More Alternative Facts

Here at the Panda Chronicles, we are never satisfied with the status quo! Join us in welcoming a new character to the cast, KittySue Conjob. Okay, maybe not welcoming, precisely…because let’s face it, if you think Pinky bends the truth and can be just the tiniest bit annoying, you ain’t seen nothing yet. While creating alternative facts left and right is part and parcel of standard operating procedure here at The Panda Chronicles, that is nothing compared to the whoppers KittySue and her real life inspiration (can you guess who that is? I bet you can!) roll out day after day. But we’re fictional, remember?

But let’s put our paws together for a big pandy welcome to…

alternative facts

Hey! Why are you making another character of questionable ethics a CAT???

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

Voting While Dead

You Know Who swears that this is a thing. Voting while dead. Massive voting fraud. He heard it on Foxy News, so it must be true.  Um…no, it’s not. Enough verifiable sources have said voter fraud on this scale is near impossible, especially in the ways you know who said it happened. When is this election going to be over???? OH….it is? Then why is HWMNBN still campaigning?

But, if people are going to vote while dead, they should at least follow some rules.

voting

This isn’t Nam, man! There are rules here!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

Are you going away with no word of farewell

The departure of Bao Bao from the National Zoo in Washington DC is far from the last thing on all of our minds. (Thanks to the Cameron Cat for reminding me of yet another song of farewell for our Bye-Bye-Bao-Bao playlist) In fact, I think her flight took off this past Tuesday or Wednesday for the 16+ hour flight to China. As I’ve said before, her fictional counterpart, that precocious proponent of panda privilege, Princess Pinky, is not going anywhere. Huzzah!!!! She will remain right here where she belongs.

After all, she is one of my favorite characters and in some ways, she seems to write herself, as they say. I draw her tiara and the words pour forth from her mouth. I’m absolutely sure that this is no reflection on me or any secret plans for world domination or anything like that. You…um…do believe me, right?

So sit back and enjoy one more Fabulous Furry Friday round-up of some of my (and I hope your) favorite Pinky ‘toons!

farewell

Fast furry friends…for now

Send cuppycakes and magical wands!

This is still one of my favorites!

Oh dear….are you going to leave her there?

Mei puts her paw down…

Let Pinky be Pinky! That’s what I say!

Panda on, Pinky!
Bob T Panda

Bunny Magic

Recently I made the discovery that ALL baby pandas get their own personal stuffed bunny during their naming day parties. Okay. Maybe I didn’t “discover” this fact, as much as…um…make it up. An alternative fact for the good of all baby pandas everywhere. I’m not sure whether all the bunnies are magic or not. They certainly seem to be, but whether this is the result of magic wand intervention, or whether the the bunnies are magic from the beginning. Hopefully, all will be revealed in the fullness of time. Or something like that. After all, Mr. Wu had magical bunny slippers in The Wizard of Wu. (An exclusive feature length story that appears in The Book of Wu) 

The question remains: should baby pandas be given magical wands?

magic

Baby pandas need their own magic bunnies to look out for them. We R endangered, you know.

Meanwhile, stay tuned for updates about the availability of The Panda Chronicles Book7! Coming soon!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

Story Time With Bubba

Isn’t Bubba a sweet boy? Reading a story to General Bun and Banky Pig! And wouldn’t you know, that Pinky would come in and disrupt the peaceful scene. While the real Princess Pinky packs her belongings and gets ready for the long flight to China, OUR Princess Pinky is digging in for the long haul.

One of these days, Bubba needs to put a lock on that door.

story

I wouldn’t believe any of Pinky’s stories, Bubba!

And now that I have your attention, here is the FULL cover for the newest offering from the Panda Chronicles! Huzzah! Any day now it will be available to add to your panda library!

The seventh book of The Panda Chronicles Series

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

My opening farewell

No, I’m not going anywhere, so you can stop hyperventilating right this minute. But the real life inspiration for Princess Pinky, that American icon of the Smithsonian institute, out there in the OTHER Washington, Bao Bao, daughter of Mei Xiang and Tian Tian, has to leave for China next week. So, devastated as we are, we must say farewell to that adorable ball of fluff that we love so well. All this month, Fabulous Furry Friday celebrates her royal self. So here’s today’s plethora of Pinkys!!!!

Pinky is a STAR!!!!!

Princess Pinky helps with new years resolutions

You say you want a resolution, well, you know, it is hard to change a bear….

Bao Bao is unhappy

Could Mama Mei Xiang really be contemplating letting Pinky loose on the pandy kindy?

Sochi Winter Olympics, Pandas

I keep hearing the song “bears on the Run” going through my head…the ski run, that is!

Never say “No” to a Pinky!

Those girls are a force to be reckoned with.

Tune in again on Sunday for the rest of the Book 7 cover reveal!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

 

Alternative Facts

You know I couldn’t let this one go by without comment, didn’t you? The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire strives to be the LEADER in the purveyment of alternative facts.  Also alternative words. We make up have the best words here!

Our words are the best!!!!!!

Alternative facts

We have the very best facts

Meanwhile, I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of a proof copy of The Panda Chronicles Book 7: Don’t call mee boo boo! And as promised, here is a PARTIAL cover reveal.  Heh!

And who might that be, trying to sneak onto the cover of Bubba’s book? Tune in soon for the answer and more of the cover.

I hope you notice the very calming blue, bordering on periwinkle, background color. I thought we all needed to calm down just a little bit.

A small housekeeping detail for all the very generous folks who have contributed to my “support a worthy organization of my choosing and get panda stuff” campaign. I just finished the first batch of printing and doing a small drawing on the first group of goodies. I plan to get them in the mail by week’s end. Any one who donates to either Planned Parenthood or the ACLU between now and the end of February, your prints/drawings will go out in early March. Don’t know what the heck I’m talking about? Check out the information HERE!

And I also want to give thanks to my friends Deborah and Leslie, for making donations in honor and memory of the dearly departed Mehitabel, to their favorite cat charities. I can’t think of a better way to honor my sweet kitty. Well, other than having her remain here on The Panda Chronicles as the voice of reason and authority. Someone has to keep those pandas in line!

Keep Being the bear!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

Brave New Pandas

Okay. Laugh if you want, but there really is a panda convention. And no, we don’t ALL dress up like pandas. But if there is one thing panda fans love, it’s going to visit actual pandas, and talking  about pandas. Do we know how to have a good time or what? Of course, if you are here reading these ‘toons, chances are you are one of those people who stalk pandas at every given opportunity! Be brave and admit it. It’s okay, you’re among friends here.

And of course, there will be cuppycakes, right, Leslie?

brave

Oh, brave new world, with such pandas in it!

Update on the next collection of the Panda Chronicles: I finally successfully uploaded the files (yay!) …always the most stressful part. Now I’m waiting for them to approve my files so I can order a hard copy proof! Stay tuned for a cover reveal next week! Huzzah!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

A Farewell to Pandas

We knew this day was coming… the day when we would have to bid a fond farewell to the light and the hope of Washington DC, the inimitable Bao Bao. Here, in these pages, she is better know as Princess Pinky, the terror of Connecticut Avenue, purloiner of Banky Pigs, and tormentor of little brothers. I did not set out to make her a tyrant. It’s just how she evolved. And, I gotta say, she has been a blast to write and draw, and just because the actual Boa Boa is being sent to her ancestral homeland, it’s no reason that Pinky can’t remain here.

Sorry Bubba. She refused to go.

So, as she prepares for her journey later this month, let’s have a tribute to Princess Pinky!!!

Pinky tests her powers….

Pinky has always stood for…um…Pinky’s rights! Aw…this was a cake walk to what’s coming now.

National Zoo cub makes mom Mei Xiang disappear

Pinky gets her wand!

Princess Pinky is fooled by Mei Xiang at the National Zoo

Oh Princess Pinky, mom has a trick or two up her paw, I think…

Princess Pinky paper doll

Princess Pinky and her very first tutu, gifted to her by her big brother Tai Shan!

deleted footage from press conference

Pinky answers difficult questions from the press in her own way. So much for Fake News!

Don’t worry, we’ll bring you more of Pinky’s greatest hits all through February!

And hold on to your hats! Book 7 of The Panda Chronicles is making it’s way through production and will hopefully be available by the time of the Atlanta Cubvention! Stay tuned to this station. And in the meantime, make sure your library is up to date with all the other Panda Chronicles collections!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda!

Summit Talks

The talks between world (cough cough) leaders are not the only summit talks that are now happening around the world. The question is one that has puzzled philosophers for centuries: What do pandas talk about, when they talk about ‘boo? And more importantly, are panda moms the true power behind the curtain?

Give me a cuppycake and a bamboo lever and I will move the world!

Summit

“Why can’t my children be as well behaved as Lun Lun’s,” mused Mei Xiang

Meanwhile, my project to raise funds for Planned Parenthood and the ACLU is going very well. The offer is in effect through February and the details are here:

Donate $50 to either the ACLU or Planned Parenthood and get a signed copy of a cartoon, with a hand drawn sketch on it.
Donate $100 to either the ACLU or Planned Parenthood and get 2 signed cartoons with a hand drawn sketch on them.
Donate $500 to either the ACLU or Planned Parenthood and get an original hand drawn cartoon of my* choice (unframed) (* you can tell me who your favorite panda characters are and I will make a selection based on that info)

Just send me a screenshot of your donation receipt dated between January 31st and February 28th, along with your mailing address, and I will send them out as I receive them. US addresses only, please. Send info/receipt to yourbrainonpandas@gmail.com. Let’s see if we can raise some $$ for these organizations! Pandas are standing by!

Thanks to all who have donated so far!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda