Category Archives: Pandas speak out

Do we REALLY want to review 2017?

I didn’t think so.

The Panda Chronicles Year in Review. (NOT)

In fact, not only was as bad as we thought it would be, it was worse.

Clap Louder
Bob T Panda

The State of the Union (of Pandas)

Far be it from me to fail to capitalize of the tsunami of exposure by putting the words: The State of the Union in my post today. I will not watch it, I did not watch it, except in little bits and pieces that float up on the inter webs like …um…pieces of toilet paper floating downstream from some faulty plumbing. But because we love to make our thoughts known on things political (well, until they drag us away or 45 so enrages hostile forces that they drop a bomb on us) we offer today…

Pandas explain tax reform! An educational feature brought to you by the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire.

Clear as mud!

Does the tax plan foisted on us by an uncaring republican congress make any more sense now?

And don’t forget to join all the happy people who have welcomed Pinky into their life via The Pinky Defense! Huzzah! Available via the picture of Pinky’s book on the right-hand column!

Do you want to make Pinky mad? Buy her book before she finds out!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

And a Happy(er) New Year

Hey!

This is a bonus ‘toon, because you have all been such good panda cubs. On this first day of the new year, let me tell you how much I value you all! I love that you not only read my ‘toons, but you create whole dialogs between the pandas we know and love, on Facebook and Twitter and know the voices and personas I’ve given their panda satire counterparts. I love that you send me cookies and panda presents and cards. I love that you check to see I’m okay when a natural (or unnatural) disaster happens in my area.

But mostly, just thank you for being here and embracing and believing what I do here. It makes me just a bit schmoopy every time you tell me my panda humor has helped you through the day.

May olde acquaintance be forgot…

Keep panda-ing on.
Forever Bob T

Banned by Mittens

Controversy continues to swirl around the question of conflict of interest in the Executive Branch of the government. It’s been a long time since my civics and government classes in high school (never you mind HOW long) but I don’t remember the chapter titled: Using the Presidency to Get Rich – A guide to better living through self promotion. I’m pretty sure that kind of behavior is banned in government. Press secretary and presidential councilor product pimping comes to mind, for example.

But some companies have declined to carry certain product lines and You Know Who called for boycotts

Banned

Buy my books! Mittens HATES them!

Sooner or later a line is going to be crossed. Um…who am I kidding. So many lines have already been crossed with no consequences whatsoever. I would have been sent to my room with a stern lecture at least 20 scandals ago.  But buy my books anyway.

#WatchingFrom theCheapSeats #Invokethe25th

Panda on
Bob T Panda

The Not So Affordable Care Act

To be completely honest (unlike certain politicians I could name, but won’t, since they’re all lawyers) I didn’t plan for this cartoon to be scheduled right after the **New Improved** (NOT!!!!) Affordable Care Act substitution proposal was announced. It just worked out that way.  I’m not going to go into a rant here (okay maybe just the teeniest, tiniest cute rant) because you can go read all the details in the news or on Twidder and FezBook. Let’s just say that it is not a whole lot better than what’s coming up in today’s ‘toon.

We might already be tired of how great everything is becoming.

affordable care act

How easy is it going to be to stay healthy with no EPA or food safety regulations? Asking for a friend.

Panda On (And let’s be careful out there!)

Bob T Panda

PS: have I mentioned that my new book is out???

The seventh book of The Panda Chronicles Series

 

More Alternative Facts

Here at the Panda Chronicles, we are never satisfied with the status quo! Join us in welcoming a new character to the cast, KittySue Conjob. Okay, maybe not welcoming, precisely…because let’s face it, if you think Pinky bends the truth and can be just the tiniest bit annoying, you ain’t seen nothing yet. While creating alternative facts left and right is part and parcel of standard operating procedure here at The Panda Chronicles, that is nothing compared to the whoppers KittySue and her real life inspiration (can you guess who that is? I bet you can!) roll out day after day. But we’re fictional, remember?

But let’s put our paws together for a big pandy welcome to…

alternative facts

Hey! Why are you making another character of questionable ethics a CAT???

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

There’s Something Happening Here…

...what it is ain’t exactly clear.…Things are happening very fast and I don’t think it is a good thing. When you are steering a ship of state, which is much bigger, than say, the Titanic, it seems like you would want to chart your course carefully, lest  you, ya know, run into an iceberg.  Not just barrel on ahead, because you like the sound of your own voice that much.

Heh.

Meanwhile, there is no such thing as an alternative fact, unless you are talking about speculative science fiction. Are we still allowed to use the word “science”? It’s good to remember that not everything is as it exactly appears in any particular snapshot (or screenshot!) But that doesn’t mean we should not pay attention. Or talk about what we’ve read or heard. Question everything, and let your representatives know how you feel, good and bad.

Our Future is at stake. Let’s treat it like it means something. Keep the conversation going.

Are all these paper clips mine?

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

What if You Gave an Inauguration & Nobody Came?

Hoo boy! We are right here, at Apocalypse Inauguration Eve, and I gotta tell you, my tummy is doing flip flops. I don’t even know if I can get all these cuppycakes down that I have lined up on the counter in front of me. Despite a certain party’s claims to the contrary, you can find a ball gown in DC, and apparently hotel rooms are available too. On the one hand, you hate to rile up a person with so thin a skin and such a penchant for vindictiveness.

On the other hand, there is this:

inauguration

Hey, save some cuppycakes for me!

Panda On, and let’s be safe out there!
Bob T Panda

And did anyone get my nod to the old Bob and Ray “Wally Ballou” routines, where they joined the roving reporter midway through his introduction? We need anything we can find to cheer ourselves up! Enjoy!

Join the Panda March this Saturday!

If you want to be where the action is the day after THE DAY AFTER, be sure to join one of the Women’s Marches that will taking place around the country. And yes, I put the phrase The Day After in scary SHOUTYCAPS/ all bold typing in reference to one of those post apocalyptic movies about the end of the world. The pandas are planning to march and I hope you will too. We are having a local march in Langley and I plan to attend. Maybe we’ll all go out for coffee and cuppycakes after. It’s shaping up to be that kind of week.

Join the #WePreferPinky Movement today!

March

Whats a protest without pandas?

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

I’d like to thank writer Deborah Underwood for coming up with the term “SHOUTYCAPS” to describe the feeling you get when someone writes in all capital letters. That’s why they pay her the big bucks. (Actually, hardly any writers for children make big bucks, so if you are looking for some really fun books for kids in your life, do check out her books at your local bookstore or on her website! She and her cat will thank you!)

The Scottish Pandas: Who will get custody?

This Thursday Scotland will vote on whether they want to be a nation independent from England. I don’t know what the benefits or hardships on either side would be, but that’s never stopped me from making fun of the process.  I realize that the custody of the Scottish pandas are a very minor issue in the question of a nation’s independence, but hey! Panda fans want to know!

If pandas don't ask this question, who will?

If pandas don’t ask this question, who will?

And what if Tian Tian (aka Sweetie) has a cub? Talk about a Royal Baby!

Meanwhile in the world of red pandas, friend and co-author Vicky Vladic has posted about International Red Panda Day, that is coming next week on September 20th (one day after International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19th!). Go right now and read about red pandas and you might find a new cartoon that has not been posted here yet. Huzzah!  You will also find a recipe from the upcoming Panda Chronicles Cuppycake CookBook for Red Panda Red Velvet Cuppycakes, a recipe that I am planning on trying really soon!

In addition to being International Talk Like a Pirate day, Friday September 19th is also the day I’ll be at the Freeland Branch of the Sno-Isle Library to talk about the Pandas of Pandamorphosis! If you will be on Whidbey Island at 11 AM  this Friday, check out the Sno-Isle website to get directions and come on by. I’ll be talking about um…pandas, and will have books available to sign for purchase. I promise I won’t talk like a pirate through the whole presentation.

Be the Bear (AAARRRRRGH!)
Captain LongBob T. Panda