back! Actually tomorrow has TWO festive celebrations! Not only is it International Talk Like a Pirate Day, it is also Red Panda Day! Huzzah!

So Fabulous Furry Friday is thrilled to rerun Mr Wu’s pirate adventure with the pandy kindy! Huzzah!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of BooBeer!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of BooBeer!

Can you say "Yaaaar!!!"?

Can you say “Yaaaar!!!”?

uh oh!

uh oh!

The penguins save the day!

The penguins save the day!

I promise i will always be a good panda....

I promise i will always be a good panda….

Huzzah! Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day to everyone! You can find this adventure (as well as all of Mr. Wu’s other adventures) in Book 4 of the Panda Chronicles: The Book of Wu!

And of course, we don’t want to forget International Red Panda Day!

"They'll never catch me!"

“They’ll never catch me!”

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Pandas Go Viral Part 2

The other day on Fezbook, Pinky’s Secretary for Saying Nice Things About Pinky reprimanded me for saying that it shouldn’t always be all about Pinky. Sigh. Is this fair? I mean the election is more than a year away and she already has been appointing cabinet members? I mean, who ever heard of that cabinet post? and Secretary of Interior Decorating! Is that really a thing?

Meanwhile, I am trying to reach my political consultants who are not answering their mePhones. Where is MY campaign video? I need it so that my campaign can go viral, for crying out loud.

It's just not FAIR!

It’s just not FAIR!

Meanwhile, in the world of real pandas, the newest panda at the National Zoo in Washington DC has turned 3 weeks old! He’s getting fat and sassy, and I’m pretty sure he is going to make his debut here very soon.

Keep being the bear!
Bob T. Panda

FFF Asks: Who’s Your Daddy?

In all the excitement of the birth of twin panda cubs at the National Zoo, and then the sad news of the smaller of the cubs death, a little news item got…um…overlooked and everyone wants to know: Who’s your daddy?

For today’s Fabulously Furry Friday line up of encores, we revisit some ‘toons that ask that very question.

"It was dark....there were men in masks...."

“It was dark….there were men in masks….”

Who's the bear???!!!

Who’s the bear???!!!

And who can forget the “transformation” of Po and the Meihem twins of Cublanta?

Bao bao changes panda cub gender

Pinky is VERY powerful. Be afraid, be very afraid, Mr Wu.

And finally, we apologize (Ha! No we don’t) for anthropomorphizing pandas, and…um…making fun of them.

Our lack of taste is only exceeded by our sense of the absurd.

Our lack of taste is only exceeded by our sense of the absurd.

Hope this Friday is treating you well! and remember, you can have ALL these cartoons to read again (and again) with the Panda Chronicle series, books 1 thru 5 and coming soon! Book 6!!!!

Be the Bear!
Bob T Panda

Inspector Panda immersed in Art

Every once in a while I like to remind myself that I do know a bit about art, despite the fact that  many (ok, most) of the art history slide lectures I sat through caused me to…um…doze off. What can I say? It was dark, the room was warm, and my art history prof had such a deep, soothing voice.

If you are just joining our story,  you can read the rest of the episodes to date here!

I have this strange sense of deja vu...

I have this strange sense of deja vu…

Meanwhile, in the technical labs of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we are working on several exciting developments, which we will alert you, our faithful readers in the next week or so.  But we will FIRST alert those who have signed up for our mailing list (which you must admit, does not overtax your inbox!) So, if you want to be the first to know what there is to know, you best get over there and sign up to be on our newsletter list.

But wait, you cry! How do I do that? There is a sign-up link near the top of the right hand column, that says Get even More Pandas, and by signing up, you will get my email newsletter whenever I get around to send it.  No News? No email. and you can banish pandas from your inbox any time you choose.  Huzzah! Do it now as there will be some very cool news heading your way next week.

We would be remiss if we didn’t congratulate Princess Pinky on her exciting win over a whole bunch of kinda important icons in the Smithsonian Smackdown this week.  If you thought she had a good opinion of herself before this, wait till you see her pinky-self now! Hooboy. Good luck Mei Xiang.  Your little princess is going places!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

If A Cuppycake Falls in the Forest…

…and there is no one there to hear it, who gets to eat the cuppycake?

Well, this may be a first for the Panda Chronicles, a cartoon with no pandas! However, this panda-less tale comes to us from none other than panda chronicler par excellence`, Henry Nicholls, Author of The Way of the Panda. Henry was kind enough to alert me to the story of a bear in Alaska, who followed his nose to a cuppycake birthday party.

I am not making (some of) this up.

Cuppycakes are to bears as toast is to otters.

Cuppycakes are to bears as toast is to otters.

And although there are no pandas in this particular episode, Mr B. Bear has agreed to appear on the Mehitabel Tonite! Show next week, to talk about his traumatic ordeal. Won’t that be fun?

And while you are thinking about cuppycakes, I think you should hop (or galumph, depending on how many cuppycakes you have eaten today) on over to V Something Speaks and read  the first recipe of The Panda Chronicles Cuppycake Cookbook! It celebrates Princess Pinky, who as everyone knows, is having her first birthday next month.

And, um…Mr Wu has his birthday next week.  We haven’t forgotten you, Mr Wu.  You will always be number one with me!

mr wu speaks out.

Woe is Wu…upstaged by a bunch of gurls!

You might want to watch the San Diego Zoo pandacam on Tuesday morning, for Mr Wu’s birthday party.  Last year his girlfriends at the zoo made him an absolutely spectacular cake for his first birthday, and I’m sure they will attempt to out-do themselves this year.

I hope you are off to a panda-ful week!

Be the Bear (any kind of bear, really!)
Bob T. Panda

Selfies at the Tour de France

Oh my, just when I thought that the practice of taking selfies couldn’t get any more absurd, (see this post) an observant reader told me that people were taking selfies at the Tour de France.  Not only were they taking selfies, they were stepping out into the flow of (really, really, really,) fast bicycle racers in order to do so.

We are talking about bicycle racers with only three fat cells in their entire bodies, who are probably already a little cranky because
A) Someone just compared them to Lance Armstrong,
B) It’s July,
C)There are not actually french fries every where in France,
and
D) Some moron with an iphone – who hasn’t been on a bike since 4th grade –  just stepped out in front of them and they crashed and cannot finish the race because their $12,000 Italian racing bike now looks like a leftover pretzel from the Bumpkin County Fair.

Of course, here at The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire felt we had to address this issue, in the mature and respectful way that you have come to expect from us. (Insert fart joke here.)

Sometimes real life news stories make it Just.  Too.    Easy

Sometimes real life news stories make it Just. Too. Easy

Meanwhile back at the Zoo, panda birthday season has begun.  I hesitate to admit that I don’t know the birthdays of every U.S. born panda, let alone those born abroad, but Washington DC’s favorite #1 son, Tai Shan, celebrated his 9th birthday on July 9th, and the Meihem twins of Zoo Atlanta have their first birthday coming up this Tuesday! (Ya’ll come back for a special birthday ‘toon on Tuesday, OK?)

Meanwhile, in honor of the publication of my book Pandamorphosis, we are inviting you to post pictures of YOUR copy of Pandamorphosis on The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire page on Facebook.

Huzzah!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Zippity Zoom* It’s the last day of the A to ZZZZZ Challenge

* Thanks and apologies to Nancy A.( who coincidentally just sold her first book! Huzzah!)  for using your title, but hey! Z’s, you know?

Yes we have reached the zenith of the A to Z (some might say the nadir), the zero hour, my zombie like stare, from too many hours staring at zee computer. (talk about cheap shots!)  How can I equate something that starts with “Z” to pandas? why, zoos, of course!

But, I promised you a new cartoon, didn’t I? And without any more zigzagging from zonked out cuppycake crazed pandas, here ’tis:

Zee mystery is about to begin!

Zee mystery is about to begin!

But I think you need a few more cartoons to make this a worthy finale, and what could be more appropriate than a couple of episodes of ZooNooZ, the only news show that looks the same whether you spell it upside down, frontwards, backwards, or upside down and backwards!  It’s like a multidirectional palindrome!

Did he really have to tell them THAT????

Did he really have to tell them THAT????

What happens in Vegas.....

What happens in Vegas….. (notice the lampshade? you might want to remember that later.)

Bears are on the ball!

Goodnight everyone!

Thanks for letting the pandas come and play at the A to Z Blog Challenge. We now return you to our regular schedule of pandas.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Make Way, Make Way! A Panda Princess Approaches…

Oh, long have we waited for this day! Our Panda Princess, now just over three weeks old, born into the seat of Panda Power in Washington DC.  A recent statistic hit the FaceWaves today, 38 panda cubs were born around the world this year, with 34 of them surviving.  A major accomplishment in Panda Proliferation, indeed!

And now, for her debut appearance in these pages, we present…

And just how did the panda kindergarten get her address?

And just how did the panda kindergarten get her address?

Meanwhile, back at the drawing board, We await the arrival of another bundle of joy…yes, the proof copy for Book 3 of the Panda Chronicles may just be waiting for me at my post office box.  As soon as I make sure I didn’t make any boo-boos (or that the printer didn’t) I can push the old “publish” button and make The Panda Chronicles Book 3: Nobody Expects the Panda Kindergarten available to panda satire fans everywhere.

If you are a newsletter subscriber, you’ve already had a sneak peak at the cover. So if you aren’t a newsletter subscriber, you can see it here for the first time!

Nobody Expects the Panda Kindergarten!

Nobody Expects the Panda Kindergarten!

and the back cover is just as cool!

didn't I tell you?

A Big Pandy thanks goes out again to Stevi Grega for contributing this tagline.

A small bit of housekeeping:

Due to changing the platform on which The Panda Chronicles appears, I seemed to have misplaced all my subscribers, from the previous incarnation.  I f you still wish to have pandas arrive in your inbox whenever I publish a new post, you will have to re-subscribe.  Thanks for understanding the limitations of  my being a bear of limited technology aptitude.  Newsletter subscriptions were unaffected by this change, in case you were wondering.

Don’t forget to tune into Mr. Wu Wednesday!

Be the Bear

Bob T. Panda