Dear Ms. Mehitabel,

Thank you for your recent letter.  If you would be so kind as to consult your instruction manual, you would see that the sequence of connecting the plugs must be in a precise order, or the interface will not combobulate.  We hope that this clears up any misunderstandings about the warranty on your specific product.

Sincerely,

The customer service panda

The Panda Chronicles

Dear Mr. Panda,

I most certainly did not write to complain about a product that I might (and did NOT) purchase from The Panda Chronicles.  In fact, I would never buy anything from a company that:

A) Uses such terrible grammar; and

B) Can not direct complaint letters to the correct department.

Please be advised that I am forthwith canceling my subscription to The Panda Chronicles and request a refund for any issues not received.

Sincerely,

Mehitabel the Cat.

Dear mizz cat,

We hardly think it is our responsibility if purchasers REFUSE to read the instrucktion manual.  we think you should take our product and wear it on your head as a hat.

So there,

The panda kindergarten   Panda Chronicles service department.